TSL Plays: Red Flags
You know why they got no gag reflex? Yeah, why? 'Cause they are at the back of the human centipede. Hey guys, welcome to another episode of TSL Plays! In today's special Valentine's Day episode, We're going to play Red Flags! And if you can't already tell, we're all single. And available, might I add. Here are the rules! - Come pitch to me. - Okay Brenda. What is the good quality of my date? - Why are you shrieking!? - Why you laugh until like that?? Sorry because my cards are funny! Fiercely loyal.
Never arrives prematurely. I explain this one first. - Zhin is always late is it? - Correct! Honestly, the premature thing I was thinking of a totally different thing. - Huh is that not? - Yeah is it not? That means they always ejaculate too fast. I didn't know.
We are that PG version. Oh I see, I see, okay. This person is never going to give up, let you down, run around, or desert you. Wow. Always knows how to stop you from crying.
Wow that is good. And on the other end of the spectrum, This person will give you multiple orgasms! - Oh damn! - That's how they stop you from crying. So the only time you will shed tears is because you- Is the most physically attractive person you have ever seen.
Wow! Okay here we go. It's the sabotage round. I know you like privacy a lot. So this person is going to live-tweet your entire date. - Omg. -No, no, no. That person thinks you're ugly. Hey that is rude.
So rude! This person can stop you from crying, Can give you multiple orgasms. But actually, This person, Is actually dead. Noooooo! Holy shit.
Not only does this person still use Tinder while they are dating you, They are using Tinder during sex. Oh no... Tinders during sex what the heck. Actually this person sounds like a real person. I think quite okay what.
Eh hello stop. You cannot Tinder during sex that's rude. No, if y'all are looking for a plus one.
No! I mean. Yeah see! This is hard. Everything is terrible. Okay actually I know my answer already.
I would date... Fauzi's character. Omg yay! But they think you're ugly! But the person will never let me down, run around, or desert me. Omg that actually quite a nice person, I would say.
They love your heart. Yeah the heart. You are such a polyglot. What's that? Multilingual. You can speak many languages.
No she thought it's a Pokemon. They speak every romance language. Will make your friends and enemies jealous. That's toxic why'd you want to make your friends jealous? I can tell you my other cards. One is YouTube celebrity. Why am I describing myself.
That's damn disgusting. Makes you feel secure. That's very important. Omg. I love yours! The only to make you feel secure right, Is to let you know what is going to happen in the future together.
That's why they have a time machine. Wow... Omg. I want! Is always trying to kill you.
Cannot! Keeps changing the subject to talk about how not racist they are. - Keeps changing the subject to talk about how not racist they are. - Ew, that's annoying. - Very annoying. - That's awful. You are allergic to them. Huh!? You can take anti-histamine.
Very cheap. From Guardian. It's like $2. Alright so you meet this hottie at a bubble tea place, Then y'all arrange for a date right, Then they bring their mom. Wow this one...
Not a problem for me. Yeah. - Huh really? - Yeah.
So Mandon wins! Completely blind to all your flaws. I don't have any flaws. They always give you perfect gifts. Oh no.
Too many gifts cannot right? Gifts are the last of my love languages. - Gifts are the last of my love languages. - Yay. Yay. I hate gifts! Maybe the gift is in the form of a- Like- Present! You will literally not age when you date them.
Ohhh! I like, I like. But let's say you won't age but the person will age. Then they will die. Aiyoh...so sad. - Aiyoh...so sad. - It's okay.
Then you'll get their money and you can be Bling Empire. You know what, I don't mind that. Huh... If someone wants to leave their entire inheritance in my name, For sure, I would say a hundred percent, Yes! If you are 99 and you're about to die I will also still say yes. Money is very important. Open mouth kisses their pets.
- Oh that's- - To me it's okay, Oh I'm okay. This person travels a lot and can give you billions, But is not potty trained. Shit everywhere.
