PS2 Tony Hawk was VERY weird
so I definitely shouldn't be skating in the real world which is why as a kid I used to play Tony Hawk Underground 2 a lot it's a really really unique game and I want to show you why oh and this is very important for later you'll see why okay first step make me my skater with state of the art face mapping technology wow pretty good so far but I think that's even better now that I've matched everything up ah much better without the hat that actually looks exactly like me yeah man I got my game face on yep you sure do oh my God this profile's even more scary oh my God no they're all cheering for him they're like yes please just stay up there don't come back down oh now we smacked into a van they're gonna think like oh my God we've destroyed his face but no I was chasing packed Vans long before you guys showed up so this part confused the bejesus out of me because I never really watched jackass and such so I did not understand what was happening fellas this is the first moment I was like oh okay it's it's Tony Hawk everyone like still under the impression it's a hostage situation and they just happily go along with this because we're going on a world tour causing havoc and the captain of my team will be oh no I also didn't understand that like I didn't know it was his family or anything I was just like oh as well as this joke kidnapping they've actually done a real one oh yeah oh my God my guys eyes are so off I say it's choosing time hmm do I want the noob oh my God look at the sad eyes holy wheels of Fury rise honestly I would pick Ryan he is cool so it's weird we're doing this whole world tour and we gotta do skating challenges to beat the other team but I feel like they're just laughing at us not with us because Tony Hawk's just here tapping on his clipboard he's not getting any points like that hey oh my God they're not gonna give me controller controls they're just gonna say kp2 some health school in this kid stop trying to give me a tutorial disembodied voice he was talking to me this is great I'm getting loads of Serotonin here I'm just getting stat increased every time I do anything oh it stopped watch it freak what he called me a freak like I know it's true but that doesn't mean it's right you ready to get started yeah why not just kind of shakingly went along on my board and we're already hitting the road it's time to get points for my team find the special guest find Ben Franklin Mark your territory house hospital duty at Cape machine high score dance decapitate statues and combo on the RV ramp and then you get to pick a teammate as well I'm going to pick a disembodied voice does that get us points okay so I think my First Act oh my God is to kidnap a child like I want to take from their example a big jump but you didn't really make any effort to protect him that means he's mine goodbye come on kid oh God all right I lost him but luckily after that crash I know where he's gonna be back at the hospital oh Jesus Christ the poor kid oh Jesus Christ nearly ran him into traffic don't worry Tony I'm bringing him these terminals so you better help him ah I think I'll go skate that's much better he's ready to skate now even though Tony Hawk hasn't spoken to him at all he's just obsessed with that clipboard and I'm right next to him and he's texting me you banked your first points stole a kid that's gotta be worth at least 50. oh yes it's 50. boy a nice fish yeah why don't you run downstairs and give you a drink yeah you sound capable of more let me go get you some the special guest look at him just vibrating I wish they added that into the sound like how's this sound I've been dying to okay so that means I can play it as this fella and he gets some extra goals he gotta jump some cars racing uh what was his name this thing is absolutely not how did I land that like oh my God where am I now this guy's my hero he can do anything oh my God destroying the city with this guy alone he's not even on our team he's just going on a [ __ ] rampage you want to drive inside let me in oh no he's fine oh I saw Benjamin Franklin excellent my favorite skateboarder I'll invent a move called the Franklin excellent now you just stay there vibrating and Benjamin Franklin is gonna do some missions for us now oh he's not as uh indestructible he's just some poor old man who's gotten wrapped up in this oh I forgot you could make them angry I'm having my own little Boston Tea Party out here oh and now I'm having a Boston sea party oh Jesus Christ how many hips is this guy gonna have after this he's gonna need replacements for his Replacements good Lord all right are you ready for it Benjamin the big jump oh God oh God he's okay smokes don't worry he's a professional oh God yeah professional they're falling oh Jesus oh Jesus Christ what the um just leave you two to it oh he's athletic oh I'm trying to make it into that window because I see a kid in there like not in a weird way I just I think I remember this yeah the Star Wars kid wow it was all worth it I broke every bone in my body but look at him go folks this would inspire you to found a country wouldn't it Benjamin not Benjamin is just looking at us the lights are on but no one is home so what is this it's it's Dancing Yeah Benjamin can pull this off oh it gives me a list of stuff I need to do okay kickflip oh wait you need to do it on beat oh this is awful oh I'll get some air oh I didn't get any air oh god oh kickflip I thought you said life-altering injuries wait I think you can set off these cannons if I remember correctly I need to catch my board on fire or my person on fire one or the other all right I'm burnt to it Chris my board is on fire there we go that's one Cannon I don't even know what this is going to do so so far I've kidnapped a child and committed a terrorist attack it's got to get you a lot of points there we go yeah World Tour everyone they're like whoa whoa whoa Benjamin we meant like do some sick tricks maybe piss off some cops not cause a national incident it didn't even get any points what you want to talk to Benjamin oh sorry Benjamin's angry oh the subway I'm Gonna Knock civilians onto the railway Lions wait you're the guy from Mythbusters wow you're all dense that's all I got I think I need to get a certain amount of points out on the boat that'll get me something yeah combo on the high seas was that what I wanted I should really start viewing them and stop just guessing Okay this should be a nice easy one to do to just do the score never mind I can't even get to the machine score to beat seven and a half thousand I have done it wait Can it can I not just end it now end current run ABC yeah I don't want credit for that that was pathetic excellent 50 points