The honest truth about my business // Why is NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THIS?

The honest truth about my business // Why is NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THIS?

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so i've been uh trying to hit record for like three hours to record this video and i haven't been able to bring myself to do it until just now just worked up the guts to hit record pete here from do you even blog this is not going to be like my other videos on this youtube channel if you're looking for something upbeat with lots of cuts and edits talking about blogging or podcasting or making money on the internet go watch some of my other videos um if you're pressed for time and you have the patience to hear what i really want to talk about today uh leave the video right now i'm not gonna be talking about you i'm gonna be talking about me i this is one of those i talk about with them all the time what's in it for me well uh there's none of that in this video well i lie i want to talk about myself and quite frankly pain and depression when it comes to business but i think if you are out there trying to make money on the internet to better your life in some way one way or another hopefully hopefully you'll identify with at least some of this so i want to start by apologizing for the rain i don't know if you can see me well enough i don't know if you can hear me i'm actually just walking around my neighborhood with my gopro because it is raining i didn't want to use my good camera uh so let's start with the story right here last week or the week before i don't remember i watched this video from a guy named gerald undone if you're if you're like a youtuber youtuber and you're into like camera audio video gear etcetera you're probably seeing some of his stuff he's really good as one of my favorites that talk about av gear well he releases video called my love hate relationships with tech youtube and i love the way he shot it he didn't shoot it with his fancy pants lighting set up and his best camera angles and he didn't edit as much as he usually does it was very like low-key down to earth and part of that reason is he wanted to get outside of his comfort zone with the videos that he was making he was probably feeling a little burnt out i'm putting words in his mouth now these are my words actually i'm feeling burned burnt out i'm feeling burnt out with the business i'm currently running it's uh is that true i don't really know how to describe it i'm feeling depressed and i want to quit and i don't like the business i'm running yeah there i said it i don't really enjoy making videos for do even blog anymore i love marketing and blogging and talking about it and helping people set up funnels and systems that'll save their time and make money and all the above like i i still love that stuff i just don't like this business and doing it right now i'm just not motivated i just don't know about it what am i even trying to say like i don't even know okay i remember what i really wanted to say here by the way isn't this like the perfect weather for the topic of this video so i went to podcast movement in august of this year i went to fincon just a couple of weeks ago and don't get me wrong i think the people who do these events they did a great job putting it on during a pandemic and trying to keep everybody safe and healthy while you know trying to get back to normal and regardless of how you feel about that i do feel like the organizers of the events they deserve credit they did a good job that said i left miserable for fincon in fact i haven't told anybody this publicly yet but i spent the last two days of vidcon by myself like i didn't do i didn't go out to eat with people i had pizza by myself the last two days of fincon first time that's ever happened with me going to a conference by the way part of it was like actually none of it was me just needing introvert time almost all of it was like being around all these people that are working hard that are trying right they're trying to grow their business and grow their audience they're following it's exhausting and i felt like such an outsider at vincon i ended up eating pizza by myself the last two days so i've never been able i haven't been able to do anything that grows my business this is what i feel like i don't know if this is necessarily true do you even blog as a business has grown over the past four years it it has both from a follower perspective and from a monetization inspected but i continue to be disappointed with its growth and part of the reason is is because i haven't been the catalyst for growth at least i haven't been able to like replicate things that might find me some success and then i like ruin that or i lose it or i try something different um and new and of course that you know some things work out a little bit some things don't i haven't been able to like replicate success leverage for growth like i haven't been able to do it in four and a half years to even blog and i feel like a failure i feel like i'm not cut out for this not that i can't help people with blogging and marketing and making money on the internet because i honestly god believe i can i honestly know i can help people and i like helping people still but i don't like running do you even block i don't they already said it i don't think this will always be the case i'm not i don't think i could sell it really anyways because most of it is tied to this face right here but i just i don't have to do that i don't have to do this youtube channel i know to do with my podcast um which has been declining in numbers for two years my youtube channel hasn't grown in over a year by the way i mean like i still get views but it's not growing and it hasn't for over a year blog traffic forget about it man i haven't focused on the blog in over two years and so of course it hasn't grown i did do funnels last year they worked out i did grow my income but even that has been decreasing and decreasing the last several months because i've put less energy into it i stopped running facebook ads because the cost went up it got harder and i just didn't have it in