REAL & RAW DAY IN THE LIFE OF A MOM OF 5 | TO DO LIST | SPEED CLEANING SAHM ROUTINE

REAL & RAW DAY IN THE LIFE OF A MOM OF 5 | TO DO LIST | SPEED CLEANING SAHM ROUTINE

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Good. Morning you guys I told, you we would vlog in December, it's gonna be like a way you can kind of get to know me a little, more but also we are gonna be tackling our to-do list today so. So. We're gonna do I just drop the kids off and, we're. Gonna be getting stuff, done but, first coffee. I have a little, treat. On my apps here. We go hey there can I get a grande, hot, peppermint, mocha with, one, pump peppermint, one-pump. Mocha and almonds I'm trying with, your first off I look ridiculous, and I look kind of crazy and. I'm trying to. Get. You guys in a better light what, is going on here, hold on, right. Better I still. Have the cold sore on my face but you know what I figure, there's bigger things in. The world going. On than the cold sore on my face and if you guys think it's ugly then you. Can watch somebody else's video. Kind. Of how I'm feeling cuz there's nothing I can do about it right now. It's. There. It's, here. When. You have a little, reward on, your Starbucks makes, me so stinkin happy. Okay, 605, yes thank, you. Sorry. Service every press release though it takes forever. Thank. You you have a great day, Thanks. All. Right I got my drink, so, this how many year I will usually get like a peppermint mocha and I was going to get an ice I'll. Get something ice like. A cold brew with all my milk but it's. Gonna be 60s, today so I decided. Living. Up with the cold drink right all. Right we have things to do we. Have a to-do list so. I'm. Really trying to push through yesterday was a hard day for me I cried a lot there, were just some days where you need a good cry and that. Was yesterday I cried. I. Just. Been feeling really off lately honestly, really, off and. Kind. Of sad I just have had these realizations I, don't know if it's like a midlife crisis, but I just have been having these realizations. That. Time is fleeting. It. Sounds really silly you know and I don't that's better I know somebody. Out there, has. Got to have, it has to experience what I'm going through so as you guys know I have an older daughter she's 17. And, she's actually been in Texas. And, that has been really like, at first it was a big deal but I'm the type of person I don't freak. Out about little things like, that. You. Know I freaked out about going. To a store with a whole bunch of people you know normal things but, she's. Been out of town and I was like yeah that's fine whatever but the more she's been gone it's, been kind of hard I've had these realizations, even. Before she left about just how time is just going by so fast, my. Eyes are itchy, alright we're gonna try this so she's 17, and Noah is five and, I. Just you know you know I've wanted a baby I've been longing for a baby for about two years and, every, time I, would bring it up to Chris he would say like okay I'm. On board let's just, there's. Six months and then the six months would come and then he was like I'm, on board I'm nervous, another, six months and, then. When that time came he was like a year, a year I promise you in a year and, I. I've. Been waiting and now we're here again and. He's like well I could guarantee you. Know it was a girl which you, guys already know we would be there any thankful and very blessed to have another little boy but it's, okay for us to long for it a little girls together it's okay we have four boys like we, would still love a little boy and, I just want to put that out there if you guys are longing for a certain gender there is nothing wrong with that as, long as you, are loving. And accepting to, whatever God gives you so. I'm just gonna put that out there you're not wrong for wanting a certain gender to, balance your family that's not a bad thing and, we. Do now, like I said if we had a little boy I would be fine with it you, know of course you would be a little bit of like oh man. But. You, know it's okay. And. Someone. Because I've experienced, gender disappointment, before and I felt like I was a horrible, person for it it happens to the best of us and you just have to push forward and be thankful for what you got so. I just had to put that out there. Comment, but, so. Now here we are again and he's all like well we're not you know, if. We were more financially secure or if. Our home was less chaotic or, I mean there's always something. A reason why and I thought you just got done and I said I'm not gonna sit here and try to convince you, i-i've. Had, a child with someone my ex-husband, who, didn't want those kids and I, know what, that feels like, so I don't I won't do that and. He. Was like I wouldn't want not that I wouldn't want it I just you know we just have so much going on I'm like I know but I'm old I'm getting old like, I don't, want to have a baby at 40 I'm, gonna be I'm 37, right now like it's, already getting polite for me that's how I feel in my heart so.

