Keith Eats Everything At Red Lobster

Keith Eats Everything At Red Lobster

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- On January 18th, 1968 in Lakeland, Florida, Bill Darden, and Charlie Woodsby opened the first Red Lobster. Apparently, there was a hotel called the Red Lobster Inn before that it must have been a success, but they're like, we gotta feed these people. It then was bought by General Mills of all people. And it grew real big by invading old dead Ponderosa Steakhouse Restaurant. Red Lobster, it's alive, it's big and it's at a mall near you.

And today, we're eating everything from Red Lobster. As always, Eat the Menu is brought to you by Keith's Not-Too-Hot Sauces. I have found that the taco sauce is quite good on seafood. You know, it's in the link in the description. Let's get this show on the road or let's get this boat on the sea.

Let's set sail, (upbeat music) You know, lobster eyes get really hard when you boil 'em. Is that a thing that all eyes do or just lobster eyes? All right, let's get started with some appetizers. Before you start your meal, would you look a cocktail? A shrimp cocktail, did the shrimp's move? Hmm, they didn't. Feels like shrimp cocktail something, you only have it really fancy restaurants and parties around Christmas. Really don't know why shrimp became a Christmas food. It's always good.

Taste as good as a grocery store. That is like most of America's experience shrimp cocktail. That was delicious. Still cold, crispy, juicy, not overcooked, not undercooked.

One of the best bugs that we eat. The Mussels. Now mussels aren't supposed to be eaten year round. I don't know if we're in the section of the year where it's okay, but let's find out.

It comes with bread and it smells loud. Smells like olive garden kind of, it smells like Italian dish. They're stiff. They're stiffly open, get all the butter. There's so much garlic and butter in this.

This actually feels like a fancy restaurant because I've never seen so much flavor in the mussel, you know? Normally it's like drops right out of the mouth. Now this one, let's try the mussels. That's good. It's all butter. That is butter salt.

I always love the appetizers in the Eat the Menu. And I think it's just because I'm starving. We gotta... Do it, Eat the Menu backwards. I always like this, the bread? I mean, it's good, it's bread.

I'm dibbing it into butter juice. I love it. Those mussels are strong. Just like a big strong man on the beach. Mussels on the beach, mussels have been on the beach before man had muscles. Calamari...

Calamari. We all know that, we don't know if calamari is what? That's right audience, pig anus. Apparently, pig anus and squid have a very similar consistency. And they are legally allowed to sell you calamari if it's a pig anus, which is why anytime you see calamari and there aren't any of the squid babies, you should assume it might be pig anus, and let tell you, no squid babies here. Let's try one without the pepperoncini first. The Calamari.

Chewy, here's what I wonder, if it's pig anus, how big are pig anuses? That's a big anus. If it is anus, this is huge bowel, right? I guess hogs are huge, actually. I met a hog, it was bigger than me. So I guess yeah, maybe that checks out. Let's try it with a pepperoncini.

The pepperoncinis gives the crunch, that you wish it had by itself. I don't know what I'm eating, but I'm satisfied. If it is pig anus, it's pig anus. And I'm okay with that. Well, it's time for some more appetizers to help me out on my favorite appetizers before a big meal, Alex and Hughie of Lewberger.

Welcome to Eat the Menu tables stage! - Dude, I can't believe that you broke the wizard of friendships heart. - Me? - Yeah. - I did not break the wizard of friendships heart, Keith broke the wizard of friendships heart - Keith broke the wizard of friendships heart.

- Keith, what do you have to say for yourself? - We're doing a show in July in Los Angeles called the "Wizard of Friendship." It's a play musical. That it's also a comedy special and there's gonna be a wizard there. - Come out, get your tickets.

It's gonna be a great time. You know you wanna be there. - Go to the Lewberger Instagram and click the link. - Tune-tune! It's time for everyone's favorite segment. - Oh, boy. - [Alex & Hughie] Alex, brought some cookies to the all you can eat eating the menu time. Thank you, Nick.