me to like do that full time i just don't know what i'm doing i don't know i know what i want to do and it's not do you even blog yeah so i know i said this video isn't like for you to teach you something or help you with your own blog or business or whatever and it's not quite frankly but if i had to make a point that i want people to like walk away from it's probably that you're not alone in your lack of motivation and your lack of hope for your business to work out the way you want it to you're not alone and thinking that you don't have what it takes because i feel that right now with my own business and half on and off periodically for four years really i go through these cycles it gets better it gets worse or whatever but it's always there and for the past three months i've definitely been on the low end of this cycle so if you're feeling that anything like i'm feeling you're not alone now i did have one other thing i wanted to say in this video about the content i create so this has been um it's gonna say this has been the worst video i've ever done how how stupid is that um this has been the most different video i've ever done for this youtube channel it probably won't get that many views it's not gonna show up in youtube search results if you're even still watching this video i would count you in the one percent of people that follow me probably the one percent of the one percent it's not gonna do well i'm pretty sure i don't believe in myself to think that i have a following big enough for this type of video to really do well that's okay it's i don't i don't need it too but i want to do more content like this i want to say what i want to say i don't want to think about growth because it because i can't because it drives me insane because it gets me depressed and it makes me want to quit more when i start thinking about things i want to do for growth and need to do to grow my email list and grow people signing up for online impact for signing up for bmf those are the programs that i think are just so solid and they they feel so hard to sell right now when i think about selling those things like by the way online impact today is the 12th i don't know if you can see that or not it was supposed to launch next week and i haven't done any work for it i haven't promoted it as a launch i haven't done any pre-launch stuff i haven't i've done anything because i don't know what to do do i still want to do it do i still like i love the people but the thought of selling it makes me want to vomit just because i feel so just it just feels hard and i don't know that i have what it takes to do hard things right now which is stupid because i have by the way i want to take this opportunity just to get a little awkward and express how ridiculously privileged i am i uh i have a house i have a lovely family we're all healthy i grew up in the united states uh i'm a dude and i'm white like i i feel bad even making this video complaining about my life and my business where i get to by the way it's 10 42 a.m eastern time and i can do whatever i want right now i can go to the movies i can just watch netflix for the rest of the day i'm not going to do that that should actually sound fun to me either but i could like i'm ridiculously privileged right now and do even blog has been a large part of helping me do that i'm ridiculously spoiled i'm ridiculously privileged but yet like that it doesn't i'm still down i'm still depressed i'm still angry i'm still disappointed with the stuff that i've done and nothing has seemed to be working all that well for this business still i know i'm privileged but i still feel like in a lot of days on a lot of days yeah i have no idea where i was going with this hang on sorry all right so i'll uh i'll in the video with some ideas i'm i'll just share with you what i'm thinking in terms of what to do with my life and my business more specifically and or vocation i don't think i'm quite ready to go just quit doing a vlog and get like a full-time job in accounting or something like that i don't know if i'm really ready for that yet i do like the freedom that i've built up and i think i'm a little addicted to it now going back to a job seems like hell that seems terrible um but i have i have some i have some ideas maybe this will be helpful for you maybe not i don't know i'll just share with you uh number one i am starting work on side projects i've never allowed myself to do many side projects in the past four years because of focus right focus focus focus follow one course until successful well that's made me miserable um maybe i want to do side projects so i have a niche site and a niche youtube channel which i am stoked to work on let me just say that i'm actually going to announce that in a future youtube video here on this channel because i really want to i'm really excited about it uh i'm starting a niche site and i might even do more i might do three with the goal to get each of them to about a thousand dollars a month in revenue within like a year like that's my that's my goal it's like if i could get three niche sites to a thousand bucks a month in revenue that's aside from being fun and it seems like a fun challenge that would also this would be really awkward that'll be me proving to myself that i could do this work because i don't think i proved myself with this channel uh with with do you even blog i i hate being the guy who's like blogging about blogging but doesn't actually blog who is online my entire online business is about online business but yet i don't have a six figure seven figure online business i might actually have six figures this year by the way um right around that mark but it's not like some crazy successful expert who is like the leading authority in the leading voice or whatever my goal my goal is to figure out if i can do this and if i can't if i can't get a niche site to a thousand dollars a month in a year it's not that i'm not any good per se but i know that i need to go look for a job like i need to do a vocation change in my opinion so yay niche site uh this youtube channel i'm so stoked about i that work excites me the topics excite me i can focus on that and be like really happy