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Good. Morning you guys I told, you we would vlog in December, it's gonna be like a way you can kind of get to know me a little, more but also we are gonna be tackling our to-do list today so. So. We're gonna do I just drop the kids off and, we're. Gonna be getting stuff, done but, first coffee. I have a little, treat. On my apps here. We go hey there can I get a grande, hot, peppermint, mocha with, one, pump peppermint, one-pump. Mocha and almonds I'm trying with, your first off I look ridiculous, and I look kind of crazy and. I'm trying to. Get. You guys in a better light what, is going on here, hold on, right. Better I still. Have the cold sore on my face but you know what I figure, there's bigger things in. The world going. On than the cold sore on my face and if you guys think it's ugly then you. Can watch somebody else's video. Kind. Of how I'm feeling cuz there's nothing I can do about it right now. It's. There. It's, here. When. You have a little, reward on, your Starbucks makes, me so stinkin happy. Okay, 605, yes thank, you. Sorry. Service every press release though it takes forever. Thank. You you have a great day, Thanks. All. Right I got my drink, so, this how many year I will usually get like a peppermint mocha and I was going to get an ice I'll. Get something ice like. A cold brew with all my milk but it's. Gonna be 60s, today so I decided. Living. Up with the cold drink right all. Right we have things to do we. Have a to-do list so. I'm. Really trying to push through yesterday was a hard day for me I cried a lot there, were just some days where you need a good cry and that. Was yesterday I cried. I. Just. Been feeling really off lately honestly, really, off and. Kind. Of sad I just have had these realizations I, don't know if it's like a midlife crisis, but I just have been having these realizations. That. Time is fleeting. It. Sounds really silly you know and I don't that's better I know somebody. Out there, has. Got to have, it has to experience what I'm going through so as you guys know I have an older daughter she's 17. And, she's actually been in Texas. And, that has been really like, at first it was a big deal but I'm the type of person I don't freak. Out about little things like, that. You. Know I freaked out about going. To a store with a whole bunch of people you know normal things but, she's. Been out of town and I was like yeah that's fine whatever but the more she's been gone it's, been kind of hard I've had these realizations, even. Before she left about just how time is just going by so fast, my. Eyes are itchy, alright we're gonna try this so she's 17, and Noah is five and, I. Just you know you know I've wanted a baby I've been longing for a baby for about two years and, every, time I, would bring it up to Chris he would say like okay I'm. On board let's just, there's. Six months and then the six months would come and then he was like I'm, on board I'm nervous, another, six months and, then. When that time came he was like a year, a year I promise you in a year and, I. I've. Been waiting and now we're here again and. He's like well I could guarantee you. Know it was a girl which you, guys already know we would be there any thankful and very blessed to have another little boy but it's, okay for us to long for it a little girls together it's okay we have four boys like we, would still love a little boy and, I just want to put that out there if you guys are longing for a certain gender there is nothing wrong with that as, long as you, are loving. And accepting to, whatever God gives you so. I'm just gonna put that out there you're not wrong for wanting a certain gender to, balance your family that's not a bad thing and, we. Do now, like I said if we had a little boy I would be fine with it you, know of course you would be a little bit of like oh man. But. You, know it's okay. And. Someone. Because I've experienced, gender disappointment, before and I felt like I was a horrible, person for it it happens to the best of us and you just have to push forward and be thankful for what you got so. I just had to put that out there. Comment, but, so. Now here we are again and he's all like well we're not you know, if. We were more financially secure or if. Our home was less chaotic or, I mean there's always something. A reason why and I thought you just got done and I said I'm not gonna sit here and try to convince you, i-i've. Had, a child with someone my ex-husband, who, didn't want those kids and I, know what, that feels like, so I don't I won't do that and. He. Was like I wouldn't want not that I wouldn't want it I just you know we just have so much going on I'm like I know but I'm old I'm getting old like, I don't, want to have a baby at 40 I'm, gonna be I'm 37, right now like it's, already getting polite for me that's how I feel in my heart so.

I Just had to just like forget it get, out like kicking. And screaming within myself and just forget it I'm done dealing with it and. So. That's. Been a little heartbreaking to, have to, because. I had felt a longing on my life and my heart to. Try for another baby that, gets intense, the desire is intense. When your husband. Doesn't. Feel the same way that's very, it's. Very hard but, you know it's not fair to. Him for, me to push. That upon town, so. We need to come to a middle ground it's not fair for either one of us to. Be. Feel. How, do I put it to feel like. I'm, not gonna have a baby in him not wanted and I should not have a baby because he doesn't want it like we need to come to the middle ground we have to have to compromise. But, I've got a point where I'm like you know there's a part of me that doesn't. Want to start over and the things that I miss, are, the things that have that go by the quickest, you know the failing, a move inside, in those first moments and, those newborn things. You, know all the first milestones, those are the things that I miss terribly, I don't necessarily want, to do the, temper tensions, and the, you know 18 months like all the regressions, the progressions, and stuff like that so I'm trying to evaluate, what. God wants, for me but. In this time, and, this. Whatever, I felt, like oh my. Gosh like, my daughter is gonna be leaving soon and, I don't have anybody and that's been really hard that's what's I think the hardest thing for me is. Trying to shift my, perspective. On my, life and, my image. Like wrong idea I had for my family, in my life and, like I've been putting all the Christmas stuff out and they just don't give a day. And, I think I got really emotional my, lips look really, really. Light sorry, they. Just don't care. They, don't care like, I care, and, that's okay cuz I don't care about sports, and balls and. All, that stuff like they care and that's okay you know but. It's just a realization. That my. Daughter's going to be gone and I'm really really sad about it I'm really sad I'm sad I'll never. I'm. Sad that having. A daughter. Home. With me and doing all the girly, type of stuff is over, I'm. Going to cry. That's, what. I'm having such a hard time with. Okay. So. That's what I'm having such a hard time with it's just realizing, that it's over and, I. Didn't get to do a lot of stuff for her because some of her struggles, which is heartbreaking. And, now my, time with her is almost over, now I know she'll still be around but you guys know what I mean when your daughter. Goes off to college or, you know they decide to go move into another state or whatever the case may be, it's. It's it's a huge transition and, then like I've got my sweet always and I'm so thankful for them but. I don't feel, like. It's different when you have a daughter that you do a lot of things with and, you guys connect, and she gets you and you get her you know what I mean like I mean. Like I told Chris if you have to remember she's always been with me I had her when I was 19, years old. Eighteen or twenty nineteen, years. Old so like she, grew up with me and, it's. Heartbreaking, to think that she's gonna be gone soon so. Mom's. Who've had kids leave know. What I'm talking about. Just, like I don't how in the world do. The most 18, years, go by so, fast and. That's been the realization, so I'm. Trying to. Embrace. Where. I'm at and I'm trying to embrace what. The Lord's given me, so. It's, been tough so. As for the baby thing I know I've had ups some people asked me on my other video, where I was saying like swaying. For a girl's right you can see yeah like we were that was the plan that's always with the plan and, my husband keeps changing it and out. Of frustration, I've. Just given up at this, point in my life I've given up so. There. Is no talk of trying, to conceive at this at this moment. So. I asked him for a puppy. Want. A puppy, and. I've already checked all the rescues, and the shelters and they don't have what I'm looking for yes I'm, looking for an on shedding dog and.

