YOU AIN'T WRONG PODCAST EP1 - OUTGROWING FRIENDS
let's talk about friends friends friends that's good why you being weird why you being worried they don't love themselves enough to be a great friend for you and that's honestly what it was breaking up with a friend is harder than going through a breakup hello you guys and welcome back to another episode of you ain't wrong and honestly it's obviously the revamp you feel me because y'all see this y'all see it do they see it they see it but yeah so today we are definitely back we are definitely in a new era of you ain't wrong podcast we still want to keep the core values but just keep it a little bit more pg honestly it was a tight ratchet yeah i was going to do it a little bit different this time same core values so today we have the lovely layla so what's your instagram handle it's xo dot b-a-e-y-l-a period make sure you go add her on instagram you know go go ahead go ahead don't be shy subscribe to my channel it's gonna be right there and then we want to make sure everybody who's tuned in make sure you subscribe to our channel at the leaves because don't y'all want to support us we're not funny enough for y'all just saying that we're not gonna i'll just wait okay so we're gonna go ahead and get into today's topic which is we're gonna let layla choose okay so whichever one she comes off with and only is what we're gonna go with we're gonna talk about let's talk about friends friends friends let's talk about outgrowing friends out growing our growing friends that's deep and you know today is a whole new year at the end of the day so we're really just pushing into like i know and it's terrible because i don't feel like the the start of the year when you should stop dealing with bull crap i've been today that's like you should cut it off when you see it but sometimes it takes like a new year just like i'm doing the same thing i'm in the same motions this person is kind of like distracting me or becoming like more so of a uh what do they call it um distraction you know how there's how there's asset oh more so like a liability than an asset so child play for me you definitely like just want to like sing a lot of people in your life sometimes people's only meant for a season you know what i'm saying and be okay with that so what have your most noticeable moment of outgrowing a friend what has that um played out to be honestly i've been through a lot we are the same age but we've been through different things of course um but with friends yeah let me be honest breaking up with a friend is harder than going through a breakup what am i supposed to do every morning what who won't call me what i'm doing my makeup you know what i'm saying it's real tough so that that that takes a toll on you for real for real um definitely been through a lot with friends i've definitely let myself out more with friends than i have with somebody that i'm significant with um so that yeah yeah it's not good but you have to in my opinion like you have to honestly realize some people aren't they don't love themselves enough to be a great friend for you and that's honestly what it boils down to and i'm not saying i've been through that i had recent talks with a friend it was like oh he was a bad friend but then i was like honestly and i had to say they weren't going to say it to me but i said i didn't love myself enough to give enough to friendship a relationship like i was going too much personally in my own thoughts i was growing a lot at that moment and i had to take a step back and my step back just was like i wasn't being a good friend so that's what happened and you realize that for real yeah and it takes a lot to realize that you have to learn to love yourself and then your relationships around you is going to become so much better at the end of the day once you set those boundaries some people's okay with boundaries i would never come over your house at certain times i would never require anything from you as a friend i would just take you as a friend those people that come with too many requirements like you need a mom and a dad and a [ __ ] like especially with females like i see a lot of females these days like they like the attention from meals or like the attention from family so they look for that with their friends and that's not fair on the friends at the end of the day that's a lot of pressure it takes a lot we're not dealing with that so my recent experience with um one of my friends where i said i outgrew honestly let me tell people like when you meet me like i'm a forever friend like i literally like i grow at the same time but the core values stay the same like even when i was going through a little period where i feel like while i look back on it and i noticed like i didn't love myself i feel like you guys are saying i was the best friend that i could be but um a recent experience um that's love let me cut you off one second yes love that's self yes and you gotta step back into like loving yourself even though like tauruses we do a lot for other people remind you we both tourists gang and we are like we do a lot for other people we put other people emotions and stuff before ours like we necessarily be having a great day and you call us with a conversation knowing this is probably like going to death in our day a little bit we still going to do with it and we're still going to try to be there for you but empathy really we're very empathetic right yeah so um the experience with taught me like i'll grow a friend in my job i've been friends