You Are Not Your Business
Morning. Ladies and welcome, to Facebook live Friday my name is Heather Patrick and I'm the soul and sass behind. Our private, Facebook group for female, business leaders of style, wit, and substance. If you are joining me for the first time a post, up a thumbs, up or a heart in, the comments, below I am so glad that you are here today today. Ladies we are talking, about this. Incredibly. Defeating. False, belief, that we operate under in, our. Careers, and in our businesses, and here it is the. Idea that we, are our. Business. Now. I would love if that resonates with you if if I would love for you to post a 1 in, the, comments, below, if you feel like you. Are your, business you define, yourself. By. The business, you run or. The title that you carry, in your career. Post a 1 in the comments, and there's, a sneaky way there's a sneaky little. That there is if hey. Brandi thanks for being here there's. A sneaky little assess, that we can do right, now to determine if, you, fall prey to this. False, belief okay. So first off here's the litmus test when. You go to a social. Event be, it a party, hey good morning Brandi a party. Or a dinner, out and. You're a networking, event and you are meeting people for the first time here's. Your litmus, test, when. Someone asks, you what, do you do for a living or what work do you do what. Do you say. Do. You say something like I'm. An entrepreneur or, I'm, a fill, in your job title I'm a lawyer I'm an accountant, I'm a CFO, I'm a managing partner, I am. X, is, that, what you say and if. It is, then. I'm sorry, honey but you are, defining, yourself based, on what you do for, a living and that, is a, recipe, for disaster, it's a, recipe for self, torture and I want to talk about that today Brandi. Says so funny I was thinking about this exactly, yesterday, right whoo. Like connected. Awesome. Okay. So if you feel like yes, I define, myself based, on what, I do for a living hey Jenny. If. You say I'm an entrepreneur and you use that as a. As, a badge, of honor right it is, your title in life it's your the flag that you have planted, it is who you, are and it defines.
How. You feel about yourself that. I want to caution you, very. Carefully but, that is a slippery, slope and a recipe for self torture so let's talk about that I call, it one of the most damaging, false, beliefs, that we can operate under. As, women. Business leaders whether you are on the corporate side managing. And leading the way for a business or whether, you are an entrepreneur building. Growing and nurturing your dream it does not matter when, we operate under this false belief that, we are our, business, or we are our title. It's. A recipe for self, torture you. Know I see so many talented, women define, themselves by, their business you know I am an entrepreneur I am a managing director and, we, we. See ourselves as. Our, business and when we do it puts, our self-worth. And, our. Confidence, on, thin. Ice. Because. If the business isn't doing well then it means we're, a pile of steaming dog poo right if we. Aren't seeing the results, that we want if the money's not coming if the team isn't growing if sales aren't rocketing, and we. Are our, business, or our organization. Then, who, are we we, are failing, we're not good enough we're not working hard enough we're. Not smart enough maybe we're not even meant, for, this see. What I mean by, this recipe, for self-torture. Jen. Says what do you say when someone asks you that question ooh, very, good we're gonna get to that in a minute Jen love, it so your brain works faster, than my mouth awesome, hold that thought. So. Oh and. One of the other alarming things is is if, you, constantly. You know here's another litmus, test if you're constantly checking your bank, balance or the balance, sheet on your organization. And you. Get that sinking feeling like oh my, god the money isn't there or that's not a big enough number it's. Because, you're, using those, numbers. As a barometer for. Your self-worth. Okay, I'm gonna stop reading your comments tags this is distracting. I should, tell thanks for being here I haven't seen you in a while love that you're here on a Friday. Yeah. If your bank your bank balance, is not. A barometer measure. For your self-worth. Potential. And your, impact but so often, in our business we. Walk down this slippery slope of thinking we are our, business and this is particularly, prone. If. We are a business of self if you are an independent professional, right. If you are a financial planner, a real estate agent a lawyer. Anything. Where you are your own agent, you have your own book of business right if you're a coach consultant therapist. Anything. Of that ilk, this, is one of the biggest traps, that we can fall into is thinking that we are the, business ergo. The financial, health of the business is a direct. Correlation. To, our self-worth, value. And potential false, belief, recipe. For disaster and, self. Torture so, I want to ask you this, question hey, Tracy thanks for being here ask. You this one question riddle, me this who. Are, you. Without. The. Business. Who. Are you if you. Are not an entrepreneur or, a business owner, who are you if you. Are not your. Even. House. Right if you take a great deal of pride in where you live, who. Are you without that, house if, you're. Really proud of the, car that you drive or any other superficial. Possession. And that were to be taken away from you who. Are you without. Those. Things, who are you, without. Even some of the relationships, you hold dear in, dear and near to your heart who, are you without. The, marriage, that, you carry. And where who, are you beyond, your, children, if you define yourself as a mother so, this goes well beyond, the realms of Business. And Finance and, money making this. Is a question, for all women. Business, leaders how, do you define yourself. What do you hinge your, self-worth, on, is it, your title is it your home is it your postal, code is that where your office is is it, the size and, savviness. Of your network is it the vacations, that you take is it the car, that you drive is it the stylish clothes that you wear how. Do, you define yourself, worth now. For many women business leaders one of our core, self-worth. Drivers, is what, we do for a living right and I think this is very common among men as well but. Who are you without. Your, business that's my central question for you and here's, the thing if that, question sends.
