negotiation skills you need to know, negotiation definition, basics and best practices
To. Be successful in negotiation. It's, best to walk in prepared, you. Can work on the fly in minor negotiations. But, preparation. Gives you the information and. Confidence. To think on your feet and to tap your creativity, and to be at ease during your conversation and, to. Do that you're going to need to work through several steps, I've. Identified six. Steps to setting the stage for a successful, negotiation. While. Our example, will primarily be, focused, on salary, and career negotiations. The, same or similar steps, apply to buying a car or any major purchase, or, solving, a problem with a neighbor or a friend or networking. And creating, business partnerships. Step. One and by far the most important, is research, so do not skip it and think you can rely on your wit and charm and, wing it find. Out what, your worth do. A little digging, into the value of your services, in the hands, of your market, sites, like salary comm or Glassdoor. Calm, and get raised calm, as well, as government sites provide. Salary, data based, on the job title, education. Time, on the job and geographic. Region. Once. You've satisfied your curiosity. Determine. What your bottom line is and what you'll do if your bottom line is not met this. Is known, as your Batna or the, best alternative, to a negotiated agreement. I, also, call this your resentment, insurance, number so. Ask yourself, what. Is the least you will accept and still be happy. Now. Make, a list of all the skills you've mastered and, the results, you produce that correspond. To your upcoming, negotiation. Be. Prepared, to sing your own praises. Step. 2 is to prioritize all. The moving parts of your negotiation. And this means you're, going to be making another list for. Job seekers those, moving parts are not only salary, and bonuses, but, also things like vacation. Time health, benefits. Telecommuting. Or flex time options. In. Step 3 map, out the concessions, you're willing to make, for, anything you give up you're gonna be asking, for something in exchange, reciprocity. If you, don't you lay the ground for becoming a doormat, and that is definitely a, losing, career strategy. So. Would, you prefer a higher starting salary, in exchange, for a lower bonus, would. You be willing to exchange some vacation, days if you were offered say more flex time. The. Fourth step involves. Learning as much as you can about your bargaining, partners needs. Google. Your potential, employer client. Or partner, and investigate. The company's website and social, media presence they're, doing the same to find out about you so. What, do they say about themselves what. Do others say about them your. Investigation. Also requires, learning. What your bargaining partner wants to accomplish, then. Prepare, to talk about how your skills results. And accomplishments. Can help them reach their goals, step. 5 is to determine your common, connections, inside, and outside the organization. Most. Likely you'll be finding ways to name-drop, its, strategic. Points, in your negotiation. Just, make sure your connections, are really credible. The. Final, step is to learn who the stakeholders, and decision-makers, are when. You're interviewing for a job you might be starting, with the HR department or you, might be interviewed, by the team you'll be working with you. Should clearly understand, in advance, about, the decision, making process, I highly. Recommend doing all six steps to give you a really, solid footing, if you, spend the time upfront it'll, pay off in the end. You. Is effective. Negotiation, about getting what you want or, is it about everyone, getting what they want I'm going. To define the two big strategies, to help you answer those questions, we're. Talking about distributive. Bargaining and, interest. Based bargaining. Distributive. Bargaining divides. Up a limited, number of benefits, or resources, in other, words let's say you have six pieces of pie your. Job would be to get more slices, than your bargaining partner, used. As your sole strategy, distributive. Bargaining is, a win-lose proposition. Somebody. Gets more while the other gets less. Interspace. Bargaining, is about discovering, your bargaining partners interest, his or her needs and preferences, the. Goal of interest based bargaining is, to expand, the pie of benefits, attempting. To satisfy, as many of your mutual interests, as possible. To. Illustrate the two strategies, I'll tell you a story about two sisters and an orange. Two. Little girls are arguing, about who gets the last orange the. Simple solution, you might think is to cut the orange in half and everybody walks away happy, but. Mom being the uber, problem, solver asked. Her daughter's what they want to do with the orange, one. Daughter explains, she wants to eat it of course, while, the other daughter reveals, that she wants to make zest for a cake she's baking the.