- You got Snickerdoodles, I saw 'em on Instagram. Alex Lewis tagged me in his preparatory baking video and ruined it. - [Keith & Hughie] The Snickerdoodle from Alex. Good texture all around. - Thank you. - You can tell it's a good Snickerdoodle because when you're holding it and then you set down, you can hear the sugar.

- The granules. The Bacon-Wrapped Sea Scallops without the bacon for Hughie. - I know that people are gonna be in the comments.

Oh, how are you eating shellfish, but you're not eating pork? It's my fucking religious observance. Hands off. - Look at this. - Wow. - This looks fun. - It does look fun, those scallops don't look bad for a Red Lobster.

- It doesn't feel poised to be shared. It feels like it's just for one king to eaten in front of the other people. - You're right. Although, the bacon's good.

- It's amazing, guys. - And I'm only gonna have the scallop, I'm gonna have the worst part of this whole thing. - It's not a terrible scallop. Scallops are challenging to some people 'cause they're very gogo... Ah, you better take a bite to that.

You better take at least a bite. You don't have to eat the whole, whole medallion, but it's not bad. It's just, it's a scallop.

- Nice scallop. - I do. (group laughing) Thanks, Hughie. All right, that was fine.

Crab-Stuffed Shrimp Rangoon. - Ooh, rangoon - So many things. Now normal rangoon is crab-stuffed. They actually look amazing, they look like they're covered in little tiny tortilla squares. - Little tiny frosta flakes. - Don't they look like...

- A ticker-tape parade. Uh-oh, careful. Watch out from my sassy little sauce. - Oh, very good. - That is good.

- That sauce spicier than I thought it would be. I'm eating the other one. - I'm going in for another. - That was fucking baller. It tastes like all the things its describing. And this is basically one time.

It's tiny little pieces of one time, sometimes the chains miss the mark. They nailed it this time. Butterfly, Coconut Shrimp. Is that what this is? Yeah. Oh, actually I'm sorry. It's Parrot Isle Jumbo Coconut Shrimp.

Parrot Isle, Parrot Isle. - Ka-ka! - I know it's a Parrot Island. Parrot Island.

I hope this is tartar sauce, but it looks like cheese. - I think it's a coconut sauce. This looks like a food that Jimmy Buffet would love. - Oh, hell yeah. Wasting away.

♪ In Parrot Islandville ♪ - All right, let's try the Parrot Isle Coconut Shrimp. It's like a Pina Colada sauce. - [Crew] 'Cause that's what it is. - I'm liking this. - I don't like that shrimp.

- I like that shrimp. I liked how weird it was. - You know, to be fair.

- No one's going try to eat some of your food when you ordered that. - I was set up for failure there because of the cheese prediction of the sauce. So I thought cheese was coming, and it was not. - I also was very confused 'cause it smelled like cheese. - [Hughie] Is that Broccoli Cheddar Soup? - I think - Oh! It looks like a bunch of little chicken meatballs covered in mozzarella. - That looks like the toxic Avenger.

- It's not a dip. These are stuffed mushrooms. Grab yourself a big fat juicy button mushroom full of crab and cheese.

- I hate. - They're hanged in the Langostorino. - I hate mushrooms. - Oh, you can eat this. - Oh no.

- Let's go. - Oh, oh my God. - It's actually better than I thought it was gonna be. - I really set the bar way lower, - Heavy crab flavor - And heavy goo. - Heavy goo. - Heavy experience.

You know what the goo is? It's very gooey in there. - I don't think I could swallow this. - Oh, spit it out, bro. - I really... - Takes some hot sauce. - This is so gross. - So proud of you. That would be way better with hot sauce.

- It would be great. - This needs like this. This is like sweeter one 'cause it's very like one note goo mushroom. - That was so unpleasant. - All right, let's have a little spinach and artichoke and crab lobster dip.

- I mean, come on. We should throw this in the microwave or something. - That was a liquid at one point. - Yeah, let's nuke it real quick. We read your guys' comments.

You were like, "Why don't they microwave it?" I'm like, you think microwave's gonna make it taste better? Okay, sure. So we're doing it. We're on the loose, we're on the prowl.