Shivers, Down, your spine or. Creates, this sense of nausea, in your guts it's. Because, you, are hinging, far, too, much of your self-worth on something, that, really at the end of the day. Does. Not matter, and does not equate to who you are as a human being now. Here's the thing if. You. Draw a blank, or have. A sense, of panic about who, am i without my business how would I define myself how would I introduce, myself to strangers, it's. A litmus test to tell you that you're, going down a slippery slope honey and it's, a recipe for self torture the. Truth is if the false belief is that we. Are our, business, or our bank account or any other superficial, item in life the, real truth is that you are so. Much. More. You. Are more than your business you, are more than your relationships, you earn more than the car that you drive and the clothes that, you wear if all, of those things were removed, in an instant. Right. If in, one moment you, won, the lottery and money, in business was no longer a pressure or factored, who. Would you be. Or. Try. The scenario, on if other. Side of the scenario, what if you lost it all what. If your business collapsed you. Lost your home you went bankrupt, you had nothing. Who. Would you be how. Would you define yourself or. Another. Great scenario if you are married with a spouse who's also a career, sorry someone just trying to phone me. Speaking. Of spouses. What. If if your, spouse suddenly, got a job in a foreign country and you were no, longer, qualified. Or. You. Couldn't actually hold down a job in that foreign country because of immigration, laws who. Would you be how would, you define, yourself. The. Truth is is that beyond, your job your title and your bank balance you, are so, much, more than all of that. But. When we set, ourselves up, to think we are our business and our bank balance when, we define, ourselves in. These small, boxes. Write, a job, title a bank balance a business. When. We restrict. Who, we are by. This tight, little box we, limit our potential and we. We. Strive, to, fill that small space and at the same time we, pinch off our creativity, our, impact. Our passion, for what we're doing and our, potential, for what we, can do you. Know, when we when. We define, ourselves based. On a business, and the health of that business we set ourselves up, on a treadmill, that never stops, we, start, running a race that we will never end we. Start, what, did I say we start living a nightmare we, cannot, escape. Because. We are so much more than, those small. Categories. Titles. And balance. Sheets. The. Point of exploding. This false belief that, we are our business, when. The truth really is is that as women business leaders we are so much more we. Are mothers, daughters, wives, business, people community, leaders, friends. We are, we. Are. Unlimited. Beings. Of potential. And impact, and love but, when we wrongly, define. Ourselves in these little categories, by these little businesses, we. Pinch off our creativity, and our impact and we, hinge our self-worth, on the opinions, of others and the, size of our bank balance and, the, judgment, of other people and how, slick our marketing, material, is and how, big our social media following, is or is not or, the.
You. Know the size of our garage we hinge our self-worth, on all this. Superficial. Things and we. Torture, ourselves when, instead. We mean to realize that we are so, much more. The. Point of exploding. This Salt self false, self belief is that. It. Is something that tortures us as women and it, keeps us playing so, small. We're afraid to risk rocking. The boat or looking, foolish. But. It's really a call out for all of us if we can drop this false belief we. Can sink. Into the, knowing, that. We. Are so much more and when we do, there's. This magical. Thing that happens, right. Call it being a Zen master of business I call, it being an unshakable, business leader but, this magical, thing happens, when we pitch, this false belief and, realize we are actually so much bigger than any of these things so, much more powerful, and resilient. We. Begin to play we. Begin to play in our business and in our lives we begin to take, risks, because we're not as attached to the outcomes we're not afraid of something saying that, didn't work or boya looked funny or the results weren't there we're, not afraid by being defeated, or found. Out as not being perfect we, begin to play we begin to stretch we get to grow and risk, and that. Is when we, we start, to make a beautiful impact. It. Really is this counterintuitive. You. Know. There's. This story when I keep. Thinking about when. You are learning to box and I'm no boxer but I've you know I'm a fan of boxing, movies. You. Know boxing, instructors. Will often say it's so counterintuitive that, when a guy is coming at you with a left hook you, actually need to lean in and that. Throws him off that's. The same thing when. We think that, our value, or in our self-worth, is our bank balance our business and our title, it. Makes, us lean back and restrict. And not risk and strangle. Activities. Because. We're afraid that if, that goes down if that's not perfect then who are we when. The truth is is that we are so much more than that when we bust through, that false, belief, and realize our power we. Lean in we. Risk, we become creative, we've become impactful, we become magnetic, for. All of the people and resources we, truly have been striving for. So. This is a call out for you to begin to play in, your, business instead of strangling. Instead, of grinding, it out you know we glamorized, the doing it all and the hustle hard and with the busy brag, we. Need to drop those, false beliefs, and realize, that we are so. Much more we, need to begin to play at, life. Begin, to play in our business, and when. We do the. Real results, start coming we, really tap, into our personal, power our, creativity, and our, impact. Tracy. Says I had to get into intimate. With this question hold on over. The past year I discovered I am, a curious resilient. Woman who loves conversation. That stimulates, the soul yes. And none, of that relates. Or is bound, by your. Business, title. Your, business's. Name or your bank balance you are so much more than that, boom, Thank, You Tracy perfect, example, Jen read, that Shaheena. Thanks in here. So. Here's my question for you ladies. Number. One recognize, the, litmus test if you, define, yourself based, on your business if you get like the sweaty nervousness, by thinking you know if I couldn't you, know if I didn't have this business or if I didn't have this title who would I be, then. It means, you really need to lean into this question, and. Number. Two what, are you, hinging your self-worth on, bank. Balance business title, where. You live how big your home is how stylish you look those, are all BS, superficial. Things that are keeping you in a box and having. You strangle. All of, your activity. So. My questions to you then are these three. Humdingers. For. You ladies today to ponder, on on this Facebook live Friday, number. One in, your business to, get to a sense of play and realize you are so much bigger I want.