with the friends i have for years like not even years i would say almost a decade probably over there so at the end of the day like one of my friends the longest friend that i had she called me and she had a conversation and mind you i just had um a situation where i like that situation but i moved from michigan to here and it was like our lives has always been on two different paths but i was just too young to notice that the day we really didn't have that much in common we really didn't have the same goals we really i feel like honestly like i just feel like it was a one-sided friendship like i was always there for when you when you needed me to be but whenever i need you it's very much unavailable but i just kept holding on to you just because she was like my um my oldest friend but it was very much one-sided as i grow to love myself i love myself now i realized that and she called me and she basically told me she didn't like the person that i became i'm still the same person so it's so crazy because you're the only person that say that you know me for the longest but at the end after that i could i could not let a person who don't understand the mental state that i was in like noticing your friend's emotional state yeah normalize that because okay that's a whole different topic like yeah she just came for me and she was just like i don't like the person you became i don't like the new people that you're hanging around i'm like you don't even know these people you're looking at it from a just standpoint and that's so work that you have to do and i can understand that because i was there but i'm not there now so i'm not going to entertain this conversation because if you don't like me and at the end after we were supposed to go to um cheetahs and just have dinner so i'm like i'm busy and i took time out to and give or take like something traumatic did happen to her and i was unable to be there for her but if you know me like you would be like oh okay she if she could've she wouldn't you know so we're all adults we all have ideal problems these bills is terrible so i think that i couldn't be there and i think that she should just accept that and then try to um knock down my growth because that's all i was talking to um somebody about i'm just like i work so like cozy we just talk about that we're definitely going to do an episode about covey but even with kobe like that had me like in a depressed state of mind kind of do you feel the same like that should have been kind of like depressed so like just by staying in the house and just like whatever is the case with that but it's like it kind of had me in the state of mind i was so like outside of myself and for me to when the world opened back up well atlanta never closed when the world opened back up it was just like okay now i'm in this mood and i gotta get out of it it was a lot of stuff work i had to do behind the scenes within myself no social media no post no let down lighting that type of person like i barely know how to work instagram so no i'm not even that type of person so it was just like for me to do so much self work and become proud of myself and for my longest friend calling me [ __ ] on me like bro when when i loved you i wasn't happy with myself i wasn't happy with my surroundings i wasn't happy with [ __ ] so for us to connect at that point and for me to do my ground work for me and you not like it saying i become a different person when every time i talk to somebody else they'll be like oh you said it you always you saying you know saying it was just like that's coming from somewhere else and that's a lot to do with her and not with me that's just how i feel yeah so what is your recent experience that you went through um well you know about my friend not gonna say no names you know what i'm saying her next star wars i've just let a lot of my life out on her right so it's so much things she knows about me so many things she just was able to get from me because i valued her as a friend somebody who i really genuinely trusted and trust is a big thing we talked about this earlier yeah um for the new year i really want to go into a place where i fully trust somebody until you give me a reason not to trust you at this point um but with her she just took advantage of the things that i allowed myself to let her you know i'm saying like i just gave this to you i let you know what it is i allowed you to manipulate really manipulation is a big thing you got to understand what manipulation is and we allow friends to do that yeah you think your relationship when it comes to a significant other is the manipulation sometimes but no with friendships that comes too and the show i would pray and hope she doesn't because i would never let out her secrets you know what i'm saying i would never allow the times that we've been through a dark stage we've been to good times whatever the case may be i would never come out with those things there's so many things that's happened between us that she told to other people yeah who i never thought the person i trusted the most i would never think i would think you would take it to your grave you know what i'm saying but you told somebody and then you twisted it that's yeah that's my problem when you twist some [ __ ] when you when you is if i did what i didn't tell exactly right exactly what i said because no it'd be on the phone three-way baby girl we gonna get the [ __ ] out the way i'm i have no problem saying what i had to say but yeah don't twist what i said to make it seem good for