Things are wild, let's try the Pico de Gallo. Well, the chips are good. The chips are the thinness of and like a rice paper, like a spring roll wrapper. - Ooh, it's good Pico de Gallo. - Yeah, it's totally good.

While we're waiting on the dip, something we don't have to wait on, is the Red Lobster biscuits. It's their free bread. It's the seafood stuff mushroom, according to the box, obviously. It's not... Very sweet of them, let's try. I think most people think this is the best free bread.

- Thank you. Really? - In the whole restaurant industry in the whole game. Let's try the Cheddar Bay Biscuits. - Wow. - Really the best thing at Red Lobster. - So much salt, Oh my goodness gracious.

- Wow. - It's so salty, you lick your lips and it's like, Ooh, I'm gonna need Chapstick later. (Hughie laughing) - Oh wow. - Oh, oh you we're right. Hell yeah, a whole new world of flavor. The rubs, but it's still a biscuit.

So it's still dry and thick. You swallow it, you're like, wow. They're really having a hilarious time figuring out the microwave in there. - I'm gonna figure it out. - [Keith] There's two of them working on it.

Worked on it and then gave up for a while. Desiree came in. - We can see the steam wafting off of that. - So hot now. - Oh boy. - Okay, let's try this dip. Beep, beep, beep.

- That's actually good, wow. - Whoa. - That is good. - It's got some kind of crazy flavor in it. - It tastes kinda like Fettuccine Alfredo to me.

- Yeah. - Definitely, it does. - Try with a little bit of that goo. - But that's actually pig anus, is that what I? - No, no, no, that's the Calamari. - Hold on a second. Is it confirmed that Red Lobster uses pig anus for their Calamari? - No.

I'm not saying Red Lobster serves pig anus. - No. - Somebody take that clip - No! - Some of the guys like just that. - We gotta move on.

You're going to a seafood chain after a hot day of shopping for new backpacks and school supplies. You want pizza, but the only place open is Red Lobster. Don't worry, they got you covered. This pizza looks hilarious. It kinda looks good. It definitely looks like a frozen pizza.

You can make it home. The Red Lobster Pizza. - Oh my God, so much better than I thought was gonna be. I was prepared for the worst experience of my life.

- One of the ways to keep your pizza from not sticking to the pan is by putting flour. Another ways, corn mill. But here they've chosen to only use salt. - It's really working for me. - Honestly

like an eighth of a teaspoon of salt. - I'm gonna try this sauce. - Enough by it. You gotta eat it upside down. So the salt doesn't burn through your tongue when you eat it. - Won't you dust it off a little bit.

You know what? It's great. - You just got, once a community experience in a certain way. - It does look pretty disgusting. - It doesn't look disgusting, it just looks boring. - It looks disgusting to me. - It looks pretty nasty.

It's all dry and the... - There's a pizza! - It doesn't look like it's been... - It does look like yesterday pizza. - Yeah. - But that's probably on us. - That is pro- that's true. - Takes a time to getting the camp table, table cloth, lights, camera, the microphone, tee time, this is film shooting.

This is not real life. Well, Lewberger, other than Wizard of Friendship that's coming in July in Los Angeles, what else is going on? - Well, as always, we're taking inquiries from colleges that want us to play. We got a lot of shows coming up in the spring.

If you wanna be one of those colleges, email, book, - All right, let's move on and to see what next. Bye Lewberger, thanks for coming, bye.

(crosstalk) - See you later, lobster you later. - How about a round of a claws. Sandwiches and Bowls. is that actually the category of the menu? Included in the bowls section of the menu is salad, but only Caesar salad. The Caesar Salad.

There's two tubs of Caesar dressing. It's gonna be almost impossible to fuck this up. Just Parmesan, lettuce and bread, and anchovy dressing or sardines in it, which one's in it? Anchovies, sardines? Some dead fish. - [Nick] Anchovies.

- Anchovies, all right. I mean, that's what it tastes like. Now, Caesar salad can come plain or it can come with three proteins, who wants chicken? Make some noise, make some noise.