I've, Been I always. Look, for rescues, and shelters, first. That's just who I am I always always. Scour. There first but. If I can't find that then I look, for something out that he's like no yeah but either, like. Because. They're so expensive that's why they're like expensive. I've been trying to find some with a good price he's like we, can't buy anything right now until we get out of debt and he's, absolutely right. But, this mom wants something to cuddle. So. I'm just gonna keep myself busy. That's, pretty much the, point, of all of this I'm just gonna keep myself SuperDuper. Busy. And. Just, focus on the things that I do have and. I am I'm blessed I know I'm blessed but I'm also human and I'm allowed to have these emotions, without, feeling, guilty so, we are off to my post office I got a notification that something's there so that'll be excited. To see what it is and then, we are going to tackle, this to-do list I've got a lot of things to do it came back from them I'm at my post office now and I, got two. Cards. Happy. Home happy, hearts Happy Holidays to you Merry Christmas love bar love, your videos, oh. How. Sweet. And. The sweetest, card, thank, you. Barbara. Ponder. From ohio. Thank. You, I, think, this is just the sweetest card. I cannot wait to put this up. Or. It does. It's. Like a 3d, card. How. Sweet okay. Peggy. Leland. From, Liberty. New. York. These. Things make my face guys. Wishing. You and your family a wonderful Thanksgiving I, found your channel this year and I'm loving it I hope, you were feeling better Thank You Peggy. You. Were so sweet both if you guys are so sweet this. Means so. So much to me I love hearing from you guys I don't know how I got so blessed to have, such, sweet. Subscribers. I just you, guys know I love you and I appreciate you more than you ever know. Thank. You so much. Guys. Are awesome that made my day I was not having a good day yesterday, those. Sweet cards, just made my day so thank. You, okay. We. Got to get back to doing stuff you, guys are really sweet thank. You so. Much, today. I'm. Going to show you guys what I got from Target, in the grocery store I totally. Just. Messed. Up and forgot that. I was supposed to be doing a hot. Cocoa bar for Thursday's video yep. My. Mind has not been where it needs to be and. I'm making this video like very blog style we're. Just hanging out just friends, hanging out so I hope you don't mind it's not gonna be perfectly edited, and all that fancy stuff it's. Just two friends hanging out or however, many friends watch that's hanging out with me so let. Me know in the comments below if you like this style we'll just give this video a thumbs up, this. I'm gonna put it under there. I'm. Not gonna show you much more, you'll. Have to see Thursday's video for. That but I want. To do her blogs, I'm. Gonna be easier, to do if, I don't have to like fine-tune, them. Mess, out of them like with the cleaning, videos those are. Hard. To do worth. It I love. It I absolutely love, it but, if they're definitely. Takes. Me hours upon, hours to edit those so. After. I would just hug it have, it with my mom to Kirkland's and. Something. About being with your mom that makes you cry like she, was talking to me because I guess Chris went to her and told her that I was sad, yesterday. I started crying in Kirkland. It's. Like this mm-hmm. I'ma, talk to you ah I'm doing my dishes wait, let. Me talk to you as I. I'm. Gonna talk to you guys while. I unlock the dishes, I'm. Gonna talk to you guys I, don't know how many times I've said I'm going to talk to you guys while I get out the groceries, I. Feel. Like everyone's. Okay. I got turkey snacks. I, feel, like as mom we're. Not allowed to have, bad days and. We're. Not allowed to. Feel. Like we can't do it all and, that's. Not fair. I'm. Human and. Life. Is hard, being. A mom is hard being, married is hard and, all. Of that it's hard and I, feel like there's a stigma, but, if moms are having a bad days we need to suck it up and just be thankful for awesome, well I, am.

Thankful For my blessing but I'm gonna go so far as saying that I am overwhelmed by. My blessings, too. And. I just want to encourage you guys that if you. If. You. Feeling. Overwhelmed, or feeling. Like sad are, feeling inadequate feeling. Not appreciated, feeling, not good enough for like your time is running out. If. You're feeling like that I'm, not gonna tell you that the, way you're feeling isn't valid I'm not gonna say my mom's gonna be fine it's gonna be fine I'm gonna say you know what it is hard. It's. Really hard. This. Is a really, tough season, your. Feelings are valid and you. Are. Allowed to feel exactly how you feel without anyone making you feel bad. I'm. So tired of not feeling. Like. I'm allowed to feel the way I feel like, it's wrong white. Just. Because I'm overwhelmed, with my kids. Doesn't. Mean I wouldn't, mind having another one just. Because I'm overwhelmed, with, how much mothering, it takes. And. How how, how. Overwhelming. It can be doesn't, mean I don't appreciate them it, doesn't mean I'm not thankful it doesn't mean that I wouldn't get my life for them it, just means that it's hard and, it's. Allowed to be hard, it. Just means that I'm. Allowed to be overwhelmed, by my blessings. That's. What that means so if you're a mama or. You're anybody, and, you've got something you're going through in your life, you. Are allowed, to be overwhelmed. By your blessings and still. Appreciate. Your blessings, and still love your blessings, you're, allowed to be overwhelmed by them you're, allowed to need a breather you're. Allowed to need a break you are, allowed, to feel, exactly, how you feel. It. Is okay, it. Is okay. Because. That's how I've been feeling lately. Just. Flip it around and. I. Am the type of person like we're. Not there something, going on I don't, wallow, I'm. Like alright how are we gonna fix it. Sometimes. You. Need a good cry I've had that for two days sometimes. You. Need to dream a little that's what I've been doing sometimes, you need to think about what. You want. To do with your future in your life you need to figure out, how. To be proactive or, nothing, so overwhelmed, what is it that's making you overwhelmed, why, is it making you overwhelmed, what can you do to prevent that overwhelm, what can you do to help. Guide, you through the feelings, so. I don't. Know what that may be for you I don't, know if it's a self-care. Day I, don't, know if it's like having your husband cook one day and, clean and. Put the kids to bed you just totally like check out no we can't do that all the time but, if it's every once in a while and you need that for yourself, help ask, your husband I don't know I don't know what that means for you but. I'm just letting you know but, if you feel overwhelmed -, by your life right now no matter what you're going through you're allowed to feel that way don't let anyone make you feel guilty, for the way you feel you can love your life and be overwhelmed. Let's. Finish getting these first results talking. About overwhelm have, y'all ever tried this calms it's, like a magnesium, supplement. I'm. Gonna give it a shot and, what I just took. And. What I just like. Very. Free cookies, I. Want. To eat my emotions, away my, feelings I want to bake cookies with my kids and I want to enjoy them. Hot. Cocoa. Preacher with cream I want to enjoy my family, and.

Yet. Still. Be allowed to feel the way I feel. So. The, Chocolate Chunk cookies. The. Holiday, blends coffee. Isabel, and Chris like this drew, and I like this some. Hummus talkable, and Caesar, salad it's broccoli, Turkey, snacks I know super, healthy Jimmy. Dean sausages, natural, I'm doing something right, Heinz, ketchup. This. I'm gonna make I'm going to put, some chicken and the crock-pot so. Whipped, cream. Right. Here I just I did that to, get my camera to focus that's when you know you're on your camera your phone too much when, you do that trying. To get it to focus okay. Melatonin. Excuse, me melatonin, if your kids won't go to sleep and you're about to Hersman Bobby that's. Quick when you really love them and you think all right let's be nice be a good mommy my. Creamer. Because. I bought these for the kids but really there for me and red potatoes. Because. There, I go again tap there. There, we go for. Cocoa, bar candy. Canes. Because. You can eat a million of them and it's. Not a lot of sugar for, your kids and yogurt. That is my amazing. Now. I'm gonna get my crop cut out and I'm gonna do some barbeque chicken because. Everybody. In my family eats barbecue chicken. That's. Really bright hold on. Christmas. If I did not get out. For. The Christmas home tour and there's something about me that just doesn't care like. There's. Just been so much going on lately I just. Sometimes. Being. Productive, is taking, a break because you know if you can go, ahead and take that break then you'll be more productive when you get up sometimes, I will set an alarm on my phone and turn. The. Notifications. Off everything off like silent sit but, set an alarm and that way I will lay down for, 15-20. Minutes. Absolutely. Zero distractions. None. And. I. Don't fall asleep but. Just resting, my mind, 10. To 20 minutes it's. So good for me so I'm going to start putting some clothes away. I. Did. Not get to the tree farm like I wanted to because, I chilled and, I told you I haven't been feeling too. Emotionally. Great the, past few days, and so I'm gonna allow myself to do that so like, I said I'm putting, on my laundry actually, folded. This laundry first thing this morning. The, kids are looking for a jacket cuz it's like 60, so to them they're freezing. Cuz. It folded it and like except. That's. What I'm gonna write, on the floor. Cuz. I gotta straighten up their room anyway. It's. My night to put the kids to bed and I always clean their room before. I do this so I'm just gonna go ahead and tackle that now, and. I'm starving. So, I am eating. Thanksgiving. Dinner again. Somebody. Asked me how I lose weight, honestly. I stopped eating when I'm full that's pretty much it I don't. Prevent. Myself from eating. Anything if I want it I have it. Brownies. Cakes cookies, a lot of it I have, it however. If. I know that. I'm gonna be eating on the heavier side, say. I know I feel it's a hibachi last. Week I knew. That so I ate light during the day Wow, mostly. Because I really really wanted to eat that food but, I'm. Very mindful, when I eat. Put. This look forward to I, would. Consider myself a very mindful, year. So. Then, I try to be active today I wasn't active but, I plan on riding the bike tonight. We. Thank, you. I. Can't. Breathe, without, charm. My. Kids I made, them some cookies because, you know what sometimes, you gotta have some cookies and, I want to do that wrecking it I love making them a little desserts and stuff and those cookies if you guys are gluten-free dairy-free they're the best. And. I did a quick little tidy, I still need to do their room I'm gonna do that when I get back but I, got a lot of stuff done off of my to-do list so I'm happy and the house feels put together which makes me happy dinners.