you yeah you're making yourself seem like a good person or a person who's everybody always going to highlight themselves that's why i like people i'm sorry people be like but honestly you like you to open youtube let me tell you i don't like being woken up um a little crazy with [ __ ] i might not give a [ __ ] about them two weeks from now but it is what it is i'll be loving them for two weeks let me love my [ __ ] for two weeks and i'm gonna be over it you know what i'm saying like just let me be me and but i want to say we are what we attract that thing today that's the [ __ ] up part about it so and i think we might have a lot through stuff like that we have to go through moments where we realize okay this person is not a good person for me and i thought they were so good for me but the growing me is not good and it takes a long time it could take a long time it could take a short time or a long time and you know what i'm saying like it's just you just gotta find your place for it but yeah it is what it is people go you know me too yeah me too where are you going you don't let me know more like just say that like but why you being weird why you being more like that so no well i think that's just the goodness like just wanting friendships to stick and stuff like that but honestly some people is not meant to be your friend honestly meant to teach you a lesson yeah and what you want well i think knowing what you want other people is so great even on a relationship if you go into it like blind side and not knowing what he should do to make you feel good or like what type of support he should offer you as his girlfriend not even speaking monetarily just like maybe like emotional or like physical support back in the day you got to know what you wanted for friendship and that's why i said i'm gonna i'm gonna lie man lily we've been friends for like how long four years now yeah yeah three or two two gotta be two hold on i met in 2019 is it three i don't know damn whatever twenty nine i was terrible i was talking to my friends from back at home that i've been friends with for maybe like 15 years and i was just like we took for granted the friendship that we had because so many females come with so many like they honestly push their insecurities off on their friends and sometimes that takes a toll on you it takes too long it does which i shouldn't have told you beautiful every day that's your [ __ ] job um a [ __ ] the [ __ ] what is it a monetary because no that's what's in that like you step out and pop out you feel me like yeah be too cute but you should know that and you should be getting like that's not a french job yeah uh trying to bring up or more of a support not support because i'm gonna support you but more like trying to feel like you're saying yeah yeah i don't i don't have to feel you i shouldn't have to make you feel secure yeah wow that's not my job i'm gonna i did you know being your friend at the end of the day right as your friend you're already secure [ __ ] don't come like that these days i don't know what is it about like and that's why i sat on one or more friends people come with so much stuff and it's just like females like i honestly know like a female but i gotta look at this situation like even though i was telling my friend on the phone just because i was just like uh girl trying to cuss her out on live and i'm just like you know how would they have easily dismissed that like she does hair so she's just like trying to pinpoint her out as the bad people but sometimes people look at you like oh you're the golden child you're always happy you bring light to like every room and i know the effect i know the [ __ ] effect i love the effect so i sent it a day it's just like but if you envy that secretly and just trying to get to know me to find out more areas that i haven't need to make yourself feel better i'm not [ __ ] with that neither everybody is different after that you never want to be that person that's just like make the situation fun because [ __ ] people don't use you for fun we're going to use you when you get to those points you ain't gonna have nobody but they're gonna call you they're gonna make sure they call your phone and make sure you be like oh i'm having a terrible day they don't lay everything on that on you but you can't i literally so you got to know what comes with being at that person forever so we are we are very much people pleasers i will say that people say that to me and i'll be like but it's yeah we are because we love kids we care so much you know what i'm saying like i said we are very empathetic yeah anything you tell me i'm gonna cry baby just let it out you know cry baby cry baby but we care so much and a lot of people pretend to not care you know what i'm saying you shy we're tend to care no like you try to portray a caring characteristic but you're not caring yeah don't do that it's okay and i'm clear on [ __ ] i don't give a [ __ ] about because it's like yo you fighting with your [ __ ] like yo he's okay your bill's still paid i really don't give a [ __ ] afternoon you gonna [ __ ] with him regardless regardless i mean i'm not about to say something to because don't talk about my [ __ ] that part i want you to join in to me so i literally treat people i want to be treated don't talk about my [ __ ] he might be broke he might be walking might be rich and he might have a wife mind your [ __ ] business that's it that's it you support me if i gotta lean i'll be doing that y'all yeah yeah i don't be doing that but it's