for the next several months so i'm gonna be announcing that soon on this youtube channel by the way i'm in my shed this is like my teeny tiny where i you know store bikes and junk just letting you know i was like trying to get out of the rain for a second um that is this is like one option for what to do in my life what to do my work what to do in my business is to focus more on the side projects which is currently the plan another option which i might do both of is to do more videos like this not this specific subject but less formal less fancy less editing and quite frankly on topics that i care about this is like my big thing i am i'm sick and tired feeling sick and tired it's from a movie i'm sick and tired of looking at content for this youtube channel or otherwise that i'm not excited to produce like a real like just for growth for seo and for youtube algorithms and stuff like that like i'm i look at those videos now this has been a slow decline over the past three months and i'm just like don't know if i have it in my god i don't want to do this more than ever before in the past four years i do even blog i feel like i don't want to do that stuff i still have content i'm going back on the ring i still have content that i want to produce but i haven't let myself do it because it's going to be a little bit more like this again not the subject but like the style and less sexy topics and not keyword based and stuff like that like that's the stuff i've sucked at allowing myself to do and produce because i know it won't make me grow as fast or at least that's what i think i actually have no idea right it's possible that these types of videos uh will make me grow faster we'll gain more trust with a bigger audience quicker it's totally possible but it's definitely not the you know digital marketing crap that's shoved down our throats like you need traffic and you do facebook ads you have slow funnel you need to like do high ticket offers and i'm tired of it i'm tired of all that i really am so option two here for how to like pull myself out of this funk and or transform this business or something would be to really just give myself forgive myself and give myself the freedom to produce the content i want and to honestly not even like just the content but like the products and offers and services like to do the business i want which by the way is online impact bmf and making youtube videos that's what i want to do i don't want to do another podcast i think i'm really good at interviewing people on podcasts i don't want to do it i don't want to publish it i don't want to hire team i'm scared to hire somebody right now with my like revenues and expenses for the business like i'm terrified of hiring anybody i'd love to run the business i want i don't know if it's possible or sustainable i don't know if it's gonna work at all it might be a really sharp decline but at this point on my journey it's almost like it's not that it can't go lower but it's like from a mental health perspective and burnout and business depression perspective i can't go lower like something needs to change so those are like the two ideas floating in my head the third idea would be to quit by the way and say f this i love you guys thank you for following me for the past four years but i'm out i'm gonna go get a super boring job that pays me a hundred thousand dollars a year i am going to save for financial independence like hardcore and my family i would go like the fire route and you'll probably never hear from me again i'll do even blood that's that's the third option which i don't want to do i like my current lifestyle i like helping people i love the people and audience purdue even blog my people in online impact like i genuinely love them and i know i can help them and serve them but it's just the rest of this that i don't want to do anymore okay you know this is turned into a really long video then i'm gonna give myself permission to finish like this even though at this point i'm like i don't even know if i'm gonna publish this um so i think i'm gonna stop now there's no there's a call to action on this video for sure you're welcome to like comment and subscribe or keep watching my youtube videos or whatever but let's be honest this video isn't really set up for that instead i want to thank you if you're watching this far into this video you're ridiculous and you're like my one percent of one percent of followers i want to thank you first and foremost for watching this i really do mean that second i want you if you if you're excited about me talking about the niche site and niche youtube channel i'm excited to do it i think it might actually be really cool content and quite frankly easy content for me to keep publishing on this channel if you want to see niche site niche youtube channel related stuff here um good god please let me know if you don't let me know and i don't see any comments and any emails i'm not gonna publish it like i think i'm done um but it would be easy and i'm already gonna be working on anyways so if you wanna hear that stuff just let me know that's all i ask and uh the only other thing i'll ask is that you you think deeply about what you want if i had to turn this back around to a conversation about you and your business i would encourage you to take a step back every now and then i don't do this enough take a step back whether it's meditation or journaling or something intentional time away from the day-to-day stuff to really revisit the the vision right the the overall like what do you want out of your online business or your blog or like whatever that is i don't do this nearly enough i think i might be in a different this would have been a very different youtube video if i were better about taking the time to do that so that's my that's my tip it's my hashtag ending this youtube video we should take some time to yourself to revisit your vision and what you want out of business i think that'll help all right let me know if you want to see stuff related to the new site and it's youtube channel on this channel thank you for being a follower and good luck bye

2021-10-14 19:29

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