In The crock-pot so today's. Been a good day and. Honestly if it's not a good day do what you got to do to make it a good, day that, is one of my biggest. Things there, is no perfection here, we're. All scraping. Off our, burnt cookie pieces off of the pan, just, like the next month no, perfection so I hope. You guys appreciate real. Life and. Their. Realness goes, I don't, have all my stuff together I got, a whole bunch of stuff but it ain't together so, let. Me go get these babies and. We will finish our day you guys. You. Want a cookie. Yeah. Just. Go for it just eat one for now just one for now. Shut. It give me your face. Good. Oh yeah. Did. You really good to. Boy. It's been a while since we talked and. My hands get nervous I, get. It others on and on I can't. No I, just. Gotta know where you are if, I want to remain sane, but. You go sit in a texting, car oh, no. You. Could. Be running off, with, somebody else. Oh. Boy. I ask myself. Yeah. Maybe. You're, just off doing, what you said oh, I. Think I. Tell. Me what's the holdup baby, tell. Me why you balls off. Grazie. But. I think I'm moving it. Are. You being honest with me. This way, query. But I think I'm losing it. It I think I'm moving it by I. Think. I'm a linen I think I'm losing it I think I'm moving it. I've, been staring at my phone too long. Am I getting tired and. The, batteries, are gone. There's. I'm be honest and let me like, I can't wrap my head around it. You, said you when I want men to be. You. Could. Be running off, with, somebody else, oh. Boy. Myself. Yeah. You're just stop doing. What I said. Tell. Me what's up. Your. Phone's off. But, I think I'm losing it. Tell me where your heart is. Are, you being honest, with me. I wanna go this break, ready but. I think I'm losing it. It I think I'm losing it. I. Think I'm. From. Agony. But. Without, you it's, hard to keep my thoughts clean, there, is all kinds all that I had, the. Dishwasher. Ready to go so everyone just put their plates in there and there's really minimal, stuff that needs to be done. Shall. We get focused yeah, really minimal stuff at a speed I felt good. I'm. Nobody. So I'm gonna go wash my face real quick buddy I'm gonna go wash my face would you like me to start a bath for you and then I'm gonna do about thirty minutes on the bike because I owe that to myself and I've, been feeling tired, more more throughout the day so I know I need to get back on the bike so I'm gonna take you guys real quick and show you some. Of the stuff I use for my things because. I've had actually. Quite a few people ask which. I'm really appreciative, probably not with this on my face but. You guys have asked so what's. There. She'll be liked all right let me wash my face and then I'll show you I wash my face I want to show you guys this this was actually gifted, to me.

They, Sent this to me to try out and I've been trying it out for a couple of weeks because I will always test, it before time you guys anything and I, did a full demonstration on, my Instagram, but, this stuff is amazing, you, show to you comes in the most beautiful, gold, packaging. Let. Me see if I can. Go. And, take. Your top off and it has a coolest. Little brush I mean they're, cool, this little brush you see and you. You, just. Yes. That's clean baby you just pump the bottom of it so I'll just show you real quick I do. Too and I'm gonna show you what it looks like a mop alarm well. I guess I could show you under my eye hold on so I've actually got you guys set up here on, some towels but. I did a full demonstration on. My, um, Instagram. So obviously, this is like a date see how already how bright it is under there I'm, anything right now my, face but you see how bright it is under my eyes eternity, it's so much brighter and off you can even do it like a little bit on your chair. I. Love. It and like I said this was gifted to me it. Is the prettiest, color is, as such, a nice brightness, to me. Pretty. Like, I said I'll always try things out. I, love. For nature. Wash. My face I don't use any type of special, thanks. Wash there's, some Neutrogena, sprout and then, I do. Kind. Of a lot to my face if, you want like a detailed, explanation on, what I used on my skin and let the process, would. You guys want me to do that in next Tuesday's, video so it'll be another like, busy super productive to-do, list taco you're trimming this vlog. Like today but, at the end I could do like a whole paper routine, I'll show you that I use like this sucker on my face. Sometimes. I do micro needling like a dermabrasion at home but. If I'm, not doing all of that but, it's time for me to do that yet. How-use. Sunday, Riley. Good. Genes it's, not picking up pretty well have on. Sunday. Riley good genes and I'll put this. I'll. Put that up scary I'll put this all over my skin and then, I follow up with a moisturizer I, am out of my city. Beauty City lip City Beauty moisturizer. So. Which. Is my rider diamond, a baby bump rider die favorite thing in the whole world but I'm out so. I, have, just been making. So. I'll just use confidence. In a cream from it cosmetics. Hold. On please and, then. I have what that pose and I'm going to use like this clean and clearing this up is really good my, skin is available right now honestly. So. That's. What I do but if you want like a detail, like. Whole night pamper, routine what I do to, like, make. My skin look the way I look which. Obviously. Not like this I have, this like sucker, thing it sucks out all the junk in the nose it's. Got a microdermabrasion. Kit I also do. Micro. Needling, which I can show you that as well so. You gotta let me know yes to paper routine, for. Next Tuesday, and I'll make that how about you yes, sir. That. Is called body wash don't use anymore about hey buddy put. Some in your hands and wash your body so, I, just. Washed my face like I said because I'm going to work out a little bit and I'm, not gonna want to work out with makeup on my face and the. Lip is getting a little better musk eyes are itchy my. Face is feeling really tight maybe it's cuz it's getting cold outside. Just. A little but this one must face will be, red, my face is you. I, do like, Serafini. Moisturizer. I like that a lot. Just. To make it stop yeah, buddy. This. Camera well, it's one of my other one this. Is not no you. May you better be so careful, with that thing. This. Has a professional wind so yes but. Put it back where it started go. So. Yeah I'm gonna put. This oh, no why so irritated I. Always. Do. It in upward motion like this. Behind. The ears and, bring. It all the way to the neck listen. Ladies even. If you were in your early 20s, early. 30s. Just. Even in your early 20s you guys have got to start taking care of your neck and, your, chest in, the back of your hands it, is the first, thing that shows Amy when, a woman bled her.

Face Could be looking amazing, but. You look on the back of her hands I always take my residual. Product and do this and the, chest shows. Age you, see mine, has. Some lines in it so. When I do my micro-needling. Microdermabrasion. I go, all the way down has, I've been burned like in vice versa now now. Let. Me wash your body. They. Man. Is. A. Team. That's. Right. That's. Like this is a family where, we eat strong but as, a family together as a team we're stronger right. They'd. Be normal. What. Is the problem. Daddy's. Okay. I did 20 minutes on. The bike wearing. This I'm telling you I cannot bus I just have to get out and do it and, then I did a bunch of lunges and squats and. Girl. Leave the shows. But. I want to show you I'm going to be defusing, tonight some. Frankincense. For some emotional, support before, it knows I need it, some. Frankincense. There's. A Christmas spirit, yes. This. Is the desert mists and it is my favorite. You guys are. Interested in that I'm gonna put it in my description. Box so, I was doing a Marco and. I like to talk I why they listen to Marco's or. San. Marcos when I am on the, bike that makes that go by really fast and, I. Was. Talking about some stuff that I've had that has happened recently and. I've. Got emotional, my eyes are SuperDuper, red, but. I'm kind of glad because. After. Talking about everything that we've talked about today I, kind. Of want to end this vlog like, on. A really. Real. Moment, with, you guys. So. Cute I, don't. Know. You. Know lately I've really been struggling with. Feeling. Adequate. Feeling. Appreciated, feeling. Good enough and. More. Times than not I don't feel. Good. Enough adequate. Appreciate. It and I. Think. Any mother could. Attest. To that, you, know mothering. Is hard it is one of the greatest blessings, of my life but it's hard and. More. Times than not I've, to go to bed feeling like a failure, feeling. Guilty. Replaying. The day on how I could have changed things. No. It's just it's just not easy. And. One of the things that I have been trying to do lately is literally. Read. Y. Re, work. My, thoughts because, so many things negative. Things in our lives that, we. Deal with stem. From thoughts thought you have every single day you don't even realize, these thoughts and the, way we talk to ourselves is. So much worse and we would talk to a friend or our children, isn't it. We, would tell our friend would tell attrition you don't you, don't accept less you're. Powerful, you're wonderful. You're loved you're. Sufficient. You're smart. You're. Capable of, big things. Dream, big do big all of the things right. But. To us to ourselves or like you're stupid. You're. Not a good mom you're not a good wife. You're. Failing. What's. Wrong with you you're lazy and. You. Know that's true you know that's. True. But. I am trying because a lot of things have happened. In. My life but. You know I want to say recently but reality is all the time so, we're actually. Never. Going to never, going to be like that one over there that comparison. Game is like sickening. We. All do it and. If you've learned how. Not to do it please let me know your secret, I'd love I'd love to know your secret but. It's hard and whether we're comparing ourselves with the moms down the street feeding your kids all the healthy stuff or. The. Super amazing. Dedicated. Organized, homeschool, mom or the PTA mom or. The. Youtuber, whose channels going crazy and, everyone loves them and there's providing, all their families dreams or, the, Instagram, mom has the perfect house or. Whatever. There's. Like comparison. I feel. Like we can only really, compare, ourselves to others we don't feel like we're good enough but. If we just take time, every, single day in, capture. Those thoughts, literally.