just like the simple fact like you just want to mind your business like when you that's why i said when you got this [ __ ] going on as a friend say friends you got a job you got [ __ ] you got friends you and i don't think no friendship so when people don't have a life they kind of like have the time to sit back and analyze people and figure out what's wrong with them because they feel like why do people love this person why can't you talk to this person so they literally be trying to tear you down i notice the signs now and that's why i want y'all to know this as well notice when somebody is being a terrible friend just because somebody is available to you sometimes you be a shoulder to cry on but at the end of the day they you crying on their shoulder it's giving them ammo against you for one and for two they might view you they may view you as a person that is a threat or why you so happy or why he treats you like this or why everybody love you they just looking for reasons to stop [ __ ] with you literally you have to notice that too as well i feel like that's important so that comes with self-love yeah you gotta notice that because ain't nobody gonna sit there and that's why i said it's a difference like um i'll talk to my friends um and it was like it's a difference from me telling you something i'm gonna tell you something out of pure love my [ __ ] if i have no game no i don't have no reason to tell you this i'm not getting any money it's not paying my bills um it's not making me happy to have this conversation and i don't necessarily want to have this conversation with you but i'm gonna have it because i care about you and i care about your growth at the end of the day any friend who's gonna let you sit there and be stagnant in your life i don't think you shot them around i know i don't think you should accept people treating you like trash like you gotta notice the difference like you gotta observe the person like people who are too involved in other people like i think you should just let them go set your boundaries yeah boundaries is so important like who who are you to tell me that my time is not valuable who are you not you just popping up thinking that have time you think i'm not busy i am busy but i make time you know what i'm saying you're going to do what you want yeah you you exactly but don't step boundaries boundaries is a very very big deal yeah so so what advice would you give to people outgrowing friends um be okay with it honestly it hurts yeah hurts hurts a lot yeah yeah it's it hurts it's gonna it's gonna hurt my body body feeling different so different things like that so be okay you wanna be okay yeah you know know that you're gonna be okay and just let it go honestly if it's really a true friendship where it's bound to really work it's going to come back yeah regardless we've been through some [ __ ] you know what i'm saying um it's it's not it's not that serious it was a lot of people involved in our [ __ ] too i i will say that yeah yeah yeah so but we're here now yeah and i'm saying so but you're gonna be through a lot of [ __ ] and it's gonna your problems gonna be this much or more and friends let me tell you something about a friend and my definition a friend is supposed to like lightening your load like i'm not talking about like i stay away from my friends in a relationship but if a friend ever like just need like like your [ __ ] is supposed to be your piece but sometimes he's not i'm your friend come watch movies drink wine do whatever whatever that makes you happy like you can go through it after they just to make you feel better so don't friends will be [ __ ] on you when you your lowest they're not your friend then it's not your friends like or even feel like they can call you like even a case of mine like i did so much ground work this summer to get up out of that and then for you to call me you haven't talked to me you talked to me twice this year and feel like you had an opinion to say about me i wasn't having it you need to cuss people the [ __ ] out now i'm not saying like yeah cause she should never feel comfortable calling me telling me that because if you would have been like if i'm so irreplaceable then why are you saying stuff like that to me it's it's that it says that behind what's going on in your head and i'm thinking we're thinking we are thinking we are thinking two different totally ways different you guys are saying because i should be there for you as a friend just like love you as a person and enjoy our time we spend together and whatever ideas we come up with i should just [ __ ] with it like because it should be generic like generically us but you thinking everything as a competition that's where the thing is getting [ __ ] up at and the competition with me you're gonna lose because god because god is going to be on my side regardless you know what i'm saying so it don't even matter like and i was going to be on the good side you're not in competition with nobody sweetie you're in competition with yourself and as long as you keep growing and as long as you got as long as you're like going up a ladder like nothing else should bother you it don't matter it don't matter how much next money the person got i don't care about their pockets we really don't that's so crazy it's so crazy because we don't we don't give a [ __ ] about that like that's cool like if you don't have it i have it they having a quinceanera just grow even if that means i'll grow some people it's gonna hurt that hurt me that was my longest friend