This person, Is your clone! I think you'll have a great time kissing your clone. Noooo! Yesterday we went to Plaza Singapura, The customer service guy was exactly like Fauzi. Hi, um, how many vouchers do you want? In denominations of 10? You can? This person will know all your right spots to hit. I mean.
Sell it, sell it. Sell it to me. I know it'll get on your last nerves.
Oh shit I'm scared. - For their entire lives, - Oh no. Even if they are 99 years old, Oh no.
They have never ever spelled a word correctly. - Oh shit. - Not a single word! I think you confirm cannot. Fudge. Then I will- You will get angry. 100% already. This one the answer is a clear-cut to me.
Its Renae's. My revenge is here! Yay! I'd much rather date my own self, Knowing that this person will spell things correctly. That's true. Okay for Ms Renae Cheng.
So exciting. He owns a solid gold private jet. This one is better for me.
I know you need a guy right, Who is a good listener. Not really. "Very tailored". Wow! So this guy will have genius-level IQ. Eh no.
I've dated guys like that before they always put me down. Perfect amount of physical affection. Never blames you for anything.
Perfect amount of physical affection right, Mine has the best sex ever! No but that's only sex. Loves the outdoors. Oh. No.
I don't even like to go out. Straight away lose. This one no need wait- Yeah I think like Fauzi is like- We don't even need a Red Flag because like- He is so far ahead I can't even see y'all. Brenda thank you for participating.
Is married. Eh! - That's a deal breaker for her. - I will never ever be a home wrecker. That's awful. That's disgusting. Steals something from every store they enter. Oh that's f**ked up. Genius though.
Omg maybe like Money Heist like that. Ok so Brenda has surpassed you. Oh shit. Is an egoistic monster and is a cheater. Oh no.
Monster as in like Monsters Inc that kind of monster? Yeah. Keeps talking about someone who looks just like you, only better. I experienced this so many times. Are you serious?! They would literally be like: Would you like to see my ex? She looks just like you! Ok in the plot twist of the century, I might have to go with Brenda.
Omg what! Is this you first win? - Yes! - I saved you. I don't want someone who puts me down, I don't want a cheater, I don't want to cheat. Owns an adorable coffee shop. - Omg! - That's so you! This person right, Has beautiful eyes.
Like her eyes tell stories. Tells a story of pain and horror. Her eyes like that one. I mean if you want to date a demon, sure. Why the f**k not. Satan's number is here.
Stop it! +65? To 666? Oh yeah if you want the Ah Beng version. Ah Sa Tan. S A Tan. Oh yeah! On the uniform. Omg yes! The fact that all these came about because of your "beautiful eyes".
We truly have issues. You know what, this person, their farts smell like flowers. Oh wow.
No the thing about farts that disgust me is the sound. Yeah x7. So when you fart you're disgusted with yourself? No I will do the- This is the dirtiest episode ever.
Omg I saw the card. This one is like there is no going back from this. Really? It's incest. This person slept with one of your parents recently. This is to me a hundred percent a deal breaker.
Has the names of all their exes tattooed on their face. That's nasty. This one already cannot man. But x6. But the tattoo is- Yeah x6. The tattoos are all damn small one.
Add together look like Hafeez's mole. 'Cause I know Fauzi does not stand a chance right, - The human Febreeze? - Yeah. I know this doesn't matter to you also. This person counts your calories. Eh. Always bragging about past sexual conquests.
Okay I will pick the human Febreeze. What a twist of events! We're done with the first round! Wow I smell- ugh. You can kind of tell which are the ones that have been unwrapped. 22 become like what already! Why got paper? Don't want. I'd rather eat something.
Mine looks perfect and untouched. Damn it. Why paper? I hate paper. What's this? What's yours? It's garlic. - Yours is a brussel sprout. - Oh mine's a sprout! Sprouts are fine. Brenda what's yours? What is it? I'm really only here for participation.
The next round I can only put one trait. Ok that's not too bad to be honest. Are you okay? - For some reason that voice was really sexy. - Garlic? I love garlic. I can eat for you. You want? How 'bout they trade? You want? Yeah. It's a clove of garlic in chocolate.