I Just had to just like forget it get, out like kicking. And screaming within myself and just forget it I'm done dealing with it and. So. That's. Been a little heartbreaking to, have to, because. I had felt a longing on my life and my heart to. Try for another baby that, gets intense, the desire is intense. When your husband. Doesn't. Feel the same way that's very, it's. Very hard but, you know it's not fair to. Him for, me to push. That upon town, so. We need to come to a middle ground it's not fair for either one of us to. Be. Feel. How, do I put it to feel like. I'm, not gonna have a baby in him not wanted and I should not have a baby because he doesn't want it like we need to come to the middle ground we have to have to compromise. But, I've got a point where I'm like you know there's a part of me that doesn't. Want to start over and the things that I miss, are, the things that have that go by the quickest, you know the failing, a move inside, in those first moments and, those newborn things. You, know all the first milestones, those are the things that I miss terribly, I don't necessarily want, to do the, temper tensions, and the, you know 18 months like all the regressions, the progressions, and stuff like that so I'm trying to evaluate, what. God wants, for me but. In this time, and, this. Whatever, I felt, like oh my. Gosh like, my daughter is gonna be leaving soon and, I don't have anybody and that's been really hard that's what's I think the hardest thing for me is. Trying to shift my, perspective. On my, life and, my image. Like wrong idea I had for my family, in my life and, like I've been putting all the Christmas stuff out and they just don't give a day. And, I think I got really emotional my, lips look really, really. Light sorry, they. Just don't care. They, don't care like, I care, and, that's okay cuz I don't care about sports, and balls and. All, that stuff like they care and that's okay you know but. It's just a realization. That my. Daughter's going to be gone and I'm really really sad about it I'm really sad I'm sad I'll never. I'm. Sad that having. A daughter. Home. With me and doing all the girly, type of stuff is over, I'm. Going to cry. That's, what. I'm having such a hard time with. Okay. So. That's what I'm having such a hard time with it's just realizing, that it's over and, I. Didn't get to do a lot of stuff for her because some of her struggles, which is heartbreaking. And, now my, time with her is almost over, now I know she'll still be around but you guys know what I mean when your daughter. Goes off to college or, you know they decide to go move into another state or whatever the case may be, it's. It's it's a huge transition and, then like I've got my sweet always and I'm so thankful for them but. I don't feel, like. It's different when you have a daughter that you do a lot of things with and, you guys connect, and she gets you and you get her you know what I mean like I mean. Like I told Chris if you have to remember she's always been with me I had her when I was 19, years old. Eighteen or twenty nineteen, years. Old so like she, grew up with me and, it's. Heartbreaking, to think that she's gonna be gone soon so. Mom's. Who've had kids leave know. What I'm talking about. Just, like I don't how in the world do. The most 18, years, go by so, fast and. That's been the realization, so I'm. Trying to. Embrace. Where. I'm at and I'm trying to embrace what. The Lord's given me, so. It's, been tough so. As for the baby thing I know I've had ups some people asked me on my other video, where I was saying like swaying. For a girl's right you can see yeah like we were that was the plan that's always with the plan and, my husband keeps changing it and out. Of frustration, I've. Just given up at this, point in my life I've given up so. There. Is no talk of trying, to conceive at this at this moment. So. I asked him for a puppy. Want. A puppy, and. I've already checked all the rescues, and the shelters and they don't have what I'm looking for yes I'm, looking for an on shedding dog and.