When. The thoughts come into your head try to say something to combat them and that's what I've been trying to do I have. Really. Been working hard I'm trying to just be like you, know you're not good enough yes I am I ain't good enough you're. Not good like that mom yes I am I am, just as good, I am, the best mother that my kids could have I am. I coming exactly, what my kids need. Every. Day I try and work and show up for them you know what I mean does, that mean that they got it perfectly organic, made from scratch meal no. But. It meant I showed up and that. Meat might mean cookies today and that. Might mean a load, of laundering that didn't get folded tomorrow. But. The love for. My family is the same. And. Most, of all in those days where, the cookies aren't baked and the laundry's not folded, folded. And, you're, not really feeling like you're on top of your game or. Your business isn't as good as the next person's business or, you're, not feeling the growth like the other person just. Remembering. That. It, is okay and to give yourself grace. Because. If you can't expect, the world to, give you grace if you can't get it to yourself, I. Took. A nap today and, I. Can honestly sad what I felt guilty about that a long time ago but I have learned. Taking. My little 10-minute lay. Down nap don't. Even sleep, makes. Me more productive for the rest of the day, so. Instead of beating myself up that what kind of mom needs a nap I did. Not I. Made. It a cup of coffee but I didn't, drink it I saved. It and, I laid down for about 10 minutes, arrested. In my mind and, my eyes from, everything, and I, was more productive for the rest of the day so. The old me would have been like you lazy. Piece. Of crap what are you doing but. The new me and me. I'm trying to be the best version of myself it's like you get that back, that. Turned. Down time that lights off time for. Your mind and your body and your eyes and. When, it's time it's go time again, and not. Met my kids roll with tablet, they, sure. They. Were on that tablet. But, when mommy got up we got back to business, and, you know what I'm not gonna feel guilty about it because I am a better mom for it I am, a better mom what, you're saying look I need this for today it's not every day but, today I needed, this and my kids attend to themselves for a moment and I was a better more productive or loving, or calm and patient, mom and maybe a, lot.

Of My fuses, done. So. I want, to in this vlog which is letting you know that. We're. In this together, and, I hope that I, encourage, you and I, hope you when. You watch my, blogs or, my channel you've your lives that there is no room for perfection, over. Here I hope to inspire you and I hope to motivate you but more than that I hope, that I remind, you that you're not alone and, we're in this together whether you have one kid no, kids and empty nest or 25 kids. Whether. You, were in any, season just know that you're not alone and, it's, hard and life is hard and there's no excuse, for it it's just hard you know what let's, let, it be hard together so. That's, kind, of why, I put myself out here it's hard I don't, like being vulnerable but. More and. Then, I don't like being vulnerable I don't like being that someone's out there thinking that they're not good enough, they're, not they have nobody because, as long as you are on my channel and you have me and if. You, guys. Leave me comments, and my heart them I can't, always reply. But. If I heart it I read. It, and. If you ask me a question I'll, respond. But. I just let you guys know more and more comment to coming in which I'm so thankful for but. If I heart your comment, that means I have loved it that means I've read it that means that I see, you, you. Are irreplaceable you, are worthy you. Are valuable, and you are loved and while you're on my channel you are family so I. Hope you guys enjoyed this let, me know about next Tuesday do you want like a pamper, routine type of thing I'll go through the whole face stuff. And let. Me know what else you guys want to see on my channel but. I just appreciate you guys being here I appreciate you showing up for me um I. Just appreciate, you I just appreciate, you more than you ever know and I just want you guys to know that so if. You guys are new here, I'm so happy you hung out here today go ahead and hit that subscribe button before, you go make. Sure you hit that notification bill all of its free it just let you know when I have new postings, so I love, you guys so much and, the. Holidays hardly, we're. Going to do this together. Totally. Imperfect just. Taking, all of our mess all of our hot mess and showing up anyways I'm. Gonna go take a shower so I can put my babies to bed, life. Is short I love you guys.

2019-12-06 22:53

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Awww Lynn I can relate. After we lost Charlotte my husband was dead set against another baby, and it broke my heart. I blamed him, it got really ugly. But I also understood that his feelings are just as valid as mine are. I even went looking for puppies too! Ultimately that changed for us because he was wanting another baby but was really scared after our loss. But it was so hard because what is the compromise? I hope y’all work it out ❤️ I wish you were closer, you so come cuddle with mine ❤️ love ya girl

I really needed to hear that speech about feeling overwhelmed! Thank you!

Girl, I so wish we lived near each other cause I get you girl. I sooo get you. But trust me, once that first one gets out... You will be counting down the days til they all leave! No, seriously, the first one is hard but it gets easier. And what I found once they were gone was me. I found me. Not Hannah's mom, nit Bryanna's mom, Dan's wife.... But me. I had lived for everyone else for so long that I no longer knew who I was. And guess what? I like me. I like hanging out with me. So hang in there. And one day, you can just relax and look forward to Grandbabies (which is also hard!). Nothing but love sweetheart...

Totally get being thankful and overwhelmed by your blessings best statement ever xxx

Yes I have tried calm ! It has helped me a lot at times. Makes me feel relaxed, sometimes a little sleepy, well I guess CALM

Aww Lynn, this got me emotional ! I think about that all the time, I will be a complete wreck when my kids get older and leave ! What ?! No baby or puppy

you are a great and funny person! watching your videos from Holland! yes to a night pampering routine !! love your videos!❤

M’y eldest is 24 today and she’s a mum too so we don’t have much time with each other but when she come to visit it’s always special. Just enjoy the next chapter of your life I found being a Nanie is better than a mum you get all the hugs and love and hardly none of the tantrums

Loved this so so much!!! Love you

Thank you for sharing and keeping it real. I love that about your channel. Praying for you and your family ❤

Thank you for being so real

Hi Lynn :) I REALLY like this vlog style video. More of these, please! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings

Thank you Lynn. I really needed to hear that.. My daughter is 19... the last 2 years have been struggles every day ... bless you.

Life is hard

Having a rough few days, rocking a teething little one now and I needed to hear your message at the end. Subscribing

hun if you waited till you could afford a baby as my nan of 22 kids said no one would have them.

Honey you look fine and if someone don't like it don't look.And if you need to cry hun let it out we may cry with ya.

U r awesome take things one day at a time things will get better just keep your head up being a mom we are allowed to feeling the way we want to life is hard

Love your Vlogs, I needed to hear everything you said today. Thank you xx

I love the vlog style, it really makes me feel connected to you and your channel! I know the longing in your heart for a baby. We have infertility and have a 2 year old and have been trying since he was born and no luck! Also where did you get those glass canisters?

Lynn, I discovered your videos about 6 months ago. You are soooo inspiring to me, you are so true to us and to yourself. Love you.

Your video helped so much today! I am 26 & raising 4 babies. 2 of which are my nieces. Working full time, and trying to do school full time. I'm comfortable in my life financially and securely, but mentally & emotionally I'm on an entirely different level. It's amazing to hear someone say, 'its ok.'

Again, I relate. Its scary how fast time is going .

You are doing a great job! And with getting your deserved feelings out you are helping others!!

You're so cute, coldsore & all. I know you want another baby & you get all those might have another baby & in 2 yrs decide you have all those feelings again. Sometimes when girls move out they get closer to their moms I'm not being critical, just food for thought. I longed for children when I was younger but God never blessed me with my own. I had nieces & nephews who I was very, very close to & am so grateful for them. Mary

Thank you for this video. You are strong and wonderful and keep moving forward. ❤❤

Love love LOVE this! I watched every second and loved the realness! Not only does it help you not feel so alone but you're helping others struggling as well. You're such an amazing human Lynn

Love these kind of videos and how your real. I see a lot that are not real and you know they can’t be perfect but it still somehow makes me feel like I don’t have it together so yes I’m glad your showing your “real” side. And Yes, would love to see a skincare vlog!!

Dogs/puppies bring so much happiness! Look into fostering puppies/ dogs. I have a labardoodle and he is hyopalergenic and very well trained. Helps when you want a dog but can financially keep one!

Yass thank you so much for your words I can relate so much

So inspiring, Friend! You are #goals

I know how you feel both my girls are out of the house and it's very depressing. My son is 18 and he's going to the Airforce when he graduates. It's hard for me this year because this may be the last Christmas I have all 3 of them home.

Thanks for being real, relatable and encouraging, love you and your videos.

I love you so much! I needed this video today! You make me want to be better for my little tomorrow. Hugs mama! ❤️❤️❤️

This real raw friends talking video has been my favorite most relatable video yet.

Lol! You crack me up!

I understand on all levels. I'll keep it short, know that I'm praying for you, and you are a very special woman.