Mother's Questions, are key to uncovering each. Of her daughter's interests, or wishes now. She's able to put a stop to the arguing and satisfy. Both our daughters at the same time, so. Notice that both strategies, are employed the, mother asked questions that helped reveal both daughters interests, and then, she distributes, the orange according, to their preferences. Most. Negotiations. Do become, distributive, at some point after you brainstorm and, expand that pie you will eventually need, to distribute the resources. The. Bottom line is you'll, produce better, outcomes by. Employing both strategies. At. The. Heart of interest-based, negotiation is. A technique, called diagnostic. Questions. Asking. Diagnostic, questions, will help you figure out what, your bargaining, partners interests, are or what, they want out of the deal they are open-ended. Usually. Starting with words like who, what, when, where, or why, or phrases. Like tell, me more about X. Y & Z they're. Also used, to expand, a conversation. If, you were to ask your boss do, you think it's possible for me to get a raise this year you've, created a closed-ended. Question, giving your boss the chance to answer with a simple no but, let's try a different tack on this this. Time using, open-ended, questions. You. Might open the conversation with, questions, like how's. The restructuring, going for you personally or. What. Do you like about working in the new building asking. Open-ended questions help. Set the tone and engage, in things that matter to both you and your partner once. You've established this, connection get. Down to the subject of negotiation. A question. Like what results. Do you most want to see me produce to justify, a raise next review you're. Aligning yourself with company, expectations. And showing. Yourself to be a team player willing. To benefit the whole organization. Your. Boss will likely see, that you're interested in accomplishing group, goals and not, only focused, on self interests, these types of questions are also most, effective, when, you run into objections. Or flat-out refusal. They. Allow you to dig a little deeper, and create an atmosphere of mutual problem, solving, in the absence of facts and information, we. Tend to mind-read, and make assumptions.
Or Worse, we try to convince people to do something they don't want to do, asking. Diagnostic, questions, helps you gain clarity, and guide. The conversation toward, agreement, and if you get stuck remember, the W's who, what, when where and why and, see, what follows. You. Sometimes. We enter into a negotiation feeling. Like we're at a disadvantage, our, bargaining. Partner may want more than we can give or we, fear that what we asked for might get rejected, it. Can be tough in these negotiations. Especially. Since some bargainers, perceive all negotiation. As conflict, instead, of a conversation. So. We develop strategies, for easing, our fear these, strategies, or styles, are ingrained, responses, to conflict they're part of our DNA our, subconscious. In business. And in life these, strategies, can get in the way of our ability, to produce the outcomes, we want in negotiation. So. Let's talk about the five strategies, for, dealing with conflict, avoidance. Suppression. Resolution. Transformation. And transcendence. The. First two which are really the most common strategies, include. Avoidance, and suppression so. Avoid, it let's. Say you've had an argument, with a friend or a co-worker you might avoid their calls or their emails, for days before. Attempting, to clean things up. Suppression. Is a little bit more overt, if somebody. Asks you for a favor or to talk about a sticky subject you, might just flat-out refuse, to talk about it, the. Third style, resolution. Is more, conscious, a little bit more evolved, you, acknowledge, the problem, or the issue and, you offer to make things right. When. We become a bit more practiced at resolving, conflict, we often, lean toward transformation. That. Means we use the conflict, to shift our behavior, with, the goal of transforming, not just the conflict, but, the relationship. As well. The. Final conflict style is transcendence. You. Finally, move past the need to engage in the conflict in the first place that is the conflict, no longer triggers a knee-jerk reaction. So. What do you do with all this information, your. First task is to be straight, with yourself, and see, how you typically, respond, to conflict turn up your awareness, your. Second, task is to turn your noticing, into action, challenge. Yourself to resolve, a conflict. So. Over the next few days pay attention, to your typical reactions, to conflict, in your, relationships, both at home and at work. When. We decide we want or need something, and we set our sights on getting it we, place ourselves in, the path of potential, conflict, with someone or something, not.
Everyone, You deal with will know how to ask diagnostic. Questions, or, how to brainstorm and, expand, a conversation. To engage in problem solving, instead. You're bargaining partner, may resort to contentious. Tactics in an, attempt to hold their ground or, keep, as many of the pieces of the pie as possible. It's. Important, for you to learn and recognize, these tactics, so you can either disengage. Meet. Fire with fire or change. The game a, sampling. Of the contentious, tactics are, ingratiating. Promises. Shaming. And persuasive. Argument, ation all, of, these tactics are attempts, to manipulate your. Bargaining, partner and here, is what they look like in action. Ingratiate, is getting, what we want through charm or flattery, or just, because we're so darn likeable in truth. This is a useful, tactic, and most, appreciated. When it's authentic. Promises. Is getting what you want now by agreeing to do something, later, again. This is a useful tactic, especially, when it's employed for mutual gain as, opposed. To a power play. Shaming. Is much more common, than we'd all like to admit this. Tactic, is expressing. Shock or, disapproval. About somebody's, behavior usually. On moral grounds. Persuasive. Argument, ation is the use of logic and reason to. Change somebody's, behavior or, position, or to prove how you're right and they're, wrong or, to. Lower their expectations. So. Do, you disengage meet, fire with fire or change, the game if you. Are in harm's, way, disengage, for. Everything else remember, every, accusation is, a cry for help so. Here are a few ways to navigate contentious. Tactics and, bring, your leadership to bear. Focus. On the problem, not the person not. Only will you avoid blame and insults you'll, demonstrate, how skilled and value, you are. Reflect. What you hear like active, listening, paraphrase. What's been said but. Let your conversation, partner know the impact, of their words, again. Use diagnostic. Questions and brainstorm. To help return to cooperation. Name. The problem, after. Reflecting your partner's opinion, or perspective. Identified. The underlying issue, doing.