for that that was the lamest thing ever and then bam texted me what do you get when you blast a fire hose at a bunch of drums through an electric fence a hundred points but my Lane performance there just gave me 50. I think Tony Hawk is showing favorites or perhaps he fears me okay let's try this little competition wait race him to the church step where oh wait that was where I was doing that menacing face I mean that doesn't really clarify anything he's always doing your menacing face oh my God I was about to say this is too easy and then he just flew Beyond me rematch two out of three oh I'm three out of five I missed the checkpoint and of course by that I mean the first time I win is is the real goal the others were warm-ups oh he was t-posing there I thought he finally got tired of vibrating at least the guy over there did oh my God they're all T posing oh and now he fell down that wasn't my fault oh I forgot I even had the pro I've been over here using Benjamin Franklin meanwhile I have a pro skater on my side and my defense I can't see very well oh for God's sake the cannon grind and sketch a seaworthy vehicle oh nice T posing he's continuing to do it that was it okay Benjamin Franklin did it way better honestly oh one of these things aha I just gotta find four more it's starting to land a combo Wild on fire okay this is easy I'll just do a load of this spamage nobody even knows what I'm doing but uh let me put my head near the fire here can you smell what Chad Muska is cooking it's chadwaska there we go easy Great Balls of Fire okay so now I think I gotta go up there yeah I gotta get up on that construction site look at its open mouth he's Amazed by this world it reminds me of like a South Park character with a big smile alright well maybe the great attack of Benjamin Franklin might actually help me not that I wanted him to do it you know it's just a coincidence oh wait wait wait wait I got an idea wait actually you're already damaged goods you do the trick all right I probably should use the pro because he's just not fast enough all right I might be damaged but I have no skills it's all up to you oh God okay I ended up here is there any way I can climb this oh yes Chad must get defy gravity be the Spider-Man you've always wanted to be I fell down how the hell do I get up there I can't just climb that ladder can I oh my God okay Chad Muska fears nothing there we go I hope you're a good artist wow sketches seaworthy vehicle I think I just need to like hang on to the back of a vehicle for that and I'm assuming by seaworthy it means oh wait are those apples oh good keep the doctor away stay back doctor stay back all of you doctors all right anyway back to what I was doing there we go this should be easy I'm even gonna like I ran out of ammo never mind yay all right I'm flying through goals I think I actually have enough points to move on now oh my God what the hell was that I just did the Franklin grind I summoned power from God Bam's team have no chance if God is on my side since God is on my side I guess I can just like destroy the statues here and I won't have any legal problems right I mean who am I kidding Benjamin Franklin brought down a building we definitely have plot armor there we go that's the head of one Statue gone where are the others come on tell me all right to the apples for all of you die are you a statue no he was not that was just a regular human man Jesus Christ I broke every law of physics just to break myself where the hell did I leave Benjamin oh he's up there t-posing I couldn't see him because of the draw distance I got a job for you Benjamin and I hope you haven't had too much trauma to do it hey you oh I did it I saluted the general whatever that means I had to do a Benjamin over it which honestly if I didn't know it was actually a move I just assume it meant face planting all right you know what Tony I've done enough damage I'm on your team now by the way my name is Benjamin Franklin let's go the first stage of the competition is over and leading by 50 points is yeah he's like the Dumbledore of Tony Hawk he's just like my favorite team gets an extra 50 points for God knows what reason oh wait hold on their MVP is dumping someone in a porta potty into the water that's local that's a hundred Point Slackers and that's a win for us wait that's on the list Jesus Christ how long is that list no wonder he's always writing on it the list is gonna be bigger than the [ __ ] Bible alright so we get punished and we have our beautiful assistant here to spin the wheel for us got one loose that means one of us is going home oh no look at the shark on my face I mean I think it's shock oh Jesus Christ This is how they picked please oh in hindsight it probably should have been me I should not be allowed to reproduce look at him just sitting on the ground having the time of his life que pasa welcome to Spain Espana free the bullfighter find the special guests hit five heads of tomatoes everything is bull so far help like okay great unless he lost his leg to a bull then it's something not to do with balls I'm gonna pick Mike barely because his speed is really good and he can also run really fast which is great our team loves to flee what is your plan here get some tomatoes and help me out okay can I argue with that logic one moment ah El Nino all right here we go let's hope this works one throw one tomato got them all riled up oh sweet Jesus okay launch a local that's 50 points right there flip a table 70 points knock down a national art piece Four Points cause a character crash seven million points attack on Miami topple the chimney stack yeah half a point I suppose I don't know I'll have to check the list but either way I'm here for 30 seconds and I've destroyed Barcelona I should probably yeah there we go talk to the pros on my team who's he wave me to Usher he doesn't have eyes let's not talk about that but yeah I may as well try and unlock all the goals because at least then if I do them by accident or show up in the area I can just do them as I go oh Jesus Christ okay I didn't even mean to come in here but I found you hey you found me shopping cart shopping cart bam my balls red yeah wow he looks so full of life he looks almost as dead inside as my guy the bull runs by him and he doesn't even mind ah sweet Jesus this is even more bizarre than the last guy unfortunately Stevo can actually fall off his tattoo looks absolutely demented in this maybe I should get my character a silk portrait on his back alright and we have the Matador what the hell is going on there in the background oh okay I think he was in position like ready to ride the bull that Stevo was riding oh wait here's where peg leg is I don't know how to