that i ever had but i still have to let you go to because you're you are you don't serve purpose in my life honestly and at all you just want to call me and offend me when i work so hard that's like we work so hard for something somebody has the audacity to what would you say to a person who's outgrown a friend um i hope you have found true love within yourself i know and i believe that you have grown within yourself as well um you are strong you are going to be strong if you haven't gotten there yet live honestly love and don't put your trust issues on other people period and what the [ __ ] i would say is that don't take nobody's [ __ ] once you get that tough thick skin to grow a bottle a lot of [ __ ] you don't have to overcome in this world don't let nobody tell you down don't let nobody tell you what's right for you what's wrong for me because at the end of the day i know what my true friends what are they [ __ ] up i'm rocking with it or if i'm not i'm gonna i'm gonna let them do them and let them live their life i'm not gonna say nothing i said my my thing with my friends my friends are doing a situation i thought as long as it's not um [ __ ] with your goals your money or your household or the way you take care of your kids i have nothing to say about it that's just it don't feel like i'm not gonna accept somebody i could be dealing with the with the with the with the dumb ass [ __ ] mind your [ __ ] business [ __ ] when you see um later on bills i'm lit on this so i can't do this you like okay so you're working you give it like no like no have problems like this overcoming that [ __ ] somebody told me you're not supposed to meet your real friends into your 30s at the end of the day but i definitely just want to say like if you just picture like if you do on the front and you don't think they're going to be around in like a couple years like don't don't don't hold off stuff for them that's where i am in life like i'm definitely like going on a schedule with myself and with everything that i want to do and i'm not letting nobody disrupt that we just made planners yes just made planners just all our goals even if they start off small and sometimes be around friends who's got margo or is oriented being around prince is more goal-oriented like just do that like you literally like be like oh there's a feather flock together and then i'm just like no i don't because my friend could be oh i ain't got to be in a hole yeah you do um sorry i meant that yeah you know but like yeah so you definitely become the people you hang around with so make sure you're just like grouping yourself around certain individuals like and that's important too like even if you see something in somebody else you don't see in yourself definitely just admire it and grow from it and don't learn to envy it so that would be my advice to somebody dealing with a bad friend or even if you outgrow somebody that's perfectly fine like people sometimes just meant to teach you something you know what i'm saying you learned something from everybody that you're in a situation with whether it's a relationship or friendship or anything like that so just learn from every situation you've been in and if somebody is proven not meant to be good for you or not meant to be good for your mental state you may be growing them it could be declining at the end of the day it's not that you're not there for them don't think you're not there for them just notice y'all at two different points in life and i can't be trying to raise my mental frequency up here every day every morning and you consistently think about something to bring your day down you go so just focus on that that will be my advice so you guys say that no girl it is what it is though period let that [ __ ] ride for real um be you be true to yourself find yourself and be truthful that's important because you might be true to a fake person and you attracting those same things so ah we all haven't been through it so don't there's no need to be like embarrassed about it or whatever the case is and some people like it's only some people who you at your lowest point you still have those same peoples around that's great but they have to be um okay with you changing and becoming a better person the better person that you want to be at the end of the day so i feel like that's valuable as well so during this little segment we're just gonna hit y'all off with like a quick little podcast so we feel like we didn't give you guys a little bit of background about ourselves and like what we went through and how to change it so just for guidance for whoever out there and don't have guidance within friends we definitely want to bring that into this new era of you and wrong podcast and i always say like you ain't wrong you know because at the end of the day you lived your life you felt how you felt and you are finding ways to conquer those things and nobody can tell you you're wrong just because of the simple fact they haven't been through what you've been through so if you think of something a situation different you're still not wrong because life has taught you to think of it a certain way and you want to trust in god and not in the people around you they could be demons okay so at the end of the day he showed you what you wanted he wanted you to learn so go buy that don't go by nobody else and that's all here go ahead make sure you follow layla at xo dot b-a-e-y-l-a and make sure you follow me my instagram handle is kia kia the kia kia oh make sure you guys you
2022-01-11 22:07