Girl, God gave you the words I needed to hear ! Thank you for letting him speak through you. My only girl will be graduating in the next year and doesn’t need her momma like she use to and I’ll be home with all the boys and I’ve been Longing for another girl but know that won’t be finically possible for another year or two and I’m 34 so the time is ticking and my partner is on the baby fence and so the sadness , longing and confused of what the future will be is been weighing me down and watching it the first part of the video made me cry a cry I didn’t think I deserve to have because I’m so blessed . So thank you

Lynn, I just found your channel and love it! I know exactly how you are feeling. I wanted #4 for about 3 years before my husband FINALLY got on board...only to find out after trying for over a year that I had secondary infertility. I was crushed but hubby immediately offered up foster care. I was willing to adopt but not through foster care with the risk of the baby/child going back home. But after lots of prayer that is where God called us. 7 months later we got a call for a 6 day baby boy that we brought home from the hospital. It was a long 18 months before adoption but I knew when he was placed in my arms that he was going to be my son forever. Around the same time, my oldest was going away to college. I also had her at 19 so I completely understand that you feel you grew up together because I feel that way too. I felt like a body part had been ripped from my body. She is finishing up her last year of medical school and married but will finally be home next year after 8 long years. I am counting down the days! Hang in there, momma. There are plenty of others that feel the same way you do.

I love your realness. You are amazing and I’m sending you my love and thoughts. We all can take away your great message of trying to treat ourselves better.

You're not alone Lynn every woman goes to take a bath and cries while they get a bath or shower. Thnk you for being so honest and down to earth.

I just wanted to say thank for this video specially. I am a single mother of two 8yr old boy, and a 15yr old girl. Working full time job. I so needed to hear that message. I'm in the worst season yet and so needed this. Hugs.

Girl I totally get where you are coming from... I have 5 children. They are all grown with families of there own now. I was sad when they younger, thinking my life was going to end without my babies but now I’m enjoying and blessed with this next chapter of my life. And I’m still learning your children will always need you no matter how old they are or where they live.... hang in there girly. It gets better.

Sending you a big hug! sorry your struggling. I'll say prayers for you! Yes to pamper routine!

Your comments about gender disappointment are right on! I totally agree on that one. I hope you get what your heart desires. Thanks so much for your raw honesty. Really enjoy your channel! Love from San Antonio TX! ❤️❤️❤️

Yes!! It’s about time that we are allowed to feel what we feel without judgment.

Lynn, I know what you mean when you talk about your daughter. I had my 1st daughter when I was 21 and she always hung around the grown ups and has you said we grew up together. She was my best friend and now that she's 40, she wants very little to do with me and it hurts.

Oh no!! That breaks my heart. I just want to hug you.

Keep up with the realness. I think most people appreciate that. ❤️

I know what you feel like. I’m also 37 about to be 38 in two weeks and I have a 2.5 yr old, & a 15 month old both girls, I want to try one more time for a boy, but my husband isn’t onboard. Hugs mama!

Thank you for always keeping it real. Hugs!

My oldest is 23 21 15 and 13 all girls I felt the same way but when my husband and I started dating and enjoying each other and focusing on my career my baby fever went away because I wanted a little boy so bad. Girl I don’t even know how to measure a little boys waste lol love you girl #LynnforyoutubePresident

Thank you so much for being you that’s my new saying for 2020 I got a lot of stuff but I don’t have it all together stay the same and never change you are a great mom and my FAVORITE YouTuber I’m a mom of 4 and I understand 100% God’s Blessings are all on you

You are my friend and I appreciate you is much!!

I loved today's video. Can relate to most of the things you were saying.

We’re in this together. ❤️

Omg I have been feeling like a failure as a mother. I feel like it’s not enough hours in the day. I am also a mother of 5 age 4months to 9 years. I feel so overwhelmed but everyone around is like suck it up! I’m struggled but i’m not giving up!

Just from personal isnt over when your daughter leaves. It is just a different type of bonding.

Hey girl! I know completely how you feel about your daughter leaving home. Mine daughter almost 22 and lives 12 hours away and my son is 17 and is a senior this year leaving for college 11 hours away August 2020. I would love to see your face routine Tuesday. I have super sensitive skin on my face and haven’t found anything that I can use yet that doesn’t cause me to break out. Hang in there girl and remember we have cell phones and FaceTime/video chat to stay close to our kids ❤️

I know exactly how you feel! When my daughter went off to college (Go Gators) we felt like she was just spending the night at a friends house. The more time went by, it felt more real. I couldn’t even go into her bedroom for a month with out lying on her bed crying and feeling sorry for myself. It’s hardest when your baby bird has to spread their wings and fly. My son is turning 16 this year and I feel like i’m suffocating underneath the weight of time. Hang in, you’re a tough lil mama. XOXO

momma where the chicken?

Girl...I wished I lived close to ya..I need someone to cry and laugh at the same time!

Sonny’s sweet sauce is my favorite too!


I love how you had a fuck it moment while downing some vitamins!!!! Lmao girlll come on you are so great I love you!!

You’re amazing! Love ya back!!

Amen sista! Hope you feel better!

Your best vlog so far

Just subscribed and I would love to see your routine!

This video was so needed...I’m a stay at home Mom of 5 kiddos. This last week I’ve really struggled with “sahm depression” most of my friends kids are all school age so they work and I have a 1&2 year old (that I love staying home with) but it’s sooo lonely since everyone I know works outside the home. I know it’s just this stage of life and I know they grow so fast so I’m trying to just soak up every moment but some days I just NEED adult interaction. Thanks so much for letting me know I’m not alone

Wow Lynn - You must have been looking into my life when you made this - I have been going through this for weeks (and years). No children here except for steps and I have no communications with them or the grandchildren. My entire family has abandoned me because of my narcissistic sister who was the golden child growing up and made me the scapegoat. Even my cousins and nieces and nephews have zero to do with me and my parents (who were narcissists) have been gone over 20 years. I am nearly 72 and been on anti-depressants and anxiety meds since my 20's. My family considered me crazy since I was getting medical help for their actions towards me. I don't do Thanksgiving or Christmas with anyone but my husband of 32 years does. So it's me by myself. THis is not to upset you or anyone, I just told you a while back I would share with you but, thankfully, just know you have a friend here who understands the forces other have over your life. It's up to you to love you and your friends here love you so much and appreciate your openess(sp) ,I am basically out of time. Poor health but just would love to see your dreams answered. Love you so much sweet lady. Would you please post your post office address again? Hugs!!

Amazing video!! Your right, life is hard some days. We lost my father on Oct. 18 of this year & the last year was very hard on him, he was very sick. He constantly said he didn't feel like he had been a good Dad because he had to work A LOT when we were growing up. I'm the oldest of 6 kids & our mom was a SAHM, so he worked a lot to support us all. He felt because he hadn't been able to do a lot with us that he hadn't been a good Dad. He did work A LOT but he was the BEST Dad. He wasn't the Dad that hung out with us all weekend long doing things or taking us places but he LOVED us & he was there for us when we needed him. I think every parent feels inadequate at some point because it is hard but we need to keep in mind that even though we are not perfect in everything we do, we perfectly love our children & we are there for them when they need us. I will miss my Dad for the rest of my life for the perfect love that he had for me & none of the other things that weren't "perfect" matter. That love will be what your children will remember. I did not have "perfect" parents or a "perfect" life but I was perfectly loved.

I really can't thank you enough for this video. So much of what you said I needed to hear. Most days for me is being upset over everything and just needing a break. Thank you so much.❤

You are so right about being there for each other. Life is Hard. Let it be hard together.

I loved this style of video. I am growing to dislike the over edited videos. I really felt like I was hanging out with a girl friend today.


Love you so much girl! And I am the same way with wanting a girl. My husband says yes and then his mind changes or something happens. You got this!!❤

Yaaaaaaas girl! I have been in a really bad emotional place to and all I can say is YES to it all! Thanks for being so real and completely relatable! After this vlog..I feel like we are besties girl!

I needed this today. Thank you for keeping it real. ♥️

You are an amazing person!

There are different seasons of our lives, some are good, some are bad, but God will get us throughout all. I love how real you are! I think you are amazing!

Sending love and support

You are an AMAZING Woman and I love you keep those videos coming

Yes!! My kids are older.. 21, 18, 16 and 11 and it’s bittersweet to see them grow up and out. I became a mom at 18 and I’m 40 now and being their mom is basically all I’ve ever known. It’s tough to think how I relate to them will change and that I won’t be involved in every part of their lives.

I love this type of content MORE than the "perfect" content. This sh*t is hard!!! Love you Lynn!!!

I am hoping that your channel remains intact in light of the changes that You Tube will implement. We need to continue to encourage one another.

I absolutely love this video. I needed to hear so much of what you said. More than I probably even realized. Sending light and love your way!