save him pull my ball you can defy gravity it's pretty bull I think if I get out onto this oh not the water my poor bull at least it's an all-terrain vehicle I suppose it made it out there we go I'm about to save you big leg there you go and the bridge is fixed oh I did it the whole thing don't touch the ground 223 000 points like not for the the overall competition otherwise say that's just an insta win but I mean like trick points look at my guy over there just hoping he's getting to play he's holding his hand up like I'm ready but nobody wants him what Jesus Christ okay well I got a goal I'm accidentally really good at this game from Stevo to Stevo guess what Steve will just joined the party all right great message Stevo you're like Mr Bean sending a letter to himself okay I think next I need to do like a big ramp off the rooftop and do like a grab trick which seems totally safe on this thing excellent yes I'm into Orvis and he didn't land it but don't worry he just scratch his head a bit get back on the ball and let's do it again all right this time I'll be safe oh my God like what's even out there yes I landed it did it what oh and then asked to drop into a quarter pipe I don't know how to do that I figured it out okay I actually decided you know what let's learn how to do this rather than just ignore it because I'm guessing this is gonna be important for later ah I got hit by a bull oh I'm pulling it off I think no I didn't I was going straight and then he just turned to look at the camera because he wanted the Limelight the absolute diva okay yes finally I got it that was hard oh who's texting me now if it's from himself again I'm gonna be pissed off I heard that someone got 100 points for using a leaf blower to rocket launch Phil's crusty Underpants into the face of some Spaniards oh yeah that was me hat you suck well here comes the chain of meanness because I am about to take out my anger on random civilians there we go that's two out of five there's another one there's another one there's another one God I love Spain what what was that how did I get another one I did a ramp on some [ __ ] and got some [ __ ] points launch off a pile of bulldog and perform a grab trick okay it just came naturally to me whenever I see Bulldog I just can't help it find a way to light your board on fire and then find a bird to make a phoenix what okay I need fire fire oh fire whoop yeah all right now I just need to launch and I think I can launch here excellent fantastic work look at him die they're like oh yeah you burnt a pigeon alive 50 points cares about hospital bills I have 50 points just get the anger out of me though you know now that I think about it I think each place I should get a little makeover so let me let me get this guy a bit of a change up wait what was that first yes look at that he's got some skill like not a lot of it but some all right you've earned a new face buddy let's get you that makeover now that's a face you could be proud of that's a face that gets its beauty sleep okay what could I do here I could ask to drop off a tram that sounds cool tag the big billboard that's fun spiral down the laper de rare respireral rail it's like no it's not my Spanish it's just my reading real skaters take the elevator there we go that was much easier oh man I love skateboarding it's so cool that I had to carry my skateboard everywhere and not use it excellent all those fumes holy bejesus that scene of his face looked like it was straight out of a horror movie no oh God that was close I nearly killed myself I wouldn't have even been able to have like an open casket funeral like nothing to do with the fall just in general it would be a little bit scary and off-putting for people okay I'm gonna drop down on this rail cat oh my God man Jesus Christ look at this little face he's scared okay here we go yes why are the jumps so aggressive now I just gotta figure out a place that I can acid drop and then remember how to acid drop I really picked the wrong direction didn't I all the ramps are over there no well I'll just enjoy the sights and you get to enjoy the sights of him enjoying the sights okay here it goes and yes I did it oh that was actually surprising I love when I succeed and for my next trick this has gotta get me a lot of points yes and your reward is we attempt to fix that face of yours no luck I do think you have interest though like you do seem to have a groupie for some reason you can do better alright Mr Hawk wait I just realized there whole level has been repaired good job dude I'm assuming it was you anyway all right well now that we've destroyed and repaired the city I'm ready to move on with the killer session oh my God he looks so happy with himself since you and I are the newest Pros we're getting traded oh no I'm being swapped to the other team let's knock it out there and we're chilling the fact that he could even synchronize a fist bump with those eyes is amazing like I assumed all the skating was just guesswork but if I'm heading to Berlin I'll need another makeover some nobody wants told me here we go I figured it would be a good idea because you can actually play his track in this game and I just can't wait till I complete the campaign oh no I might have adjusted it to the wrong color now you're looking hands off Jesus Christ all right that is close enough to Shrek for me honestly if I saw that walk down the street I'd be like hello Shrek I am your biggest fan you see all of this very confusing I didn't know what was going on like I bought what I thought was a skateboarding game and then I see a man getting attacked by a bull in a hotel free the spirits okay how did he get up there come on then why do I have to find him stop the kids from smoking never oh my God this is so strange oh Shrek angry Shrek stop it the hell did I just do I destroyed a sign or something I'm completing Golds by accident again let's stick to the same plan where we try to get all of the random skaters so we can do random goals by mistake oh wait I don't even need to skate up here to get him I'll just go up the ladder I love skateboarding take a look up here nice to meet you let's head down and talk okay through pure abuse and extortion he has joined my team paint bomber Market territory oh that's a cool one we gotta do the big billboard let's go shred this thing let's go Shrek this thing I agree honestly I've only been to Germany once but it was exactly like this everyone in lederhosen and Shrek beating the bejesus out of them hell yeah time to shred it up Shrek It Up great graffiti he's like putting down his own tag and then spraying over it with wife I honestly cannot find the other dudes and uh honestly I'm getting sick of finding him so I