Who wants shrimp? Make some noise, make some noise. Who wants salmon? Make some noise, make some noise. - Yeah. - Oh, salmon, salmon. Here it goes. So we'll start with salmon. Old tiny baby salmon.

Look at this. (mimicking cars) It kinda looks like a car. (mimicking cars) The Salmon Caesar. A bit on the dry side, but not bad. Definitely fine, it's still flakes, you know? No, it's pretty good.

It does have those grill marks, but this was really grilled, it is dry, but I'm very happy that those aren't just painted on grill lines, you know? Let's try it with little shrimps. These shrimps look seasoned. They are seasoned. Grab ourselves a little Shrimp Caesar bite. I know that whenever I do these videos, it's like so salty.

I keep saying everything's so salty, it's 'cause it's just, that's the number one spice. It goes salt, something else. Like there's all this room for more flavor to come in, but salt is really, it's like salt, salt, salt, salt, pepper, salt, garlic, salt. Ooh, look, it's been cut for me like a baby. Do you like that? Like that, with salmon? Cut it yourself. The chicken? We'll handle it.

It looks like this person was afraid to poison me. They like really cook the fuck out of the chicken. All of these are totally enjoyable.

If you wanna just have like a little bit of seafood flavor and mostly romaine lettuce and Parmesan and salt, it's a way to go. It's really good. I got nothing bad to say about it.

You don't have to be Chili's, you know? Don't have to be Chili's out here. Well, let's continue to sa- this is heavy, Seems a heavy bowl. This feels like I moved just Chipotle real quick. We got the Sesame-Soy Salmon Bowl. Wow, this looks awesome. I will say though, this is not what a bowl is.

I would not think that I should mash this side with this side. I'm really thrilled to see these brussels sprouts that have little onion crispies on them. Oh yeah! Those brussels sprouts, those would cost $18 in LA bar. Try the salmon and the rice... Brussels sprouts doing all the heavy lifting in this dish. There must be a lot of sugar in this.

It is so wet and caramelized, this looks kinda burnt, right? It looks like it's too cooked, it's not. It doesn't have that too cooked flavor. I think it's just so much density of sweetness. It's not bad, but that's bad. My bean. That's bad.

That shitty, confusing salad, you get it at Hibachi grills with that bizarre orange dressing. Mostly I do eat it 'cause I'm starving. And I'm so excited 'cause I haven't eaten much, 'cause I'm excited for Hibachi. That's not a good salad, but the brussels sprouts are amazing. Let's move to the other side, though. Let's do the Baja Shrimp Bowl.

Again, this is heavy. This feels like two pounds, three pounds, even. Which it's a lot of dinner. But look at this big ass avocado in here.

Let's get this certainly spicier sauce on it 'cause it tastes like nothing right now. It tastes exactly like Baja Fresh and it should. It's Baja Shrimp Bowl. It's not bad, everything in here kinda tastes sweet.

And this brings in all the flavor. I wish the components of the dish we're just more flavorable, but again, yeah, it's fine. Well, those are all the bowls and salads, but we got some sandwiches and I am really excited for this.

It looks like a feast. The Crispy Cod Sandwich. Look at that big piece of fish. Beautiful, got a nice crisp to it. Got some tartar sauce and slaw. It looks like a tremendous sandwich.

Whoa! Little well done on the bun, huh? I feel like now I'm at a beach bar. I feel like fucking watch people surf right now. This is good.

This looks too burnt, but the char, weirdly is kinda nice. Adds a little bitterness into it. Now let's find out if they know how to be a different thing altogether. This is a Nashville Hot Chicken Sandwich. Nashville won't be pleased. This doesn't go on a Nashville Hot Chicken Sandwich, but we'll put these pepperoncinis back on.

Nashville Hot Chicken Sandwich really should just be a normal chicken sandwich pickles, but it's super spicy. And there's some Mayo on it to help eat them, that's all it needs. It's covered in the honey or something. It's not bad actually. It's not very spicy. And coming from me, you know, that's true.

I do like it. I would say, if you are not good at handling spicy food and you want to impress your friends, and they don't try this or order it, and you eat the whole thing, you'll look you're a champion. 'Cause they'll think it's just natural hot, which is hot.