I've, Been I always. Look, for rescues, and shelters, first. That's just who I am I always always. Scour. There first but. If I can't find that then I look, for something out that he's like no yeah but either, like. Because. They're so expensive that's why they're like expensive. I've been trying to find some with a good price he's like we, can't buy anything right now until we get out of debt and he's, absolutely right. But, this mom wants something to cuddle. So. I'm just gonna keep myself busy. That's, pretty much the, point, of all of this I'm just gonna keep myself SuperDuper. Busy. And. Just, focus on the things that I do have and. I am I'm blessed I know I'm blessed but I'm also human and I'm allowed to have these emotions, without, feeling, guilty so, we are off to my post office I got a notification that something's there so that'll be excited. To see what it is and then, we are going to tackle, this to-do list I've got a lot of things to do it came back from them I'm at my post office now and I, got two. Cards. Happy. Home happy, hearts Happy Holidays to you Merry Christmas love bar love, your videos, oh. How. Sweet. And. The sweetest, card, thank, you. Barbara. Ponder. From ohio. Thank. You, I, think, this is just the sweetest card. I cannot wait to put this up. Or. It does. It's. Like a 3d, card. How. Sweet okay. Peggy. Leland. From, Liberty. New. York. These. Things make my face guys. Wishing. You and your family a wonderful Thanksgiving I, found your channel this year and I'm loving it I hope, you were feeling better Thank You Peggy. You. Were so sweet both if you guys are so sweet this. Means so. So much to me I love hearing from you guys I don't know how I got so blessed to have, such, sweet. Subscribers. I just you, guys know I love you and I appreciate you more than you ever know. Thank. You so much. Guys. Are awesome that made my day I was not having a good day yesterday, those. Sweet cards, just made my day so thank. You, okay. We. Got to get back to doing stuff you, guys are really sweet thank. You so. Much, today. I'm. Going to show you guys what I got from Target, in the grocery store I totally. Just. Messed. Up and forgot that. I was supposed to be doing a hot. Cocoa bar for Thursday's video yep. My. Mind has not been where it needs to be and. I'm making this video like very blog style we're. Just hanging out just friends, hanging out so I hope you don't mind it's not gonna be perfectly edited, and all that fancy stuff it's. Just two friends hanging out or however, many friends watch that's hanging out with me so let. Me know in the comments below if you like this style we'll just give this video a thumbs up, this. I'm gonna put it under there. I'm. Not gonna show you much more, you'll. Have to see Thursday's video for. That but I want. To do her blogs, I'm. Gonna be easier, to do if, I don't have to like fine-tune, them. Mess, out of them like with the cleaning, videos those are. Hard. To do worth. It I love. It I absolutely love, it but, if they're definitely. Takes. Me hours upon, hours to edit those so. After. I would just hug it have, it with my mom to Kirkland's and. Something. About being with your mom that makes you cry like she, was talking to me because I guess Chris went to her and told her that I was sad, yesterday. I started crying in Kirkland. It's. Like this mm-hmm. I'ma, talk to you ah I'm doing my dishes wait, let. Me talk to you as I. I'm. Gonna talk to you guys while. I unlock the dishes, I'm. Gonna talk to you guys I, don't know how many times I've said I'm going to talk to you guys while I get out the groceries, I. Feel. Like everyone's. Okay. I got turkey snacks. I, feel, like as mom we're. Not allowed to have, bad days and. We're. Not allowed to. Feel. Like we can't do it all and, that's. Not fair. I'm. Human and. Life. Is hard, being. A mom is hard being, married is hard and, all. Of that it's hard and I, feel like there's a stigma, but, if moms are having a bad days we need to suck it up and just be thankful for awesome, well I, am.

Thankful For my blessing but I'm gonna go so far as saying that I am overwhelmed by. My blessings, too. And. I just want to encourage you guys that if you. If. You. Feeling. Overwhelmed, or feeling. Like sad are, feeling inadequate feeling. Not appreciated, feeling, not good enough for like your time is running out. If. You're feeling like that I'm, not gonna tell you that the, way you're feeling isn't valid I'm not gonna say my mom's gonna be fine it's gonna be fine I'm gonna say you know what it is hard. It's. Really hard. This. Is a really, tough season, your. Feelings are valid and you. Are. Allowed to feel exactly how you feel without anyone making you feel bad. I'm. So tired of not feeling. Like. I'm allowed to feel the way I feel like, it's wrong white. Just. Because I'm overwhelmed, with my kids. Doesn't. Mean I wouldn't, mind having another one just. Because I'm overwhelmed, with, how much mothering, it takes. And. How how, how. Overwhelming. It can be doesn't, mean I don't appreciate them it, doesn't mean I'm not thankful it doesn't mean that I wouldn't get my life for them it, just means that it's hard and, it's. Allowed to be hard, it. Just means that I'm. Allowed to be overwhelmed, by my blessings. That's. What that means so if you're a mama or. You're anybody, and, you've got something you're going through in your life, you. Are allowed, to be overwhelmed. By your blessings and still. Appreciate. Your blessings, and still love your blessings, you're, allowed to be overwhelmed by them you're, allowed to need a breather you're. Allowed to need a break you are, allowed, to feel, exactly, how you feel. It. Is okay, it. Is okay. Because. That's how I've been feeling lately. Just. Flip it around and. I. Am the type of person like we're. Not there something, going on I don't, wallow, I'm. Like alright how are we gonna fix it. Sometimes. You. Need a good cry I've had that for two days sometimes. You. Need to dream a little that's what I've been doing sometimes, you need to think about what. You want. To do with your future in your life you need to figure out, how. To be proactive or, nothing, so overwhelmed, what is it that's making you overwhelmed, why, is it making you overwhelmed, what can you do to prevent that overwhelm, what can you do to help. Guide, you through the feelings, so. I don't. Know what that may be for you I don't, know if it's a self-care. Day I, don't, know if it's like having your husband cook one day and, clean and. Put the kids to bed you just totally like check out no we can't do that all the time but, if it's every once in a while and you need that for yourself, help ask, your husband I don't know I don't know what that means for you but. I'm just letting you know but, if you feel overwhelmed -, by your life right now no matter what you're going through you're allowed to feel that way don't let anyone make you feel guilty, for the way you feel you can love your life and be overwhelmed. Let's. Finish getting these first results talking. About overwhelm have, y'all ever tried this calms it's, like a magnesium, supplement. I'm. Gonna give it a shot and, what I just took. And. What I just like. Very. Free cookies, I. Want. To eat my emotions, away my, feelings I want to bake cookies with my kids and I want to enjoy them. Hot. Cocoa. Preacher with cream I want to enjoy my family, and.