Definitely, do more of you videos to have all your responsibilities and look as good as you do. we all need some Lynn instructors❤️❤️

I have 5girls:)14-12-10-6-3 years Old. When they are todlers they are sweet but now its hard :)))) but i love my girls all my heart...... :)))

Girl! Life IS hard. And sometimes it’s harder than other times. But we’ve got this! Life is better when we know it’s good! Even boring can be great! Hang in there!! (((HUGS))) ❤️❤️❤️

I wish I could jump through this screen and give you the biggest hug ever. I have told you before that you are my fave and this video is exactly why. You are real and open and honest even when you're at your lowest. You will be in my prayers and somehow I know it will get better for you.

You're speaking to my soul today, I want another baby, hubs isn't feeling it.

Omg Girl! My oldest is 17 as well and she’ll be going to college soon. I too feel the same you do about her leaving! I can’t even think about it without crying!

Oh my goodness, this made me cry. My daughters are 10 and 5. Makes me wanna cherish the time I have with them now.

I am in Florida too. Wasn't the cold front amazing?? A breath of fresh air outside and in your life.

Loved this video..... appreciate your openness sending you a

I struggle with a lot you talked about Lynn. Thanks for being so real!! I appreciate you! I just remind myself when I compare that everybody has something going on in their life. Nobody is perfect no matter the persona they put on. I’d like another baby too but my son has many needs & it wouldn’t be fair. It’s hard & I feel I miss out on a lot. I have bad days. We have to let ourselves feel those feelings but we can’t live forever in them.

This is what I needed today! You always speak to my heart and post videos exactly when I need to see it. Thank you so much. You've helped me get through so much and I am so greatful!

Thank you so much for sharing today. I’m new-ish, but I just wanted to say hi and thanks for chatting today. Mom life is hard and it’s good to know we aren’t alone. ♥️

"I am strong. I am special I can do anything. Sometimes life throws hurdles in our path, but we just have to keep on going full speed ahead, looking inside ourselves for the courage to leap over them and never look back. Always believe in yourself as much as others believe in you" Feel free to share or write this down to help you

The first part of this video hit home for me so hard. My kids are 23, 21, 18, 16 and 13. There’s isn’t a day that goes by that my heart doesn’t long for another baby. The choice to stop was not my decision, and I totally get where you’re coming from. I absolutely love your videos.

Girl. I feel you. I have always loved babies. We have 4 kids. Our oldest is 14, a boy, 13 a boy, 10 a girl and 7 a boy. Our seven year old has Spastic Quad CP. He is 100% dependent on me. He cannot sit, or walk. He uses an eye gaze communicator but says a few things like home and I love you. I am homeschooling him. If I did not have him home with me I would be lost. I am a mama. That is who I am. Time flew and my babies are growing up. My sweet Drew though he needs his mama. My sweet girl would love a sister. But my husband is done. I am so thankful for my kids and love each stage but mourn for what's behind us. Hugs mama.

I understand completely!!! I feel the same way!! I'm about to turn 50 in April and I realized my life is likely more than half over. It makes me sad! I do understand how hard it is to be not live in the same state as your only daughter. My daughter lives in Ohio. I live in Knoxville, Tennessee. I miss her every day! I'm excited that I get to go back home to Ohio & spend 3 weeks with her! You're in my thoughts and prayers!! Love you sweet lady!!

I get it Lynn, my baby is graduating in June & she’s our only! (Couldn’t have anymore)

Then you are beautiful no matter cold sore or not but about your topic that you're talking about having another baby I'm at the nail salon getting my nails done and I'm watching your video and listening to you and I can totally relate I am one of those people that is going through the same exact thing that you are going through though my partner that I've been with for going on 17 years the father of my children which I have for we both are trying to have a fifth baby and we have had no luck now I have to say when you said but I don't want to have any babies at 40 I literally started crying because you were like my time is running out and I am 40 I don't know where my thirties went? But it breaks my heart because I don't want to close this chapter in my life I want to have another baby I don't care how old I am cuz I don't feel 40 I feel 35 I don't know how to express how I'm feeling we have been trying for the past 18 months now with no luck my periods are abnormal I never used to be I mean I get it. It lasts usually five to six days then I started getting two periods in one month and then I would get my. And it would be 4 days long Now we're trying to have a baby and then just last month my period Was late for 32 days I literally thought I was pregnant my man thought I was pregnant. so I took a pregnancy test and of course it comes out negative another negative and I cried my eyes out and then and when it came it was only like 3 days long it left a week later I get my. Again it's only 3 days long it ended a whole day went by no. And then the very next day I have a little bit of spotting going on and it last for another two days my. Has never in my entire life ever been 34 days late unless I was pregnant I feel like my body is going through menopause or something I just don't understand and it's breaking my heart cuz I want to have another baby but I also feel like my time is up and I hate it and I feel like I have nothing else to live for being a mom has always been my calling the only thing I'm really good at I love my four children I have now but I feel like they're growing up so quickly and my oldest son is now 16 years-old and I know it's just a matter of a time he's going to be gone. A my daughter my oldest daughter cuz I have two daughters is one year younger than my oldest son so she's pretty much got one foot out the door on his heels and then all I'm going to have left are my two other children which are 10 + 7 I know it won't be long they will be grown up and gone as well and then I will have nothing nobody and I will just end up sitting around waiting for grandchildren. sorry I'm rambling on but this is just such a topic that I don't have anyone really to talk toabout this. I don't have any outside friends I don't have any family members left. I'm not giving up I'm trying to stay positive and have hope that I'll get my miracle baby at age 40 cuz I have read that many women have children at 40 and that's the and that's the only thing that I have to keep me going I spoke with a woman in the nail salon today and she was talking about her one-year-old granddaughter and she says this probably the only grandchild she'll get cuz she has one daughter and she's 39 it made me sad but then it made me think if her daughter had a baby at 39 what's to say I can't have one at 40 so anyhow your video made me doubt myself and it made me very sad but then when I spoke to this other woman she gave me Faith and Hope that maybe it's not too late for me and I'm going to keep trying

What a amazing video, you are a special lady, I needed this today. Love all your videos, thanks so much. Lots of love for you.

Love watching you ,I think your the only one I watch who keeps it real life is hard sometimes

Have you guys considered Fostering?

I am, I am REALLY entertaining it lately.

You always speak to my heart and I am so greatful! Thank you so much for sharing today. This is what I needed!

I read through some of the comments here and I don’t see any regarding your empty womb feelings. They are so normal and it’s so hard to accept that your life is coming to a crossroad. No pkaritudes or suggestions from me. Just know that you will find your way through this. Your already doing it.

You are my absolute favorite YouTuber!! Thank you so much for being so real and honest! I look forward to all of your videos! Much love from a very inperfect mom of 4

You are an awesome person! Love your videos!!!

So needed this. I've never seen any of your videos but somehow I came across this and your talk was just exactly what I needed!

I'm sorry I sent that to quick but I love babies! And I would love to have a little girl. I absolutely love my boys but I would love a baby girl. I wanted to adopt and my husband said no and I was heart broken! I get so depressed this time of year missing my mom and brother And I miss my brother who is still alive but he lives in California so I don't see him much. I was told at a very young age I probably never have kids and it broke my heart cause I knew way back then I wanted children. Then I got with my oldest sons dad and he was 12 years older than me and he thought he couldn't have kids so w never tried to not have kids well God blessed me! I was only 19 and your right cause I grew up,with him. Then I had 2 miscarriages and 1 was twins so I was heart broken them I'm not with my husband now and God blessed me with another son. I had a very hard time carrying them I almost lost him so I was so so scared and I was so sick with him. So I had to have a hysterectomy at 24. I was heart broken but like I said I was very blessed with 2 sons. .Now I am extremely close with my boys and with them being at the age they are now they come to me (mom) with every thing! So yes they grow up but the never truly leave! Your an amazing mom! Your daughter will always come to her mom! Now I do have a question so I hope you read all this but your canisters you told me you got them from Wal-Mart, so I went and got 4 of them but they don't have the right seal in them, does yours? If not does your flour and sugar stay fresh?

First of I absolutely love watching your videos! Second off I truly know how you feel I have a 25 year old and almost 20. Now the 25 year old moved our at 18 just with my dad 2 seconds up the road. He didn't want him to be alone cause my dad's wife abused him and then lit their house on fire and shot herself so he lost everything and the women he loved so he bought a house right by me but anyways I still felt lost but he is back with me after being in a 3 year horrible relationship. But it's hard letting go. They are our babies and always will be. I want a baby so so bad a can't have anymore.

Girl, I am thanking the Lord for you right now. He always has you putting these videos out at the perfect time for me. And wow! You hit home so much with me today! I cried while listening to you talk about how we can be overwhelmed with our blessing. I laughed at times. This was just what I needed today!

Love you Lynn! Yes please with the routine

Lynn, You've got me chocked up in this one. Hugs and prayers coming your way..