Use this sandwich to make you look tough. Wagyu Bacon Burger. (chuckles) It's a Wagyu Bacon Cheeseburger. It's falling apart. It's odd, I'm gonna try this once clean and then I'll throw a little burger sauce on it, see if it helps it out. But this might be good, it's Wagyu! Hmm, no, no.

If have one of those microwaveable burgers at a 7-Eleven, I hope you haven't. But if you have, kinda seems like that. You did travel here, sat for like 15 minutes. Not it didn't sit for like two hours. We do get different shipments of food throughout the day. So stuff sits around, but it doesn't sit around like four hours, it's like some of you think it does.

But that said, it's not good. It just tastes burned. Still moist, but burned. A lot better.

The sauce is good. It's very disappointing compared to the other sandwiches. I don't know how I feel about all this 'cause I'm liking a lot more than I thought they're over complicating some things, but it's good. I like Red Lobster. I'm dumbfounding, but there's a lot more to go guys.

We're gonna find... We're gonna see how they do once we get into only seafood butter, okay? So let's keep going. Let's keep dragging. Let's keep cruising. Let's keep sailing. Soups and Sides.

It seems like we got a lot of goo coming up. Something in the last little reset made me real tired, but I got a Red Bull, unofficial sponsor, Eat the Menu, but they could be a real sponsor. Red Bull's always like we're trying to show people doing crazy, impressive things. Just 'cause I don't shoot a bicycle up 20 feet in the air, doesn't mean I'm not doing something most people can't or I'll sell out Monster Energy, gimme a call.

Any of 'em. What's this, a salad? Yum, this is Becky's favorite, the Ranch Salad. I realized the other day, the reason you can't make a salad this good at home is 'cause you don't have croutons.

That's what makes it so good, is that little crunchy seasoned bread. Send this to Becky. But the ranch at Outback Steakhouse is better. Oh shoot, they're back.

They're ready to be the stars of the video. It's the Brussels Sprouts. They're good.

Nick, do you like brussels sprouts? - [Nick] I do. - You're gonna love these. You're gonna be blown away. They're arguably too sweet and too salty, but they're good.

Had this been the brussels sprouts that were available when we were children and when everyone was going, Ew, brussels sprouts, that would not have been a thing. Oh it's potato, a potato. It's potato, it's a baked potato. Look at all that salt.

This caked on sea salt. The baked potato, (indistinct) That's not how you eat a baked potato. I do eat one.

I mean I'd like it to have butter and salt, and pepper, but when this skin is this salted, it's actually really good. A little bland, but it's a great baked potato. I was somewhere, I was trying to just buy a fucking baked potato. I looked at restaurants, nobody just had a baked potato. - [Crew] Why didn't you go to Wendy's? - I didn't wanna Wendy potato.

Those are steamed potatoes. I wanted a big honking steakhouse baked potato. Know why I had the stomach flu and I wanted a baked potato. It's the perfect bland food. What's the world coming to? You could...

You buy 'em for 50 cents, you get to charge me $8 for that. It's like the best value. Okay, I'll move on, but I was upset. Broccoli. It smells better than the broccoli from Outback. Y'all remember that? We had to like take it outside.

Broccoli. I wish I had that pizza to just dust some salt onto this 'cause it's totally unseasoned, but you know what? It's not bad, very bland. It tastes like baby food. It tastes like nothing.

It tastes like water. Honestly, probably the best broccoli I've ever had from a chain restaurant. That's not saying much though. We got, Hey, a baked potato with a tiny little finger in it. Baked potato with cream, cream and baby fake lobster.

Where's the liquid coming from? How's it doing that? It's a little like a magic trick. Where's it go? Where's it come from? I don't know who orders this. Like if you want either of these things, they're probably better separate. This is for people who want chowder, but they don't wanna order chowder. It's like a potato and lobster chowder, but it's the kinda eat with fork and a knife.

It says fries, I thought it said yikes. The Red Lobster, yikes. These are fries, I had these fries earlier. They're pretty good. They're fine.