Yet. Still. Be allowed to feel the way I feel. So. The, Chocolate Chunk cookies. The. Holiday, blends coffee. Isabel, and Chris like this drew, and I like this some. Hummus talkable, and Caesar, salad it's broccoli, Turkey, snacks I know super, healthy Jimmy. Dean sausages, natural, I'm doing something right, Heinz, ketchup. This. I'm gonna make I'm going to put, some chicken and the crock-pot so. Whipped, cream. Right. Here I just I did that to, get my camera to focus that's when you know you're on your camera your phone too much when, you do that trying. To get it to focus okay. Melatonin. Excuse, me melatonin, if your kids won't go to sleep and you're about to Hersman Bobby that's. Quick when you really love them and you think all right let's be nice be a good mommy my. Creamer. Because. I bought these for the kids but really there for me and red potatoes. Because. There, I go again tap there. There, we go for. Cocoa, bar candy. Canes. Because. You can eat a million of them and it's. Not a lot of sugar for, your kids and yogurt. That is my amazing. Now. I'm gonna get my crop cut out and I'm gonna do some barbeque chicken because. Everybody. In my family eats barbecue chicken. That's. Really bright hold on. Christmas. If I did not get out. For. The Christmas home tour and there's something about me that just doesn't care like. There's. Just been so much going on lately I just. Sometimes. Being. Productive, is taking, a break because you know if you can go, ahead and take that break then you'll be more productive when you get up sometimes, I will set an alarm on my phone and turn. The. Notifications. Off everything off like silent sit but, set an alarm and that way I will lay down for, 15-20. Minutes. Absolutely. Zero distractions. None. And. I. Don't fall asleep but. Just resting, my mind, 10. To 20 minutes it's. So good for me so I'm going to start putting some clothes away. I. Did. Not get to the tree farm like I wanted to because, I chilled and, I told you I haven't been feeling too. Emotionally. Great the, past few days, and so I'm gonna allow myself to do that so like, I said I'm putting, on my laundry actually, folded. This laundry first thing this morning. The, kids are looking for a jacket cuz it's like 60, so to them they're freezing. Cuz. It folded it and like except. That's. What I'm gonna write, on the floor. Cuz. I gotta straighten up their room anyway. It's. My night to put the kids to bed and I always clean their room before. I do this so I'm just gonna go ahead and tackle that now, and. I'm starving. So, I am eating. Thanksgiving. Dinner again. Somebody. Asked me how I lose weight, honestly. I stopped eating when I'm full that's pretty much it I don't. Prevent. Myself from eating. Anything if I want it I have it. Brownies. Cakes cookies, a lot of it I have, it however. If. I know that. I'm gonna be eating on the heavier side, say. I know I feel it's a hibachi last. Week I knew. That so I ate light during the day Wow, mostly. Because I really really wanted to eat that food but, I'm. Very mindful, when I eat. Put. This look forward to I, would. Consider myself a very mindful, year. So. Then, I try to be active today I wasn't active but, I plan on riding the bike tonight. We. Thank, you. I. Can't. Breathe, without, charm. My. Kids I made, them some cookies because, you know what sometimes, you gotta have some cookies and, I want to do that wrecking it I love making them a little desserts and stuff and those cookies if you guys are gluten-free dairy-free they're the best. And. I did a quick little tidy, I still need to do their room I'm gonna do that when I get back but I, got a lot of stuff done off of my to-do list so I'm happy and the house feels put together which makes me happy dinners.