This Often diffuses. The tension, and brings, people back to cooperation. Most. Of the contentious, tactics are, not inherently, good or bad their, survival, tactics, and we've been using them for millions of years by. Recognizing. Them as they're happening you'll, be better prepared to, pause slow, things down and, de, personalize, the situation. Then. You can make more collaborative. Choices, in the, moment. You. All. Right you've done your research and, you know what you want and what. You're worth in the hands of your market you. Are now prepared, to sit down with your bargaining partner and make something happen, to. Start a solid negotiation. You should establish a connection with your partner engage. In active listening and frame, your opening request as a benefit. Establishing. Connection, and Trust is primarily. A matter of small talk people. Often make the mistake of cutting to the chase in, an effort to appear businesslike. And conscious. Of time constraints. But research. Shows when you take the time to break the ice by, talking, about the kids or new, cars or how they like their new office, it, releases, the feel-good bonding. Hormone oxytocin, in, fact. Research. Also shows that negotiations. Taking place over, coffee or a meal produce. Much more favorable, outcomes, so, break bread with your bargaining partner and do, not underestimate, the, power of small talk, next. Practice active, listening, let, your bargaining partner know you understand. Their perspectives, and issues, this. Involves, paraphrasing. Key points, throughout the conversation. When. Using active listening skills you're. Learning, what's working and what's not working for, your bargaining partner, so, paraphrase, what you hear and continue, to ask diagnostic. Questions. What's. Happening, here is you're attempting, to expand, that pie of possibilities. And gather, as much information as, possible in. Order to dovetail your, offer with, their needs. Once. You've established that, connection and listen, to your partner your. Next step is to frame your opening, offer or request, you'll. Want to position, this as a benefit, to them to let them know how, you can help them solve a problem, or fill, an expressed, need, this. Involves, addressing each of the issues and goals, by, explaining, how your services, or your skills, will, help them accomplish those, goals so. Establish. A connection use. Active, listening skills and, frame. Your request as a benefit. Framing. Is an elegant, communication. Tool it's, the skill of creating, perspectives, so that a decision can be made so, here's how it works if you're.
Negotiating With, a potential, client and, you learn how to satisfied. They were about, meeting project, deadlines with, a former, consultant you, have an opportunity to frame your services, in a new light you, can tell them how you've come in under budget or, ahead of schedule you can offer to put them in touch with clients, for whom you've done similar, work and you, can finish by offering a starting, number for the project, by. Doing this you frame the request around time budget. And reputation. As benefits. To your bargaining, partner, while, also anchoring. The monetary, value within it. Framing. Not only focuses, attention it, also influences. Judgments, it, organizes. A person's, thoughts around a specific category or, or, outcome. And people. Tend to create responses. To fit the frame a question. As innocuous as, how tall is he frames. The response, in terms of height, research. Shows that people give higher numbers, when asked, how tall or large someone, is than, they do when asked how short or small someone, is, many. Negotiations, look. And sound like contest, between right and wrong it's. Critical, that you learn to frame and reframe. The subject, of a conversation. In a, way that encourages, people to move from competition. To, collaboration. I'll. Give, you a few reliable, ways to reframe, negotiations. That, are heading south, when. You're in the middle of a conversation that's, becoming adversarial. Shift. The focus from the people, who are negotiating the fight to. The problem, that is, be hard on the problem, and soft, on the people if, you. Or your bargaining, partner are stuck on being right, acknowledge. That you're on opposite, sides and use. Diagnostic, questions, to shift the focus and find, out what they really want if, you're. Willing to make concessions but you're bargaining partner, is not, reframe. The situation, by, changing, the emphasis from the roadblock to, exploring, other possibilities. When. Somebody, is stuck in the past, encourage. Them to look forward to next steps, remind. Them what's, done is done and the solution, lies in what's ahead. You. One, of the most powerful tools, in your negotiation. Toolkit, is anchoring. Anchoring. Is, the practice, of creating a reference point, around, which a negotiation, will revolve, whoever. Makes the first reasonable, offer sets. The anchor and the, remainder of the negotiation. Will revolve around it. For. Example, listing, your house for. Three hundred and fifty five thousand, nine hundred as opposed. To a round number like three hundred and fifty six thousand. Influences. The buyer to make counter, offers in smaller, increments, so. Not only do you want to anchor first you. Want to anchor in your favour this. Means if you're a seller you. Want to anchor with a higher price, if you're, a buyer then you want to anchor low. You. Can use anchor, strategically. To negotiate, anything, but. Let's take a look at why they work. Anything. You're negotiating has. Positive. And negative, attributes, or qualities, that, suggest a higher or lower value. So. High anchors, direct a person's attention toward, an items