Probably would've be better with ketchup. Let me know if this is you. Sometimes the cold fries, make your tongue feel weird. Like make your tongue feel kind of itchy. Becky, try one of these fries. Nice, does it make your tongue itchy? - [Becky] No, it's french fries.

- Yeah, I know I got freak tongue. I just wanna know if anybody else ever had this idea where they eat French fry, their tongue itches and burns. Let's have Clam Chowder, New England (chuckles) call 'em up. Call up the queen, let 'em know we got a better version than them. This is potatoes.

Hold on, this is mashed potatoes. So they weren't sure what they gave us. I love the honesty. They wrote Creamy Langostino question mark, but that's actually the Langostino on the mashed potatoes.

That's how it's supposed to be served. So this is the Creamy Langostino Mashed Potatoes. I will get to the clam chowder next. So tell the queen, we'll be right back. It taste like an elementary school's attempt at seafood. It's too like fake butter tasting, and too many instant instants going on, like there's an instant gravy and an instant mashed potato on these confusing little tiny lobster bites.

It's not good. I love this, maybe it was us. But I like to believe that they weren't sure either.

I don't know about you, but when I want chowder, I want it to be just milk. I don't want it to be thick. I want it to pour, pour like a waterfall, baby. How did they even get it that thin? It's like at the end they just dropped a gallon milk in. Smells exactly like Campbell's Clam Chowder, which I have had. I know, I don't know what I was thinking.

The Creamy Clam Chowder. Tastes like a hot clam milk. I don't even wanna say it tastes like a hot clam milk. It tastes like bland, nothing water. I'm still I'm chewing this clam, like it's a piece of gum. Okay, well let's try the Lobster Bisque.

That clam chowder was a trip, Huh? It was more of a drip, I would say, This is soup, see that? Chunky thick. That's what it should be, a Lobster Bisque. Bisque, I like that word. Bisque, bisque. Bisque, bisque? Bisque? Is it French? Anybody here never in- Jonathan? Bisque. That sounds Spanish.

Bisque, bisque. - I think it was actually would be biscuit? - Bisque (chuckles) Lobster Bisque (chuckles) Let's try it. Oh... Am I drowning? Wow, it burns. Whoa.

It tastes like a loaf of sourdough bread. What is it? I have to do, I gotta go in again. (deeply inhales) Here we go, okay. I can't describe it. It is the worst soup I've ever had. It's so revolting.

I couldn't imagine talking to my server after receiving this, I wouldn't be able to look at them. It's so bad. I would take the milk soup in a heartbeat over this.

That is so gross. Let's try some coleslaw. Let's remember, it is a seafood restaurant after all. We get coleslaw and look at all the pepper on there. I love that. It tastes like Italian dressing.

It tastes like honey mustard, an Italian dressing and cabbage. So sweet. Good crunch, though. Fresh cabbage.

Let's try the rice or as we say, rice. It's got little dots. It's got quinoa in it, quinoa and some other sprouted grain. I'd rather have it taste like nothing than tastes like bad. You can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

Mashed potatoes. This is my childhood favorite, but they were white cheddar mash potatoes back then. As good as they used to be, it taste like Cracker Bell's Mashed Potatoes. Like very peppery, kind of a Southern buttery flavor. Not bad though.

Very pepper, black pepper. Could be better, could be worse. They were rolling really well for a while at Red Lobster, then we got to this section and things started going downhill.

Will they keep rolling down or will we take an escalator back to victory? Find out next as we approach pastas. It's time for pasta and who better to have some noodles than my wife, Becky Habersberger. Welcome to Eat the Menu tables stage. - Hello. - What's up baby? - Hey. - How's it going? - Good.

- You used to work at Red Lobster, correct? - I did. - And when did you work there? Which one? Tell us about it. - So I worked at the Red Lobster that was in Orland Park, Illinois across the street from a mall and I was a hostess, and I was 16. - In my head, it feels like somebody's squeezing my mind. So thirsty. - Have a shed of water, instead of a Red Bull.