think Shrek is just going to forget about him and he'll just die up there I don't think I need his challenges anyway I can get by without them like watch I'm gonna kill Wee Man right here with this giant fish there we go he's dead everyone it's gonna be worth at least seven points what was he doing oh yeah I gotta free the spirits oh man I keep forgetting just you know it's a skateboarding game you don't really think about freeing the spirits when you think you're skateboarding okay I'm gonna Freedom the only way I know how Through Skateboarding okay yes this actually seems to be working this is the same way I killed Wee Man with the fish yay I broke the curse whatever that means and then I immediately assault the person behind the door clean there we go what a jump Jesus Shrek is a serious vertical leap I don't know why I'm up here I don't know what I'm looking for it just looks dangerous and Shrek loves danger oh wait I think you need to repair the artwork but um I don't think this character has the skills for it just defacing it I'm gonna get arrested there was once a beautiful mural here I bet a good artist could bring it back yeah yeah I bet hey oh my God I can just scale this building no skating needed for the skating game there's a severe lack of skating at some points when it comes to me go on Shrek and hail those toxic fumes that's how you mutated this beautiful in the first place and honestly objectively it's a massive Improvement alright just like Courage the Cowardly Dog used to say let's save Muriel oh he scrubbed it off he just waited for me to leave and got rid of it that middle one kinda looks like jacksepticeye there we go and because I repaired all of the mural this funfair disco opened which is just fantastic I can see the connection because once that's repaired all the tourists will come and then they will dance so I went into the clothing editor because I was like oh we can get track some nice clothes and then I figured hey we can just make them all green so we can green screen them out of the scene you know do you a favorite but now that I'm done his outfit I realize you can go to scale options and you can make him a big boy it looks like he just has no bones it's all jelly down there are those people who inject that liquid to make it look like you have muscle but overall I would have to say 10 out of 10. he's not even like touching the side of the wheel anymore his body proportions are so off his hands just kind of floating on there tapping the middle alright time to resume Shrek 5 happily ever after oh Shrek just killed a man and after I killed himself oh here we go he's gonna properly freak out yes the officer right behind him but Shrek doesn't give a damn he's got plot armor he's the main character they're gonna need me for Shrek six seven and eight oh wait what am I supposed to do for this goal I thought it was assault oh my God I'm so big Jesus Christ I just beybladed him he's not getting off I'm Gonna Leave oh I wanted my freedom I wanted my happily ever after I should take a look at what goals that I can do and cause a lot of damage and no I'm still not going to help him he's stuck on that roof forever locate three Berlin cops and see if you can set their hats on fire all at once I'm down wait so how do I actually do it do I just like do oh I do a trick all right the screams of pain excellent yes there's another one I need another cop somewhere aha yes this is great what's he gonna do arrest me you and whatever me honestly your whole Army couldn't take Shrek ah I took German for a few years so I know that that means nice skating Chief everyone just looks like a child to compare to me now anything for two oh this is nice look how happy it makes Shrek now that I've defeated you in combat you must Now teach me a trick sure I'll show you an old school trick yeah that's right he's threatened what is kp9 and kp8 could it be this no no it could be that no no maybe oh ah I'm doing it do I just keep going do I keep beyblading imagine you've just done holiday walking through Germany and all of a sudden a giant Shrek is just spinning on a pipe like this I just welcome him as my new Overlord there's nothing cooler than this yes so now that I've completed as tricky has disappeared into the void he's gone Far Far Away Pro Tour line first skate up this quarter pipe next grind the lower ledge next cry in the middle Edge X grind the Opera ledge oh Jesus Christ is so much finally lift the letters oh my God there's so much to that I like how any of the skating ones I'm like this is impossible I just do the one that terrorizes people and that's because well I'm not good at skating as you can see always wished wished that means weight in Irish by the way I don't know why I think you'll just know that I mean I'm kind of surprised even I know that oh I'm doing it I'm doing it oh God oh God this is terrifying oh did I do it I had to grind some of the other letters are you serious they're like oh really close but I didn't want you to uh lip on the w I wanted you to lip on the Zed so you know not really what I wanted no points for you it's all right I'm getting the hang of this now Shrek knows what he wants oh oh I did it that was so good and for 75 points oh my God I uh killed myself never mind oh Shrek mad how many boards does he go through and who keeps giving him more and now that I know that it's a goal to destroy three of these letters I'll just keep doing that and that should get me out of Berlin oh sorry yes I got it oh my God I'm so good at skating and I got a text from bam that we have killed this city I mean we've killed every city sort of how we've destroyed them I see we'll even get a head start in the next city let's meet up with Phil when you want to leave all right let's go now Shrek ready wait his head is just decapitated oh my God thank God they didn't show us that it would have been blood everywhere the Haka look he hit rookie swap again and we got our old teammate back oh that's convenient isn't it he's just back wait his head is still floating all right we're going to Bangkok we have hijacked the plane and redverted it to Bangkok instead of Australia now we can own Australia because Bam's team missed their flight from Bangkok okay okay now I'm on this team because I got swapped yeah of course and they're probably mourning because you know they lost a teammate to decapitation oh now that's a special guest I'd like to find look at him in his go-kart oh I can't wait to just ruin Australia foreign that line okay who do I want who's the fastest who's the speediest boy that's gotta be Mike again he loves running that's what I want as a teammate not good skateboarding running all right we need to like do some serious