positive, attributes, whereas. Low, anchors, direct attention to its flaws if, you're. Buying a used car you will likely point out features, like high mileage or, damage in the upholstery, as the. Seller you might focus on perfect, mechanical, maintenance and freeway, miles. Making. The first offer is crucial. And when, your offer is credible, and specific your. Bargaining, partner, will typically, adjust, very, little from, the anchor. Another. Benefit, of making an aggressive first, offer is that. You'll be able to encourage more concessions, from your bargaining partner, so. Let's say you offer ten, thousand dollars for a car that lists for fifteen, thousand, then. The dealer counters with fourteen you. Might be willing to adjust upwards. If the dealer sweetens, the pot with, a couple, of features you want or say. A better interest, rate in, fact. One of the best predictors, of negotiations, satisfaction. Is the, number and size, of concessions. Your, bargaining, partner makes in your favor. Just as anchors, may be used to your benefit, they, may also be deployed against, you if you. Think an offer or a counteroffer or a concession. Might cause the conversation, to break down, remember. To ask diagnostic. Questions, to, gain clarity and test the strength of their offer, then. You want to paraphrase your new understanding. And assure, them that with all the moving parts you're confident, you can come to an agreement. Anchoring. Is a power, tool, by. Anchoring first, and anchoring, in your favor you, give yourself a wiggle room to trade things of value which, in turn will, bring you closer, to, your bottom, line. Let's. Make this simple a concession. Is giving, away a privilege, a fact, or a piece of your pie and, reciprocity. Is, asking, for something in return. Learning. To negotiate, is very much like learning to improvise, you, study the fundamentals.
You Practice, and rehearse and when, you step on stage anything. Can happen. Because. Making concessions. And asking, for reciprocity is, for many people the most difficult, part of negotiation. It's, the one thing you don't want to improvise in the moment you. Want to plan what you're willing to give up and what you might want in return, without. Reciprocity. A concession. Is a one-way. Transaction. Or settling. And caving in to demands, the. Result, is the gradual, whittling, away of your true interests. And your preferences, and sometimes. Your principles. So. If you're in a career of negotiation. For example, you, need to source your values, and priorities is it, a deal breaker if, you don't get three weeks of vacation every. Year or would. You be happy with ten days do. You absolutely, need two days of telecommuting, per week or would you settle for twice a month, these. Are the kinds of things you need to think about and plan for. Before, you even start, talking. To. Help you once you sit down at the bargaining table here, are some key points to, remember, when. You asked for a concession, listen, carefully, to your bargaining, partners response, and, paraphrase. What they've said. Follow. That up by stressing, the fairness, of your proposal, if you're. Bargaining partner, asks you for something in return, stress. Your willingness, to be agreeable, while. Also letting them know how difficult it is if you. Get stuck or things seemed to stall, surprise. Surprise, ask, diagnostic. Questions, to uncover the underlying reasons, and get, things moving again if, your. Requests, are still being met with refusal, you can do two things, suggest. Pausing to, sleep on it or end. The negotiation walk. Away. Your. Bargaining partner, will sometimes, capitulate. In a moment or after, thinking about it overnight. Making. Concessions, and asking. For reciprocity is, about being creative with all the moving parts of the negotiation. Many. People think negotiation. Is all about compromise. The. Goal is not compromise. But, exchanging. Things of value to, get to an agreement everybody. Is happy about if. You. Don't get you agreement it could be a good thing because. The last thing you want is to regret, the outcome. In. A perfect world your bargaining, partner is as invested in your interests, as you are in theirs the. Reality, is you, may often deal with people who are argumentative, and try to win at all costs, they, actually enjoy crushing, their opponent, you so. What do you do when you're bargaining partner, is less than cooperative. The. Variety, of tactics, available, to achieve your negotiation. Goals is nearly infinite, so. Let's talk about the strongest, and most effective, means, of dealing with lack, of cooperation if. You. Sense that your negotiation. Is likely to be pretty hard ball you might want to prepare by. Crafting, a side deal first, do. Your research and come, to the table with options, having. A back-up plan is not only smart, but, can give you a real advantage, for. Example if you're a consultant, and you've just landed a contract at your top rate use.
That Agreement to position, yourself at the top of the bargaining, range with your next client. Next. Do your best to match your partner's conversation. Style as you. Settle into the conversation. Notice, is, your bargaining partner relying on story, technical. Information, like statistics. Or, how about cultural. Values, whatever. The case match, style, for style if you. Still feel at a loss at, least acknowledge, that you might be talking past one another and ask, how you might get on the same page, if. You're still running into a roadblock, remember. Meet, fire with fire it. May be time to set aside the conversation. And come back to it later in, any, case be, willing to outweigh, your bargaining, partner, and remember. The, most powerful, negotiation. Tactic, is silence. You.