You are my favorite youtuber Lynn keep up the great job, you are validated, we love you

I see you too Lynn ❤️ and I appreciate you

I love vlogs so much better than some of the other styles. I’m sorry your daughter has left. You are right. Life is hard and I also know how you’re feeling. My life didn’t turn out like I had hoped it would. But, it goes on none the less. I’ve just made do and you will make whatever decisions needed to live your life. Just don’t wait too long. I did. Now I find myself nearing the last years of my life and I wish I had done things better and sooner. Take care. God Bless!

"What kind of mom needs a nap?" Shoot, ALL. OF. THEM. LOL! Love you and your realness Lynn! Never change - you're amazing

Lynn, bless your identical twin boys are grown now and it's so hard being alone and widowed and I'm still young.miss the love of my life always and forever..he was my bestfriend,pastor and love of my life......I miss my boys so much..I need a dog too.i have a and hugs to you....

You might want to go to therapy! Don't worry about some people's preconceptions about people in therapy being really 'messed up' or 'crazy'. Therapy can help anyone, even the most normal-seeming people, and it sounds like you're struggling to deal with a lot on your own right now.

You're speaking to me, feeling same way these couple days

You are fantastic! We all need a cheering squad. Thanks for being you!

Hi momma- a couple of years ago we had too make the difficult decision to not have any more biological children due to health issues I have. But that decision led us to become foster parents. When life closes a door, it opens a window. Perhaps your husband's reluctance and your wanting to mother additional children is leading you to another path. My family has been blessed with the kiddos that whose lives we have gotten to be a part of. Just food for thought.

I needed this....

I love this style video so real and so relatable

Girl, you are one strong mama! Love you!

Yes to pamper routine

Stay at home mom here of a 9, 4 and 18month old and thank you for this! I am ALLOWED to be overwhelmed with my blessings! Us moms rock!!! Hope you start to feeling better.

I have three boys who are all in their 20s. Now I have three dogs

Lynn, hugs & tears with you. I can relate...especially about how you feel about “time is fleeting”. It’s like it’s on fast forward. Right? I’m now 59. 2 kids. 2 grand babies!!!

You spoke to my heart about wanting a baby girl. I have 2 beautiful boys who I love with all my heart but part of me yearns for a baby girl also. A lady much wiser than me gave me the best advice so I’d like to pass it along. She had 4 boys and always wanted a girl, but it wasn’t in God’s plan for her. So she changed her prayer from wanting a daughter to praying that God would provide future daughter in laws for her sons that she could love as her own. Now she has a beautiful daughter in law and 2 granddaughters. So God always has a plan it just might be different than we think, but it will always be better and be a blessing.

i feel the same way girl my babys are growing up so fast my oldest will be 16 next month and my baby is 14 today i feel like i am losing time with them i just want to cry,

Lynn, you are a beautiful women. Mother and wife, we do have sad days unfortunately and I like you feel no one appreciates what I do. I love you and sending you a huge hug.

You are going through a grieving process because your daughter is away from you, the first one to leave the coup but it will happen with all of them as they leave one by one, it's just a natural mother feeling and process we have to go through. My baby is 17 now and not ready to leave just yet, which I am very thankful for right now because we lost her father a month ago to cancer and at the moment she is my rock, I don't know what I would do without her.

Dont give up love, god has plans for you and whatever way your path goes, believe it's the right one for you and your beautiful family. You touched my heart explaining your bond with your daughter- I just turned 30, I had my daughter when I was 18. She is 11 now and as the years pass and our bond grows it gets hard, I cant imagine when she is at the stage your daughter is, ready to leave

Nobody cares about your coldsore, you are sooo beautiful with or without coldsores. I love to watch your vlogs.

I would like to see a video how u pamper urself in a relax way

I think everyone thinks like u even me we always feel unappreciated and what u need is to go to a spa get a massage rest a day every month u are the one in control do what u need to feel better cuz ur kids need u as they get older they will see all the work uve done and then that's when they'll appreciate everything

For under eye bags use

Yay girl I told u take breaks in between Iam happy u paid attention

I totally agree with that we do need a break with our blessings cuz that's one of the reason for stress once in a while we do need a break to not be stress I think the same way on that girl

Lynn I hear you about having your daughter. My daughter is 21 yr old. She still lives at home and goes to college. I know that there is going to be a time when she leaves the home. She is my only child. I feel your heart break. I count my blessings when she is home with me.

I know you probably won't see this but maybe you could volunteer to cuddle babies in the NICU at your local hospital or maybe help with babies at a womens shelter or homeless shelter. Those moms need breaks and sounds like you have it on your heart to give love and comfort to a baby in need. I understand its not the same but it may ease your soul. Keep your head held high. You're doing great.

Please don't hurt urself like that don't be afraid to be alone go out to a new adventure

Girl we are not gonna leave to watch another YouTuber just because u have a coldsoar

Girl, I cried like 5 times through this video. I've been having some pretty crappy feelings of inadequacy lately. I pray all the time for God to help me to let go of those feelings. I think He used you to help me start to do that. Thank you, Lynn. You're wonderful.

That brings tears to my eyes. It is so tough. I was feeling it again today. So glad we’re in it together.

You inspire me! I think you are a beautiful person inside and outside!! It is ok not to be ok. My babies are 26, 24, and 21. I have struggled with my girls going up. My oldest moved to North Carolina, i am in Texas, last summer.....cant even tell you how many tears i have shed. Sending you big hugs!

I've said it before and I'll say it again... The rawest and realest cleaning mama on YouTube. The struggles are real. I'm heading back to work January 2nd after being home with my baby for 8 months. I am so sad and anxious about it--and I feel guilty as well since my husband has been working this whole time and would have loved to have been home with her, too. Ughh. I wanna be a sahm so badly. But I'm a teacher so my students are my babies while I'm at work

Friend, thank you for the love and support. You mean so much to me.

I added my comment on the cocoa bar video. It was meant from your blog 2 days ago, and told us to watch another video if you didn't like you cold sore.


I can totally relate,going through exactly the same..I feel u♥️

We are in it together!!

YOU are

@Lynn White understand your pain of children... go for it!

You are too!!

I love the CALM Magnesium supplement! And AMEN about feeling blessed even through overwhelm.

Thank you ,Lynn, I am so grateful I saw this vlog. I really needed it today. I just have to change my mind set.

"You are allowed to be overwhelmed by your blessings." I really needed to hear this today.

I actually LOVE this style video. It's like hanging out and I feel what you're going through. But my ship has sailed

Oh my gosh, you are the sweetest. Thank you love.

Aww, thank you! ❤️

@Lynn White thank you so much! I had a back surgery 6 years ago that was suppose to be a simple discectomy and back to work in 2 weeks well I ended up having a double discectomy and a lamenectomy and it was a failed surgery at the age of 39. I woke up and told them I had some burning in my right leg which I was confused due to the surgery was on my left side, they said it was normal. So I did everthing they told me to. I walked like they said. I got out of the hospital and 4 days later I couldn't walk. My body trembled. I ended up in the hospital for a week. I got diagnosed with RSD on top of my fibromyalgia. Which rsd is the worse burning pain you could imagine and there's no cure for it. I was stuck in a hospital bed and I was so depressed. I couldn't clean my house, take care of my boys, nothing so I started watching you tube. I finally said to myself you are not going to park your boys watch you like this and forced myself to fight thru all the pain. Here the doctor severed a nerve during surgery. So I am now walking which they didn't know if ok would ever do. I clean my own house. Not like I used to but it's clean. Watching you has helped me in so many ways. I am disable and can't go back to work so I have thought about starting a YouTube channel but I nervous to.,I feel so bad for my husband cause in a way he lost his wife. I lost so much of myself the day I had the surgery and people has said I shouldn't have had the surgery which really upsets me cause I really didn't have a choice cause i thru my back out and the disc was so close to my spine that it could have parralized me. I'm telling you all this cause I truly want you to know that I absolutely love watching your videos and you have helped me in so many ways. There's days I feel like I just can't do it and then I see a new video from you come up and I watch it and I get up and do what I have to. I love that you are so real with us.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are an incredible woman.❤️❤️ 2 have seals and some don’t. I noticed the seal did not make much difference, everything stays fresh.

Oh my, you are SOOOO sweet!!! Thank you!


I love therapy. It’s amazing! Shoot, we all could use it.

Love you so much!!

Welcome new friend. So thankful you’re here.

You are a beautiful person! I can relate to every thing you said. We are all getting there with God's grace.

I’m going through the same thing with my husband and I’m so heart broken. I feel since he hasn’t made any permanent decisions there is still a chance which makes it even harder.