damage here and then I think Shrek has earned himself a makeover again I love that this game is about skateboarding and I've made it about makeovers and parkour all right what is this how is anybody supposed to get anything done around here when that jackass is sleeping on the job all right okay I'll help you out that didn't work at all I don't know why I thought grinding his um crane would and that's not a euphemism that I don't know why I thought grinding his crane would work the hell am I supposed to do is it something to do with his fingers oh he didn't do anything but this is really impressive actually Shrek is just a boss isn't he that leaky hydrant should be some use oh okay why didn't I just listen to this guy okay just a note though you're now a co-conspirator just keep spinning just keep spinning just keep spinning but no I skipped cut scene I hate this okay let's try this again yes here we go Shrek damn it okay that was unfortunate did I just kill him oh my God all the chaos I love just destroying every city I get to yeah run dude run okay destroyed that wall hey buddy nice dive it's very impressive anyway I'm gonna go check what's behind that wall and then I'm gonna get a makeover I found him all right I'll play as you and in the meantime Shrek will be getting a makeover the size difference is insane I was gonna ask for to go in your go-kart but I destroy it with my enormous Shrek wagon oh this is cool look how fast I am I love speed what are his goals he's gotta have some cool one handicap Havoc okay that doesn't sound that good destroy the handicapped spaces sign okay now we're just being a dick there we go destroy the city and then we're like yeah let's go one step further and destroy all the handicap spaces oh no oh no oh no oh no he's very resilient I love how he T poses oh oh God I love how many t-poses every time just before he gets back on oh sorry officer but yeah you keep complaining to them skateboarding bad go-karting good aha there we go I don't know this guy was the best addition to our team help local skate rats oh I have to help them see if you can find a way to distract him while they make a run for it that crane worked pretty nicely before okay ow oh my God I'm just constantly falling I hope Shrek's makeover is done soon because I can't play with this guy oh my God it oh I think I solved it yes the Havoc continues wait what is okay he went for it he was hardly moving they just launched at it yes chaos fantastic the chaos continues Jesus Christ how many people have died on this skateboarding World Tour and he's just sitting there menacingly in his go-kart fantastic is he gonna chase me now or is he just no he's just angry at the world honestly I would be too it's makeover time look everybody I'm Homer Simpson honestly I thought I was watching The Simpsons for a second I got really confused I was like oh my game crashed they must be really confused like how many people are on your team holy Jesus it's terrifying I take humorous violent tendencies to a new level let's just hope he doesn't start choking a child honestly they probably give me 50 points these people are lunatics find the shrimp vendor well they're just out there t-posing he can't get too far ow I mean go hey come back here you bastard I got you you're on the team now you're in the catering section of our team all right he wants to do the shrimp slap with that guy dancing there it makes me really uncomfortable I can see Tony Hawk just uh t-posing there he's not helping at all getting points I don't really want to play his shrimp vendor though well maybe a little bit I'll do the shrimp slap whatever that means I'm supposed to drain this pool oh wait I see I I think I have to do something with this it's got warning signs on it if I haven't learned anything in life approach things with warning signs we did it we ruined everyone's fun the pool is drained no one is swimming because of the sharks in the water so the lifeguards are bored give them something to do by smacking five of them with cold slimy shrimp okay sounds reasonable I put my feet inside him but I I don't know what else to do how do I throw shrimp unless they go collect shrimp somewhere I sell shrimp surely I could just take some out like can I not just take my shrimp out on the beach is that really so wrong a box of shrimp how convenient there we go she's in here to react she's just happy he stopped talking to her there's one more that's permanent brain damage for sure and I think this is the last guy at least you're on Sand you're out of ammo is that what we're calling shrimp now get special and perform two rotisseries over the lofty roof gap between the two Center buildings what the hell does that even mean imagine you just wanted to buy some shrimp but you just cannot catch him because he just keeps skating around doing flips you're like God I'm starving really killed for some shrimp oh another man dead Jesus what a landing though skating shrimp vendor I'm in the game oh God Homer's angry I think I think he wants to play actually hold on all right that time I saw some action wait was that Homer she's this one voice actors it's weird all right Homer I hope you're not afraid of heights because we are going climbing again and I don't mean skating up there I mean like legit climbing we're gonna climb this ladder we're gonna tag up the whole town imagine you looked out your window and Homer Simpson was climbing your fire escape an angry Homer Simpson with sideburns and then he started spray painting your building I'm sure I've had a dream like that once foreign oh my God that was so scary should I jump it or try and skate you know jumping that's more reliable yes and his jump is pretty insane okay Jesus Christ Homer is risking his life here he's determined now look at that stride yeah why are we even up here here we go oh is it not this sign oh wait I have to drop down God hope you're not afraid of heights Homer wait come on do it oh no I bet it's a pro Challenge and I haven't found the pro so now I have to climb back up here no where is the pro I thought the shrimp Fender might be the pro oh the here you are just hiding down here doing nothing they're absolutely manic I knew there was something to do with this now instead of him giving a peace sign he's sticking up his middle finger take that Sydney oh my God I'm skating I'm really skating oh god oh no oh oh wait there's another ladder okay no need to skate Homer ah Jesus Christ there's glass shards in my Homer there we go just spray paint underneath what you did earlier oh God it's kind of an underneath and above somehow oh my God that was like the coolest trick I've Done Yet Homer's still not happy though he's pissed it's honestly super