You To think about how, can you carry. The business lightly. How. Can, you, make. This, fun. Again. And how. Can you stay. In action. Without. Torturing. Yourself and, attaching. To, the outcomes, those are my three questions for you I'm gonna give it to you again number. One how can you carry this lightly whatever, you are shooting for in your business and and don't, get me wrong here I love. Focus. Action. And effort. In our business but. When that becomes, not, just playful, action, and creativity, and possibility, but, when it comes a grind, a hustle. A you. Know a relentless. Struggle. Then, we've gone too far and we've hinged our self-worth on something that we shouldn't be so. How can you carry this business lightly number, two how. Can you stay in action, in your business but, not attached. To the outcomes, and, number three how can you simply, make this fun again. When. You anchor into the answers, to those questions you. Tap into, creativity. And real, power and magnetize your business instead. Of grinding, and torturing, yourself to, death which is never going to bring the results that you want doesn't, matter how slick your tactics, or how, fancy, your marketing, if the energy behind your action, is grinding. Hustling and struggle then, you're just gonna get more of that. Personal. Example, a couple of things I've been having conversations with many, of the women in my unshakeable, Business Leaders program. Private. Mentorship. And mastermind, program. And. It occurs to me you know of of, women I've talked to you this happens so easily you, know I know woman in particular who, is a lawyer and for, a long time in her business it, has been held over her head like a big stick that she beats herself with, what, are my busines Bulow errs what are my billable hours am I gonna make my quota this month and it becomes a struggle and this grind, instead. Of realizing, that she is so much bigger than her billable. Hours, the number on the spreadsheet at the end of the month you. Know I'm thinking of another woman who is a financial planner who is an independent professional, and for, years. She has been holding this beating, stick over her head that you. Know if if I go bankrupt I can't do this job anymore right, what happens if I go bankrupt and, the, reality is she, is so far, from that ever happening. And yet, she continues, to torture, herself every month what, if I go bankrupt right. Anybody, in the financial, services industry you, know what that feels like right, that looming, threat that, you've, got to keep your financial, house in order or you, can't do this job anymore we torture, ourselves with. These external, indicators. For. Myself personally for, a long time in my business I used to torture, myself you. Know I'd set these lofty, goals beginning, of the month and. With every passing day I looked, at that goal and and if I hadn't if I wasn't on pace I started, you know over the days and that month I started to feel increasingly more like a steeping, heat steaming, heap of dog poo because I wasn't meeting my goal all the, while, discrediting. And dismissing, all of the fantastic consistent. I was, doing to reach out to impact, women's lives and to make a difference.
So. When we hinge our self-worth, on these external. Measures. We. Rob the, creativity, the passion and, the true, juice of why we got into this business in the first place when. We hold on to this false belief that, we are our business and if, it's failing so, must, we be it. Is it is, actually criminal, what, we do to ourselves right, I'm. Thinking of a colleague. Who Kyle calls this the mind. F right. We do this mine, f you, know what I mean on ourselves, and, it absolutely. Pulls. The plug on the, impact we can make hey. Sarah thanks for being here so ladies, that's what I wanted to share with you today it really quickly is one, of the worst. False. Beliefs we can carry as women business leaders that we define ourselves and, our success based on our title or our, bank balance and that really, is a recipe, for self torture so. Those are my three questions for you today to become Zen, masters, of business or as I call it becoming. An unshakable, business leader is how. Can I carry this lightly how, could I make this fun again and how, can I stay in action, without, attaching, to the outcomes would, love to know your thoughts and, reactions to, our discussion, today I'm, gonna jump off real quickly because I know my husband is trying to get ahold of me and. I'm gonna go carry you Friday lightly, and make this. Day fun I hope you will too thanks, for being here and giving me your time post, your comments and questions below yeah, I will respond, throughout the day thanks, loves have, a great Friday.