Lyn .. I'm in the same boat. I want another baby so bad like you for a few years but my husband doesn't. It's really hard for me too. I feel you I really do. My daughter is 11 and it's all going by so fast I'm turning 36 in March I get a heavy heart about it. I've always wanted 2 kids. I have lots of fur babies to help with it. 2 cats a dog and a ferret. If I had a bigger house I would probably have another dog lol. I love my husband and appreciate him so much . I just love being a mom and a wife more than anything. You talking about this makes me feel not so alone .. thank you for opening about this ❤️ ps please let us know about the magnesium!

2 words, foster care. I'd be happy to answer any questions you have about it ❤

I loved this video so much. Not because you’re feeling this way, but because you’ve said all the REAL things that most of us feel I most days

Yes!!! Exactly how I’ve been feeling lately! Overwhelmed! Too much on my plate! Thanks for this! You’re amazing! ❤️

I read through some of the comments here and I don’t see any regarding your empty womb feelings. They are so normal and it’s so hard to accept that your life is coming to a crossroad. No platitudes or suggestions from me. Just know that you will find your way through this. Your already doing it.

@Lynn White !!! I think so too :)

OMG... needed this video today!! Seriously struggling and having all these feels. Love you so much!!! Thank you!!!

I wish we lived close so I could clean your house for an entire day and just have you sit and watch me clean it and just vent! Then when dinner was done and your family had a clean house WE would go out shopping or something. With starbucks of course.

Oh btw Lynn when I myself was going through this, I realized I do sooooo much every single day for my husband and boys but somehow I felt empty. I felt like I needed a baby and after having my girl trust me I still feel like having 3 more baby girls! But I know thats insane for my family's sake and situation. I had several talks with my husband and we both realize I needed to be spoiled by him and my boys! That was it! I needed time for myself I needed them to understand me and help me validate myself. And them telling me I did not have to do everything so perfect. My husband started buying me surprise coffees, candies (my obsession), flowers, saturdays off for myself. And that changed everything! If you heart really wants a baby girl I pray that god sends you that gift and in the meantime spoil youself a little darling.

Baby girl dust to you. Lynn it breaks my heart to see you like this because I understand! In my case I used to think that my husband thought I couldnt handle it. Like I wasnt enough. It hurts it really does. Listen to your heart and I hope the lord gives you what you need at this point in your life.

I love how starbucks makes you so happy! Its like your treat for all your hard work. And yes starbucks can be expensive but man it feels sooo good to treat yourself.

Yes ! Calm i have the big jug of it IT WORKS for me

This is stephanie Clark from instagram aka blissfulbutterfly im on my husbands account. But i wanted to tell you i just adore your accent and im wanting another baby hoping for a girl as well. My husband is 48 years old and i am 28 i met him when he was in his 30s. He has other kids from previous relationship. But i just wanted to tell you i can really relate your not alone i have puppies appl head chuihaha very cute ill send a pic to you.

I went through a time I wanted another baby



That is so true!

Yes! You’re not alone. I sure will!

Been open to that for a couple of years now. :)

Hugs to you mama. You’re doing an amazing job.

You are amazing!

I’ve looked into that. They don’t have anything like that around here :(

I am a new subscriber, and this video is by far the most real and interesting that I have seen of anyone on youtube. Keep taking good care of yourself and your family. You are an inspiration.

Lynn, thank you for your honesty and showing us you are real.You are great the way you are. You are who God made you to be. You are perfect to him and that's what matters. We all have our bad days and feel like we aren't good enough. When I feel this way I have to tell myself that I was made in His image so therefore I am worthy.Just know that we (your viewers) are here for you too. I truly consider you a friend of mine and I'm sending love and hugs your way.

Babes all these emotions...are u sure u arent already prego..?? lol...i was like all emotional with my son ;) ..i love ur videos so much..i can relate alot to u and it helps get me motivated..i have 5 kids as 2 oldest daughters moved out.. 1 from rebeling an its been really REALLY HARD..i was blessed to have my 3 girls they r the oldest and the younger ones are my 2 boys...i wouldnt change a thing..except mayb my mental state lol..they drive me thinking about starting a cleanin vlog since all i do is clean least thats what it feals just scared an ya idk..!!

Mama that girlie stuff still goes on it just may happen a little later. When she marries and has babies guess who she will run to? Guess who gets to wedding plan and shop with? I have 3 girls, 27,21 and 18. One will be getting married soon. Although I am sad she wont be here every night I look forward to the next phase of life that we will be in. Be sad but yes, look at this as a new adventure

Lynn, stop beating yourself up, you asked if anyone knew how to stop comparing, l never compare. Truly. The only thing that's important to me is my unit, not the neighbours, not the friend down the road, not even my family. My husband and daughter are my life, my home lm loving doing up, making it better every day, life is very tough and l would love to know why it treats us the way it does, l'll never know. Yes being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world, no there's not always thanks or gratitude but as long as they're warm, fed and loved what else or who else matters?? Treat yourself once or twice a month, get a massage, buy a chocolate cake, eat it when the kids are in bed. Sending you hugs from me. You are a lovely, true and good person. God bless xx

You are not alone for feeling over whelmed. I feel like that a few times a week. I hate that I feel like that.

I feel you, I feel the creeping of time catching up with me as well. My daughter is 15 and will be 16 at the end of January.

I really enjoy your videos, Lynn. You are so real and authentic. Good for you!!!!

Lynn, I think you are fantastic and so brave sharing your life with us. I appreciate all that you say and totally understand and get it...and girl, you are keepin it real. Go you! Love you and your channel, fabulous

Girl....I love you! I'm not a mom, so it's hard for me to understand obviously, but I feel for you. I was tearing up when you were. And "you can be overwhelmed by your blessings" WOW. Thank you for this video. You are one of my favorite youtubers because you are SO real and I love you for it. Keep your head up babe, you're doing amazing! ❤❤

I'm new to your channel and I cried with you. You seem like the kindest person ever

You are amazing and beautiful. I love watching your channel and them cookies looked delicious! If you are having a bad day She finally saw what God saw in her and she became unstoppable.

I know how you are feeling...I'm 62 years old, my dad passed this year in January, my mom has lost him and 5 of her friends this makes you think about your mortality...and I get depressed thinking about that...but I have 3 grand kids, one of which lives with me and I have to think positively for them and make this Christmas a good one for their sake. I have decorated the house (which was hard) but seeing their faces, especially the 2 year old, has filled my heart with joy...they are so precious. Life is short, you never know what is right around the corner, so make the best of what the Lord has given you...You are truly blessed!

You are so needed and loved, by your family and by this family. You be you. I certainly understand that longing, but found out too late that children weren't possible. You are so very lucky, but that doesn't mean that it's always easy or that you have to stop dreaming. Me, I cuddle my big old dog, and at 10 years, she still loves it. :D Just keep being real. You say so much that so many of us need to hear. You are one of MY blessings, and I'm truly thankful to have found your channel this year. My life is brighter (and cleaner!) for it. Thank you.

I felt this in my soul. I have 4 boys and pregnancy and labor is really hard for my body. I had a baby 3 months ago and my heart didn’t do well. So I made the decision to be done, but I hate that I can’t have my little girl. I’m struggling with that part a lot.

i actually have no kids not even married or in a relatioship , but i love you ,and even more after this video ♡

Seriously Lynn , you really should write a book or something , that's such a deep and honest talk you did , i like the way you put emotions on words and give them to us in the smartest way , if that made any sense !!?

So sweet of these women to send her cards ♡

I left this video for a week in my watch later , and it did make me kinda feel good from the first minute♡

Lynn I know how you feel when your kiddos grow up and then leave home ..4 of my 5 children have moved out eldest will be 46 in nine days youngest is 29 i know daughter Lianne is 32 and still at home with me ..saving to rent a home next year she will be gone ..them I'll cry ..she has been my rock..your an amazing mama and I love your videos choose what to do next your decorations love your home its beautiful..just like you ..I've been a subscriber for about a year ..oh and I'm from UK ..many blessings o you all .

Hej Lynn! Missed you due to not watched your videos. Why? Life has been fuckin me up and Ive been working and resting and sleeping. Offcrs you are alowed (

Hi Lynn!! I know I'm watching this video late but I wanted to tell you Thank you!!! I loved this video and we are in this together!! I'm not a mom but I completely understand how you are feeling!! Hang in there, girl! We got it!! So Happy to be part of your YouTube family and so Happy to have found your channel!! I enjoy watching your videos and channel daily!! Big Hugs my friend!!

You are a kind soul through and through. You give give and give and what makes you sad is that you want to give a little more than you already do. Momma I don't know how you do it, Im a single mum, my daughter is 3 and i always feel like im chasing my tail, spinning plates and one of em always breaks. I really loved what you said about appreciating your blessing but feeling overwhelmed, I can relate! I loooooveee the vlogs, there's a world of wisdom in that mind of yours and we need to keep hearing it, love your channel and I wish you, your wonderful family and lil hazel a very merry christmas xxx


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