fun to just skate around in this game as much as I'm making fun of it it's really really good game like look at me I'm awesome oh God all right just a little bit of glass I think I suffered an artery there but it'll be fine it's The Simpsons I mean they can never die do I need to like do anything with my stats because I have not been attending them I assume I don't and he's just like getting better even though they're actually technically all different skaters or he just gets heavy plastic surgery every place we visit oh my God he's getting really good he's very slow though how do I get that up it involves graffiti and throwing stuff how is that not a higher caveman two times in one combo that's just when you get off the board right all right so there and then oh I okay maybe this is larger than it first appears oh it's when you get back on it is the the caveman okay there we go I did it just gotta find some graffiti or something that I can get my run stat up with like I spend more time running than I do on my board I'm scanning my childhood memories to see if I can remember where the graffiti is but I just can't like there's five of them here you think I'd remember one like this is important knowledge that my brain should have retained oh wait I can do this every single time okay this is awesome they'll keep preparing it I'll keep breaking it sorry buddy you should really stop falling asleep oh my God I did the Franklin grind I'll never forget you Benjamin Franklin especially now that I know how to do your move yes this is my favorite move now just kite surfing I got half a million points with that Benjamin Franklin taught me so much I cannot find a single piece of graffiti it's actually getting annoying now like where are they I don't know what the hell I'm doing I don't know what the hell I'm doing I'm scaring dolls I think yes I accidentally got onto like the line where the golds are I just kind of skate around and wait for stuff to happen and if it glows I stay on it God this is the greatest combo ever known to man nice I got another one I don't even know what that was for I think I accidentally skated these lines that I was meant to and did the seagulls in one go I just see pop-ups and I keep going I'm like yes feed me serotonins I need to Jesus the arm strength just the upper body strength in general I mean I guess look at him he's all upper body oh yes vandalism I've ruined the meal for everyone wait a second can I just graffiti like in a combo like that would that work rather than having to find one it is okay that's much easier that was so easy after all that searching wait a second that's the kid from earlier alright kidnapping theory is legit I thought I was being a bit of a conspiracy theorist oh my God okay I just smacked that child and he's not getting up but Homer just continues doing sick tricks oh I love seeing it in slow motion because the physics look even more ridiculous speaking of physics nice just ignoring gravity there as they smashed my board all right you know what maybe that challenge isn't worth the head trauma I was just trying to do a flip over these but the buttons are so awkward I'm rage quitting from Australia where are you Tony come out oh and I saw you T posing here earlier oh my God what are they plotting they better not be throwing this at home or oh no Homer please no he's new to the team we think we're not sure where Shrek went oh Jesus Christ dude oh you didn't add this right we didn't lose it's a tie it's a tie I finished last for our team but I'm not going hope I think these two cats right here you just go have a little Showdown you know what I'm saying wait it comes between the both of us is this for real what the hell where'd you get this from the yeah but one of it section this guy's like trying to make the documentary on us that we don't want made and we need to stop him this is our like tie breaker have your mission now go get it sweet wait with those clothes and lame masks you look just like Beaver houses are you sure I'm not even in the frame because I'm so tall piss off the bikini girls piss off the construction workers I'm honest get some seagulls to crap on the girls okay I'm on it look at me everyone it's that documentary Feller I'm just feeling a little bit ill today so excuse my yellow tone yeah it's uh fitting disguise I'll give you that Beaver blast five construction workers what does that mean get special and then left right kp4 ah yes kp4 here we go this three out of five where's the other there we go oh damn it what am I gonna learn stupid Jesus Christ he's having a proper breakdown okay four out of five done I fall nearly every time I do that trick but I just keep doing it look at him just standing there with his hat on fire just being sad this guy is really really good at hide and seek I can't find him I guess I'd be good at hiding too if someone was out there trying to Beaver blast me and set my hair on fire I don't know why but the jungle music seems kind of fitting here like the way he's climbing the way he looks and everything he looks like a guy who has been lost to the wild okay it's now night time everyone just so you're in the know wait he was here oh my God I couldn't see him with the draw distance for God's sake alright time to light you on fire buddy there we go I did it look at him just standing there inside his trailer in the seat oh the guy's finally awake oh my God my face is floating which is still like the least weirdest thing about him what about me and this guy is kicked off excellent he's like my enemy from the first game but I can't remember the first game I'm just gonna hate him anyway and they're both dead that is Canon and we're just moving on that fast to New Orleans I honestly completely even forgot about this level raise the dead oh yeah that's that's 25 points right there raise the dead it seems fair run up kid let's get going yeah let's get going because Homer needs a makeover I love my makeovers when I go to a new place well what do you think he's a little troll face I also made his body much smaller I figured it kind of worked better I kept his head huge though because he's got a big ego and I kept his feet huge for balance oh I need to keep slapping that I knew there was something to do with the Riverboat it's going much further oh no I thought that was really cool that I slapped against the tram who oh just got it and then I drowned 25 points for me I'm gonna go raise the dead now since I kind of look like one of them please don't knock the skulls off The Cribs okay yes the Crypt has been opened but the screams of pain as I Disturbed the dead okay this is actually some proper paranormal stuff I thought it was just gonna be like whatever you