In The crock-pot so today's. Been a good day and. Honestly if it's not a good day do what you got to do to make it a good, day that, is one of my biggest. Things there, is no perfection here, we're. All scraping. Off our, burnt cookie pieces off of the pan, just, like the next month no, perfection so I hope. You guys appreciate real. Life and. Their. Realness goes, I don't, have all my stuff together I got, a whole bunch of stuff but it ain't together so, let. Me go get these babies and. We will finish our day you guys. You. Want a cookie. Yeah. Just. Go for it just eat one for now just one for now. Shut. It give me your face. Good. Oh yeah. Did. You really good to. Boy. It's been a while since we talked and. My hands get nervous I, get. It others on and on I can't. No I, just. Gotta know where you are if, I want to remain sane, but. You go sit in a texting, car oh, no. You. Could. Be running off, with, somebody else. Oh. Boy. I ask myself. Yeah. Maybe. You're, just off doing, what you said oh, I. Think I. Tell. Me what's the holdup baby, tell. Me why you balls off. Grazie. But. I think I'm moving it. Are. You being honest with me. This way, query. But I think I'm losing it. It I think I'm moving it by I. Think. I'm a linen I think I'm losing it I think I'm moving it. I've, been staring at my phone too long. Am I getting tired and. The, batteries, are gone. There's. I'm be honest and let me like, I can't wrap my head around it. You, said you when I want men to be. You. Could. Be running off, with, somebody else, oh. Boy. Myself. Yeah. You're just stop doing. What I said. Tell. Me what's up. Your. Phone's off. But, I think I'm losing it. Tell me where your heart is. Are, you being honest, with me. I wanna go this break, ready but. I think I'm losing it. It I think I'm losing it. I. Think I'm. From. Agony. But. Without, you it's, hard to keep my thoughts clean, there, is all kinds all that I had, the. Dishwasher. Ready to go so everyone just put their plates in there and there's really minimal, stuff that needs to be done. Shall. We get focused yeah, really minimal stuff at a speed I felt good. I'm. Nobody. So I'm gonna go wash my face real quick buddy I'm gonna go wash my face would you like me to start a bath for you and then I'm gonna do about thirty minutes on the bike because I owe that to myself and I've, been feeling tired, more more throughout the day so I know I need to get back on the bike so I'm gonna take you guys real quick and show you some. Of the stuff I use for my things because. I've had actually. Quite a few people ask which. I'm really appreciative, probably not with this on my face but. You guys have asked so what's. There. She'll be liked all right let me wash my face and then I'll show you I wash my face I want to show you guys this this was actually gifted, to me.

They, Sent this to me to try out and I've been trying it out for a couple of weeks because I will always test, it before time you guys anything and I, did a full demonstration on, my Instagram, but, this stuff is amazing, you, show to you comes in the most beautiful, gold, packaging. Let. Me see if I can. Go. And, take. Your top off and it has a coolest. Little brush I mean they're, cool, this little brush you see and you. You, just. Yes. That's clean baby you just pump the bottom of it so I'll just show you real quick I do. Too and I'm gonna show you what it looks like a mop alarm well. I guess I could show you under my eye hold on so I've actually got you guys set up here on, some towels but. I did a full demonstration on. My, um, Instagram. So obviously, this is like a date see how already how bright it is under there I'm, anything right now my, face but you see how bright it is under my eyes eternity, it's so much brighter and off you can even do it like a little bit on your chair. I. Love. It and like I said this was gifted to me it. Is the prettiest, color is, as such, a nice brightness, to me. Pretty. Like, I said I'll always try things out. I, love. For nature. Wash. My face I don't use any type of special, thanks. Wash there's, some Neutrogena, sprout and then, I do. Kind. Of a lot to my face if, you want like a detailed, explanation on, what I used on my skin and let the process, would. You guys want me to do that in next Tuesday's, video so it'll be another like, busy super productive to-do, list taco you're trimming this vlog. Like today but, at the end I could do like a whole paper routine, I'll show you that I use like this sucker on my face. Sometimes. I do micro needling like a dermabrasion at home but. If I'm, not doing all of that but, it's time for me to do that yet. How-use. Sunday, Riley. Good. Genes it's, not picking up pretty well have on. Sunday. Riley good genes and I'll put this. I'll. Put that up scary I'll put this all over my skin and then, I follow up with a moisturizer I, am out of my city. Beauty City lip City Beauty moisturizer. So. Which. Is my rider diamond, a baby bump rider die favorite thing in the whole world but I'm out so. I, have, just been making. So. I'll just use confidence. In a cream from it cosmetics. Hold. On please and, then. I have what that pose and I'm going to use like this clean and clearing this up is really good my, skin is available right now honestly. So. That's. What I do but if you want like a detail, like. Whole night pamper, routine what I do to, like, make. My skin look the way I look which. Obviously. Not like this I have, this like sucker, thing it sucks out all the junk in the nose it's. Got a microdermabrasion. Kit I also do. Micro. Needling, which I can show you that as well so. You gotta let me know yes to paper routine, for. Next Tuesday, and I'll make that how about you yes, sir. That. Is called body wash don't use anymore about hey buddy put. Some in your hands and wash your body so, I, just. Washed my face like I said because I'm going to work out a little bit and I'm, not gonna want to work out with makeup on my face and the. Lip is getting a little better musk eyes are itchy my. Face is feeling really tight maybe it's cuz it's getting cold outside. Just. A little but this one must face will be, red, my face is you. I, do like, Serafini. Moisturizer. I like that a lot. Just. To make it stop yeah, buddy. This. Camera well, it's one of my other one this. Is not no you. May you better be so careful, with that thing. This. Has a professional wind so yes but. Put it back where it started go. So. Yeah I'm gonna put. This oh, no why so irritated I. Always. Do. It in upward motion like this. Behind. The ears and, bring. It all the way to the neck listen. Ladies even. If you were in your early 20s, early. 30s. Just. Even in your early 20s you guys have got to start taking care of your neck and, your, chest in, the back of your hands it, is the first, thing that shows Amy when, a woman bled her.