Wow 10/10 would date you. How was your treat Renae? It's yummy I feel so blessed. Have you eaten you brussel sprout? No it's right here. I feel funny wait. Omg I think I need to vomit. Go x4.
Ok I go vomit first. Oh my! That wasn't sexy enough? I like the dark one. It gets sexier? Wait it gets darker than death?! Yes! How? Let's go! Yes I got the dark one! Oh wow mine is f**ked up. Sex with them keeps your skin clear. Wow. Not only that, this person, Has no gag reflex.
This person loves to roleplay, the sexy kind. Oh shit. Oh he's into it! - He's into it! - He like! - He's into it guys! - He like! I cannot with uniforms. Army? Navy? Air Force? Anything. McDonald's? How are you with Acts of Service as a love language? - Wow that one is- - He like. Are you serious? Yeah very.
This is going to blow your mind! Blow your mind and blow your other things. Built you a house with their bare hands just to have sex with you in it. Wow! Mandon time for you to sabotage Brenda's date for Zhin. You know why they got no gag reflex? Yeah why? 'Cause they are at the back of the human centipede. Ok that's a throwaway already.
Yeah bye. No wait! No, no! Can cut off. Got genitals full of spiders. Have you seen the Australian ones? Is it the erupt one? No but maybe you're okay with spiders. I'm not x3.
A gentle tickling sensation.\ I hate this card personally, to be honest. I really hate this. This gives me anxiety. Oh no. Only responds to texts with "k".
Oh you're a call person. I am a terrible texter. You're a call person! The one who will reply "k" is actually me.
Yeah! This person right, Every time you fall asleep they sell one of your organs. Every time you fall asleep. That means maximum- Maximum you can be with them for maybe 7-10 nights then- This one is hands down Renae. Omg yay.
Zhin. But then for this round I can only draw out one white card. Because of just now. Oh yeah. So I'm will choose: Will go down on you for as long as you want, and loves it. This one like she wouldn't know.
She wouldn't know whether she likes or don't like. But the person will. Okay can. Every time you have sex with him, $500 goes straight into your bank. This is so bad. You're saying she is a prostitute.
- Am I? - No. This is all about consent. He is not paying you for the sex. His abs are a work of art.
Wow... So when he's talking to you, you can like- - So when he's talking to you, you can like- - This is the ideal for her. Touch him like ooh~ Destroy! Sabotage Zhin. Come.
Literally come. 'Cause he sweats semen. Omg. So this person creates shelters, and gives you money. But has two other spouses.
Cannot. I cannot. Oh dear me. Fudge. Yeah she hate that one. She don't want.
I must be the one and only. Some people can I cannot. Wow really treat you like some mistress. Yeah that;s why. Now really like Siam Diu eh.
Yeah. First part it says "is still a virgin". Which might be fine. But if you don't count bestiality. Let's say you hurt yourself right, Then you got scabs.
But your lover right, He picks and eats your scabs. 'Cause Mandon say the lover leave you sore, Then you imagine the- The scabs from your thing. And then you imagine when you make out with him, There are remnants stuck in his teeth. Of you. In all honesty having two spouses...
Wait. Fauzi wins I'm so sorry, You can only go extramarital. Scabs are just like the small cuts.
Cannot! Why would you want to eat? DO YOU. DO YOU EAT YOU PISAI? Noooo! It was at this moment that he knew, He f**ked up. Did you just expose yourself? Mandon! Wait, wait.
Wait a minute, wait a minute. I cannot do this episode!!! HELPPPP! Owns a bounce house just for sex. - Actually that sounds like a fun time. - Wouldn't you have a good time.
I would actually enjoy that. I think you will really enjoy. I might get motion sickness but. Motion sickness. They can fly! You can just like strap yourself to them and then they'll be like wheeee. That's my ideal.
Like in anything right, Teleportation and flying is one of the key things I want in life. Having sex with them is the equivalent of 8 hours of sleep. OH MY GODDDD.