know just defiling a graveyard just standard stuff oh gosh they're gonna bury me here soon I keep getting head trauma like that yay I raised the dead oh we're getting a cutscene okay this is a big one I guess I should have seen that coming is that a swamp monster that I saw there oh my God what is this thing welcome to the team buddy that's all I can say and and he's actually turning people into zombies this game is wild like this is about skateboarding and look at this okay I have no idea what all that meant but the whole town is cursed now and I've started the apocalypse imagine that you start the [ __ ] apocalypse he's like yeah I'll give you 25 points down I go I thought I'd get more points oh Jesus Christ I jump off excellent what am I doing Jesus wait no this is to save New Orleans no I don't want to save them why would I want to do that Jesus Christ that's so loud there's so much going on here this is very overwhelming Boombox a Boombox right sure okay great yeah royalty-free music that's what I'd listen to in the Apocalypse I did it I thought I failed it because the music stopped that one was actually hard I apparently have no rhythm whatsoever wait I can already be him oh excellent I thought I'd have to end the apocalypse and I was like not worth it you could hear the little pedal squeaking oh Jesus man look at that you need to get some oil in here on your bike actually not in you don't eat motor oil I had to learn that the hard way in my defense I was extremely young I was like 24 at the time I'm killing zombies on my tricycle what a day oh the hell was that again just accidentally falling upwards into my objectives just peacefully tricling my way around New Orleans now did you say it's the best way to explore the city on your tricycle what manholes what about them oh I need to like manual over them I see come on there's one more it's right over there speed up speed up come on no not the other way yes that's fine you've never landed I barely made it to that Jesus Christ that better be attacking I'm done I want to leave this place in the apocalypse hey pork sniffer who is this I'll kill you let me know when you come close to my score he's texting me all the way from Germany he's good reception because he's still stuck on that roof wait a second the jester I had a goal to try and find him huh come here come here you're on the team yes I was gonna say his smile is terrifying but he's way less terrified than my main character acid drop into the world's largest drink well I know what an acid drop is thanks to earlier but how the hell do I do that okay I can't reach that I hate that this music starts blasting every time you get up here oh the billboard I can get up there nice and easy just trying to get points any way that doesn't involve ending the apocalypse oh my God Jesus Christ okay I've oh oh my God I was just right to say I have no idea how to get up there and I was giving up oh wait now that I just jumped down I'm like I could have done the other Challenge from up there I could have dropped into that big glass for God's sake now I gotta get back up there this bloody annoying music okay where is it it's like this angle oh I did it God I'm good at skating wait what the hell the hell am I here all right never mind I'm getting out of here yeah there we go destroyed the gaslamps Tony hawks's we're ready to go let's go now let's get out of the zombie apocalypse the hell is this why are they riding along like this Christ they are both dead I'll give you 12 points wait he's back or is that me I can't tell the disguise was so good let's kill him yeah murder I mean he's a witness to our last murder can give me footage of the final stage of the tour I will pay for this entire event but the losers are gonna pay actually yeah now that you've put it out on the list there was something for 3.2 million there I don't know what it was that's probably Benjamin Franklin's Bill to
destroying that construction you guys are so far behind now are we but we got like 1 000 points oh my god dude the equalizers are gnarly all team done you pull it off and we're all tied up wait well hold on I can't hear you over the hurricane me and the boys can run upstairs and borrow a helicopter wait we're going flying in a helicopter during this weather during the apocalypse okay so if I do this challenge we're all even I have no idea how we lost the lead look at what I have caused avoid securing get up to the helicopter on the roof well my plan is just to walk up there is that a good plan oh my God what my parkour is good but the catwalk isn't solid this is security oh my God he's good oh he's very good all right go go go go go hey walk up and grab her yes here we go wait you want me to jump oh sweet Jesus and then to watch grab the helic air up why I suck ah Jesus Christ okay acid drop onto the flashing ramp air up the other side switch to walk and then oh my God oh instructions unclear okay oh sweet Jesus my back is broken can't do it God you should be playing basketball dude that block was insane oh my God he's so good at his job the guy upstairs is useless okay I'm pretty prepared now I think I failed it God damn it okay here we go yes he's in action here oh I gotta do it again got a spine over the helicopter oh Jesus dude this is insane they just want me dead honestly I'm quite impressed he's been able to fly it this long but um I think it makes sense that he crashes now yeah he's dead add him to the casualty list it's gonna be longer than that bill it's probably over 3.2 million in itself I'll be fine they've been busted for skating many times what I busted for skating he crashed a helicopter into the swamp a helicopter which he stole by the way I'm skating with you you and I are gonna bring it home finally Tony puts down the clipboard and he's gonna help me locate the chainsaw it's my first goal that's a bad idea Tony well actually my first goal is to do a makeover that's always my first goal and Tony will understand that there we go I think we need a proper hero so we're gonna have Minecraft Steve oh my God I didn't realize how thin his poor legs were like those feet are huge okay I can't find like Minecraft Steve pants so I'm just gonna give him a diaper instead for now I'm gonna try and make it Square as I can alright that is pretty Square he's ready come on Tony let's do this catch a strong thumbs can Minecraft Steve he's just too powerful I'm just gonna ask these fellas what they thought of my makeover but they're all wearing the same thing the hell is going on here wait you're the guy from before hey homes I'm rigging up this sick oh sorry so he's rigging off a sick off-road board but as always I wanted too much engine this thing turned into a fireball