Face Could be looking amazing, but. You look on the back of her hands I always take my residual. Product and do this and the, chest shows. Age you, see mine, has. Some lines in it so. When I do my micro-needling. Microdermabrasion. I go, all the way down has, I've been burned like in vice versa now now. Let. Me wash your body. They. Man. Is. A. Team. That's. Right. That's. Like this is a family where, we eat strong but as, a family together as a team we're stronger right. They'd. Be normal. What. Is the problem. Daddy's. Okay. I did 20 minutes on. The bike wearing. This I'm telling you I cannot bus I just have to get out and do it and, then I did a bunch of lunges and squats and. Girl. Leave the shows. But. I want to show you I'm going to be defusing, tonight some. Frankincense. For some emotional, support before, it knows I need it, some. Frankincense. There's. A Christmas spirit, yes. This. Is the desert mists and it is my favorite. You guys are. Interested in that I'm gonna put it in my description. Box so, I was doing a Marco and. I like to talk I why they listen to Marco's or. San. Marcos when I am on the, bike that makes that go by really fast and, I. Was. Talking about some stuff that I've had that has happened recently and. I've. Got emotional, my eyes are SuperDuper, red, but. I'm kind of glad because. After. Talking about everything that we've talked about today I, kind. Of want to end this vlog like, on. A really. Real. Moment, with, you guys. So. Cute I, don't. Know. You. Know lately I've really been struggling with. Feeling. Adequate. Feeling. Appreciated, feeling. Good enough and. More. Times than not I don't feel. Good. Enough adequate. Appreciate. It and I. Think. Any mother could. Attest. To that, you, know mothering. Is hard it is one of the greatest blessings, of my life but it's hard and. More. Times than not I've, to go to bed feeling like a failure, feeling. Guilty. Replaying. The day on how I could have changed things. No. It's just it's just not easy. And. One of the things that I have been trying to do lately is literally. Read. Y. Re, work. My, thoughts because, so many things negative. Things in our lives that, we. Deal with stem. From thoughts thought you have every single day you don't even realize, these thoughts and the, way we talk to ourselves is. So much worse and we would talk to a friend or our children, isn't it. We, would tell our friend would tell attrition you don't you, don't accept less you're. Powerful, you're wonderful. You're loved you're. Sufficient. You're smart. You're. Capable of, big things. Dream, big do big all of the things right. But. To us to ourselves or like you're stupid. You're. Not a good mom you're not a good wife. You're. Failing. What's. Wrong with you you're lazy and. You. Know that's true you know that's. True. But. I am trying because a lot of things have happened. In. My life but. You know I want to say recently but reality is all the time so, we're actually. Never. Going to never, going to be like that one over there that comparison. Game is like sickening. We. All do it and. If you've learned how. Not to do it please let me know your secret, I'd love I'd love to know your secret but. It's hard and whether we're comparing ourselves with the moms down the street feeding your kids all the healthy stuff or. The. Super amazing. Dedicated. Organized, homeschool, mom or the PTA mom or. The. Youtuber, whose channels going crazy and, everyone loves them and there's providing, all their families dreams or, the, Instagram, mom has the perfect house or. Whatever. There's. Like comparison. I feel. Like we can only really, compare, ourselves to others we don't feel like we're good enough but. If we just take time, every, single day in, capture. Those thoughts, literally.