That's the most important! Sleep to him is so important. Don't cry, don't cry. Omg, omg. This is truly a mood in my life. I want this! Everything they touch literally turns to shit.
Noooooooo! My bouncy castle is now a shit castle. Ew. You're just bouncing around in feces. No, no, no, no. Mandon! Why did you destroy me! Doesn't know the difference between your and you're.
This one is a hundred percent no for me. Bye. That's disgusting. Dump this person. Keeps the severed heads of all their exes in a fancy glass display case. Oh no that's hard. That's damn weird.
Seeing your reaction to Zhin's one, With the poo poo, Seeing your reaction to Zhin's one, With the poo poo, They are having... Explosive diarrhea! In all directions you cannot avoid. So you got 8 hours of sleep but you f**king dirty. I think at the end of the day you might go with Brenda. - I think at the end of the day you might go with Brenda. - Can wear gloves. - Yeah! The gloves become shit.
No won't. - The gloves will become shit 'cause everything they touch turns to shit. - 'Cause there's no poo and no murder it's just... Dumb. Sorry Brenda is the winner. Yours is the most normal. He has read every romance novel, - And wants to roleplay all of them with you. - Omg!
And they are all super dirty! I love x4. On top of that, He will touch you in all the right places, And never needs to be corrected. - And never needs to be corrected. - Omg this is so ideal!
This is so perfect. She already imagining. She's closing her eyes all. Please don't kill Zhin. Please don't introduce poo to the equation.
I'm begging you. This person will be physically 18 forever. Ew! No! I hate young guys. No I want a bit like- A daddy? Yeah.
Like a Rainier type. Yes. Oh. Yes?
You choose, you choose. Loves butt stuff. I don't do butt stuff. Oh damnnn! Do you want a subby instead? Ew I hate subbys! I am a subby. Then you better listen when he say he want to do butt stuff.
Ok why did that turn me on. You will shit when you come. I told you not to introduce poo! I told you! That was my one request. I will just tell them when they're about to come, can you run to the toilet. Every inch of their body is tattoo-ed with d*cks. No.
Collects used tampons. That's weird. That's so foul. He jerk's off to pictures of your family.
Leave the Chengs alone. Congratulations Zhin. You are the lucky winner. - This is nasty. - My first win omg. This lady will have breasts that can lactate your favourite beer. - This lady will have breasts that can lactate your favourite beer. - Woah what the heck!
Omg! It's like- Brenda. Did you see that? Her shirt right, cannot be the normal one. Must have the- open the- Then after that- They grant you a wish every time you give them an orgasm.
- Omg. - You can wish for money. It's like a genie! - Wish for material goods - That's damn shiok. Maybe afterwards you're very tired and hungry, Then you wish for a bowl of ramen.
Sharts whenever they smile. They actively sleep with their siblings. Her nipples shoot fire every time you make eye contact. Imagine if you are in the cold of the Japanese winter.
Right? Yes! When you pounding then she has to like- Maybe pound from the back. Just use blindfold. Blindfold is a kink also.
Omg! We love a solution. She sells homemade pubic hair wigs. That's- That's entrepreneurship and we stan. She harvest your pubic hair.
He needs to get rid of them anyway. Every night when you're sleeping, Then she's down there gardening. Just after shower she go and like sweep. Oh nooo! I pick Renae just 'cause its a genie! Omg yes I don't need to eat Ferrero Rocher.
Yours look perfect. Mine is the cannot take out one. So is chocolate. - I think the two of y'all got the perfect ones. - Yes!
What's that? It's the brussel sprout. Is it nice? Not bad, not bad. Oh I also got the brussel sprout. Ew.
I'm okay. Vitamins and minerals. Do y'all eat by layers or whole? I will bite into cross sections and then lick the insides. How do you do it? Let me try. Thank you for watching this sexy and dirty episode of TSL Plays! You can leave in the comments down below what else you want us to play next. As always you can like, share, and subscribe, And ring the notification bell.
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