find me something with serious power and I'll let you skate it okay oh who is this he just said cool it's just some random kid hello got these sick runs and see if you've got the skills to pull them off you might learn something kid okay and now even this guy's calling me kid scoop green check to the school of Park the hell was that is that my conscience talking to me just my inner voice there's Tony standing up the the steps like the king he is why is this guy even driving around the skatepark like this this is so dangerous Jesus I'm going so fast does it just continue to get faster and faster it sure feels like it but I honestly can't tell oh my god I've gone into Orvis thanks care what skeetopia spine combo what's that oh no oh no no Jesus Christ trying to do a combo here oh thank God he breaks at least he's ready to break I suppose I'm gonna slow him down the entire way though because I really want to land this manual I think there's one for going all the way down the hill yes I got one that was a big one too oh and there's another one for going all the way down but going out the main Gage for God's sake all right I've got an idea I'll just get more speed this time and I will try to remember it's a manual the fact that he's doing this just on like mud and grass is super impressive I must add I did it nobody saw it but I'll just say to Bam that's what I did give me 50 points really nice man I don't know if you notice by the way but I got a sick head tattoo now it's like a hazardous thing because I'm just a toxic person that everyone should stay away from never thought you'd see Minecraft Steve and a diaper tagging up Turf did you oh Jesus Christ do I grind oh wait the the fire yes you know just using simple logic didn't even do it right I climbed up the oh maybe I have to do it right what is this thing there we go that's more like it yeah missile oh it was a firework God damn it oh my God the sickest move of the playthrough the Franklin grind what what is this what what do I do damn it why aren't I prepared for once oh I was supposed to drop into that okay well I can do that that's easy yeah I learned everything I know from Benjamin Franklin from Mike we're in jail but we should be rolling your way soon beaverhausen will be here to bail us out any minute before we get nabbed we stole this truck on top of the bills he agreed to pay now he has to pay for our helicopter hijacking and crash into the swamp of Bale money all right the big question on my mind is where is that chainsaw I need it and I'm not talking about for landscaping it's actually for manscaping and compared to the makeovers I'm just climbing trees yes I knew it would be this one top of the hill what wait what what this game is awesome yeah okay Bigfoot just stole my gas powered chainsaw and shredding off down the hill destroying a forest okay I'm guessing I can compete as Bigfoot then bigfoots on our team okay we got dibs anyone see Bigfoot I understand if you didn't he's quite subtle in his movements oh I spotted him big hairy beast he's on his way to meet you Bigfoot I am Bigfoot yes all right man of few words I kind of gathered your Bigfoot though grow some plants a clear path manual up a slope what I'm guessing that the skateboard will help me with that come on Bigfoot I nearly have enough points bring it home for team Steve thank you okay Jesus Christ that was easy hairy foot grab that's my favorite trick that's another one Bigfoot is our MVP you've enough points to win this thing all right hold on one second I'll be right with you I just want to see what a raging Bigfoot is like here he goes Christ literally knocked out that other skater it's gonna be so confused when Bigfoot just rocks up like yeah have we won the biggest problem is you can't Dismount your board as Bigfoot so I just have to carefully what what are you scared of Bigfoot or something to celebrate our complete domination I'm gonna blow this hellhole Sky High oh no he's doing a big finale a spin bomb like this doesn't seem fair I'm just making do with what we have he's out here making weapons of mass destruction right now I play as bam why would I want him to win though oh I guess I'm helping their team then oh that's much easier I was trying to like grind up this rail so I could grind back down to activate it I can just climb this thing everything in the skateboarding game is solved by not skateboarding foreign ERS with us you had so much time to get out and now you're running from the bombs wait save the dogs and exit skate Topia oh my God everybody Chase Tony Hawk look how tasty he looks there we go what a strange ending I kind of see why I repressed this this is wild come on Cass hop on Tony Hawk's head scratched the [ __ ] out of him for everything he's done on this Tour all right it's time for the grand finale this place is getting torched I'm sure the skating Community will love this we blow off the greatest skatepark on Earth but if you can bust gate Sophie in one combo you get a thousand points what the police is about to explode oh my God that laugh so they just left Minecraft Steve in here while all these bombs were going on beautiful so beautiful the cameraman just watching like yes we are accessories this is terrorist incident yes I don't know how I ended up up there because I was slowly manually down the hill world destruction tour Champs I love the sound of that oh the game just realized that he's still on a roof in Germany as well we're live in three two what the hell is this like the proof that he was an accessory to this for weeks I tracked the Earth with the world's top skaters yeah he's admitting to the whole thing here is the compelling me gripping story of the world destruction tour okay wait this is the the tape he made oh it's pretty good I see what he paid for the entire thing it's pretty good could get an Oscar perhaps Minecraft Steve is actually kind of appalled by this he's like come on guys this is mean thank you world for tuning in thank you Tony Hawk for providing us with this excellent skateboarding plus terrorism Style game but you might be noticing the Shrek 2 logo that's the real reason we're doing the story mode that's right we don't need our Shrek face anymore we've got The Real Shrek like you never saw this one coming did you but now for the real real reason we're doing story mode just only the world is Gonna Roll me I ain't the sharpest finally after all these years I got to make my Shrek 2 skating music video they said I was mad well thank you so much for going on this world tour with me I hope you enjoyed check out some more of my long form content here I really think you'll enjoy it if you made it this far thanks for watching and bye for now
2022-11-01 20:31