When. The thoughts come into your head try to say something to combat them and that's what I've been trying to do I have. Really. Been working hard I'm trying to just be like you, know you're not good enough yes I am I ain't good enough you're. Not good like that mom yes I am I am, just as good, I am, the best mother that my kids could have I am. I coming exactly, what my kids need. Every. Day I try and work and show up for them you know what I mean does, that mean that they got it perfectly organic, made from scratch meal no. But. It meant I showed up and that. Meat might mean cookies today and that. Might mean a load, of laundering that didn't get folded tomorrow. But. The love for. My family is the same. And. Most, of all in those days where, the cookies aren't baked and the laundry's not folded, folded. And, you're, not really feeling like you're on top of your game or. Your business isn't as good as the next person's business or, you're, not feeling the growth like the other person just. Remembering. That. It, is okay and to give yourself grace. Because. If you can't expect, the world to, give you grace if you can't get it to yourself, I. Took. A nap today and, I. Can honestly sad what I felt guilty about that a long time ago but I have learned. Taking. My little 10-minute lay. Down nap don't. Even sleep, makes. Me more productive for the rest of the day, so. Instead of beating myself up that what kind of mom needs a nap I did. Not I. Made. It a cup of coffee but I didn't, drink it I saved. It and, I laid down for about 10 minutes, arrested. In my mind and, my eyes from, everything, and I, was more productive for the rest of the day so. The old me would have been like you lazy. Piece. Of crap what are you doing but. The new me and me. I'm trying to be the best version of myself it's like you get that back, that. Turned. Down time that lights off time for. Your mind and your body and your eyes and. When, it's time it's go time again, and not. Met my kids roll with tablet, they, sure. They. Were on that tablet. But, when mommy got up we got back to business, and, you know what I'm not gonna feel guilty about it because I am a better mom for it I am, a better mom what, you're saying look I need this for today it's not every day but, today I needed, this and my kids attend to themselves for a moment and I was a better more productive or loving, or calm and patient, mom and maybe a, lot.

Of My fuses, done. So. I want, to in this vlog which is letting you know that. We're. In this together, and, I hope that I, encourage, you and I, hope you when. You watch my, blogs or, my channel you've your lives that there is no room for perfection, over. Here I hope to inspire you and I hope to motivate you but more than that I hope, that I remind, you that you're not alone and, we're in this together whether you have one kid no, kids and empty nest or 25 kids. Whether. You, were in any, season just know that you're not alone and, it's, hard and life is hard and there's no excuse, for it it's just hard you know what let's, let, it be hard together so. That's, kind, of why, I put myself out here it's hard I don't, like being vulnerable but. More and. Then, I don't like being vulnerable I don't like being that someone's out there thinking that they're not good enough, they're, not they have nobody because, as long as you are on my channel and you have me and if. You, guys. Leave me comments, and my heart them I can't, always reply. But. If I heart it I read. It, and. If you ask me a question I'll, respond. But. I just let you guys know more and more comment to coming in which I'm so thankful for but. If I heart your comment, that means I have loved it that means I've read it that means that I see, you, you. Are irreplaceable you, are worthy you. Are valuable, and you are loved and while you're on my channel you are family so I. Hope you guys enjoyed this let, me know about next Tuesday do you want like a pamper, routine type of thing I'll go through the whole face stuff. And let. Me know what else you guys want to see on my channel but. I just appreciate you guys being here I appreciate you showing up for me um I. Just appreciate, you I just appreciate, you more than you ever know and I just want you guys to know that so if. You guys are new here, I'm so happy you hung out here today go ahead and hit that subscribe button before, you go make. Sure you hit that notification bill all of its free it just let you know when I have new postings, so I love, you guys so much and, the. Holidays hardly, we're. Going to do this together. Totally. Imperfect just. Taking, all of our mess all of our hot mess and showing up anyways I'm. Gonna go take a shower so I can put my babies to bed, life. Is short I love you guys.

2019-12-06 22:53

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Comments:

Awww Lynn I can relate. After we lost Charlotte my husband was dead set against another baby, and it broke my heart. I blamed him, it got really ugly. But I also understood that his feelings are just as valid as mine are. I even went looking for puppies too! Ultimately that changed for us because he was wanting another baby but was really scared after our loss. But it was so hard because what is the compromise? I hope y’all work it out ❤️ I wish you were closer, you so come cuddle with mine ❤️ love ya girl

I really needed to hear that speech about feeling overwhelmed! Thank you!

Girl, I so wish we lived near each other cause I get you girl. I sooo get you. But trust me, once that first one gets out... You will be counting down the days til they all leave! No, seriously, the first one is hard but it gets easier. And what I found once they were gone was me. I found me. Not Hannah's mom, nit Bryanna's mom, Dan's wife.... But me. I had lived for everyone else for so long that I no longer knew who I was. And guess what? I like me. I like hanging out with me. So hang in there. And one day, you can just relax and look forward to Grandbabies (which is also hard!). Nothing but love sweetheart...

Totally get being thankful and overwhelmed by your blessings best statement ever xxx

Yes I have tried calm ! It has helped me a lot at times. Makes me feel relaxed, sometimes a little sleepy, well I guess CALM

Aww Lynn, this got me emotional ! I think about that all the time, I will be a complete wreck when my kids get older and leave ! What ?! No baby or puppy

you are a great and funny person! watching your videos from Holland! yes to a night pampering routine !! love your videos!❤

M’y eldest is 24 today and she’s a mum too so we don’t have much time with each other but when she come to visit it’s always special. Just enjoy the next chapter of your life I found being a Nanie is better than a mum you get all the hugs and love and hardly none of the tantrums

Loved this so so much!!! Love you

Thank you for sharing and keeping it real. I love that about your channel. Praying for you and your family ❤

Thank you for being so real

Hi Lynn :) I REALLY like this vlog style video. More of these, please! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings

Thank you Lynn. I really needed to hear that.. My daughter is 19... the last 2 years have been struggles every day ... bless you.

Life is hard

Having a rough few days, rocking a teething little one now and I needed to hear your message at the end. Subscribing

hun if you waited till you could afford a baby as my nan of 22 kids said no one would have them.

Honey you look fine and if someone don't like it don't look.And if you need to cry hun let it out we may cry with ya.

U r awesome take things one day at a time things will get better just keep your head up being a mom we are allowed to feeling the way we want to life is hard

Love your Vlogs, I needed to hear everything you said today. Thank you xx

I love the vlog style, it really makes me feel connected to you and your channel! I know the longing in your heart for a baby. We have infertility and have a 2 year old and have been trying since he was born and no luck! Also where did you get those glass canisters?

Lynn, I discovered your videos about 6 months ago. You are soooo inspiring to me, you are so true to us and to yourself. Love you.

Your video helped so much today! I am 26 & raising 4 babies. 2 of which are my nieces. Working full time, and trying to do school full time. I'm comfortable in my life financially and securely, but mentally & emotionally I'm on an entirely different level. It's amazing to hear someone say, 'its ok.'

Again, I relate. Its scary how fast time is going .

You are doing a great job! And with getting your deserved feelings out you are helping others!!

You're so cute, coldsore & all. I know you want another baby & you get all those feelings....you might have another baby & in 2 yrs decide you have all those feelings again. Sometimes when girls move out they get closer to their moms I'm not being critical, just food for thought. I longed for children when I was younger but God never blessed me with my own. I had nieces & nephews who I was very, very close to & am so grateful for them. Mary

Thank you for this video. You are strong and wonderful and keep moving forward. ❤❤

Love love LOVE this! I watched every second and loved the realness! Not only does it help you not feel so alone but you're helping others struggling as well. You're such an amazing human Lynn

Love these kind of videos and how your real. I see a lot that are not real and you know they can’t be perfect but it still somehow makes me feel like I don’t have it together so yes I’m glad your showing your “real” side. And Yes, would love to see a skincare vlog!!

Dogs/puppies bring so much happiness! Look into fostering puppies/ dogs. I have a labardoodle and he is hyopalergenic and very well trained. Helps when you want a dog but can financially keep one!

Yass thank you so much for your words I can relate so much

So inspiring, Friend! You are #goals

I know how you feel both my girls are out of the house and it's very depressing. My son is 18 and he's going to the Airforce when he graduates. It's hard for me this year because this may be the last Christmas I have all 3 of them home.

Thanks for being real, relatable and encouraging, love you and your videos.

I love you so much! I needed this video today! You make me want to be better for my little tomorrow. Hugs mama! ❤️❤️❤️

This real raw friends talking video has been my favorite most relatable video yet.

Lol! You crack me up!

I understand on all levels. I'll keep it short, know that I'm praying for you, and you are a very special woman.

Girl, God gave you the words I needed to hear ! Thank you for letting him speak through you. My only girl will be graduating in the next year and doesn’t need her momma like she use to and I’ll be home with all the boys and I’ve been Longing for another girl but know that won’t be finically possible for another year or two and I’m 34 so the time is ticking and my partner is on the baby fence and so the sadness , longing and confused of what the future will be is been weighing me down and watching it the first part of the video made me cry a cry I didn’t think I deserve to have because I’m so blessed . So thank you

Lynn, I just found your channel and love it! I know exactly how you are feeling. I wanted #4 for about 3 years before my husband FINALLY got on board...only to find out after trying for over a year that I had secondary infertility. I was crushed but hubby immediately offered up foster care. I was willing to adopt but not through foster care with the risk of the baby/child going back home. But after lots of prayer that is where God called us. 7 months later we got a call for a 6 day baby boy that we brought home from the hospital. It was a long 18 months before adoption but I knew when he was placed in my arms that he was going to be my son forever. Around the same time, my oldest was going away to college. I also had her at 19 so I completely understand that you feel you grew up together because I feel that way too. I felt like a body part had been ripped from my body. She is finishing up her last year of medical school and married but will finally be home next year after 8 long years. I am counting down the days! Hang in there, momma. There are plenty of others that feel the same way you do.

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