- The Kung Pao Noodles with Chicken. First of all, Kung Pao Chicken is rarely with noodles. Hey, yum. (clapping) Thank you. - I'm just a little confused on this. Like how this got on their menu.

'Cause there's nothing else that's in any way, Asian. - And these... - [Jonathan] Tilt it towards me. - You want this, Jonathan? - Look at that Johnny. - That's what do you want? - Johnny give it a look. - Poor Jonathan. - It smells bad.

Yeah, it really does not smell appetizing. - It's so sugary, Kung Pao Chicken is not sweet. Not bad. - It tastes like when you make the box or like the frozen Chinese food. - It tastes sweet, but it burns your tongue, like it's spicy, but it doesn't taste like Oh, yummy spicy food.

It's like Oh, sweet food and my mouth hurts. - Well, if you like that one, Keith, you're gonna love noodles and lobster for noodles. Oh, boy, doesn't look like that.

- I can't wait. It really jumped out of its shell. - It did and it's so wet on the bottom. - Scared right out of its shell. It looks like that...

- Yeah. - The same noodles. I'm just gonna try this wacky little lobster. It's tough. Okay. Let's shove some noodles in my mouth. - If you didn't like that, the other one was hot, Keith, don't worry. (chuckles)

It's the same flavor. - She's right. This lobster is...

- They're not bad. - It taste just like shrimp. - Well, it kinda like hurts to eat it. - Like the Salty Dog Cafe in South Carolina.

Is that what happens when you drop a tail into a deep fryer? - Bite it, taste it. So does it taste like a deep... No don't like swallow it. - I'll do whatever you just say, honey. - Don't swallow it. (chuckles)

I meant, just taste the side, not eat a shell. - You said to bite it. - How did you stay alive as a child? - I guess not a lot of people told me the wrong thing to do.

- Did it taste fried? - No, it tasted like a shell. - Are you ready? - Oh, boy. How is there another one? - Now we need shrimp for noodle. Do we have to eat the noodle? I think it's gonna be the same. This is actually it's wetter though looking at it.

- Yeah, it's wetter and there's sort of like a Milky Way Galaxy of brown. - Shrimp's good. - Salty. - This is so bad.

- It's a salty dog. It's a salt, it's the rim of the margarita. It is the ocean. - It tastes like an accident.

It tastes like an meant to do like a teaspoon and they did a tablespoon. - They did a cup. - Do you want some curdled crab linguini? - It's probably not curdle, it might just be supposed to be that way. - There it goes, it moves as one. It moves as a singular unit. - Give it a whiff.

- Oh yeah, that smells like... - Fettuccine - Fettuccine at Disneyland. - Fettuccine all clamo. - It's fine. - But it's good. - It's not good.

- Again, it has that milk taste. - Yeah. - Like milk was added at the last minute and not cooked long enough to become something new. Very similar to the clam chowder, but not as bad as the bisque, and that right now? Bisque is my new...

Okay, that's as bad as it could be. You wanna try the bisque? Is the bisque still here? - No, you said it was sour. I don't think you should take two bites of something describe as sour. - Sometimes people make soup with sour cream and that will give you a sour taste, and that's okay. Chicken Linguini? - This one's immovable. - Well they're all immovable.

- No, no, no, actually will not move. There goes, there goes, sliding as one. It's beautiful. - Ooh. - It's like a perfect... - It's like a ship.

It's like what a ship comes into the land too fast. Just goes right over the land. - Yeah. - Chicken Linguini.

My elbow failed me. - That's spooky, can't taste Cajuny. Like they wanted it to be Cajuny. Did they make Cajun Chicken? - You said that. - These are Tyson chicken bites.

I know because I used to eat them. My dad would make pasta like this with those chickens. Nah, fine. - This is the best thing Red Lobster has to offer.

It is the Shrimp Linguini. Well, we used to get these, they would give you a discount. - I want the audience right now. I want everyone to close their eyes, to beg you, I want you to stir it. - Sloppy. - It's so slammy.

Cheers. - Cheers. - Shrimp Linguini. - It's so good. It's what you want it to be. It's where dreams are made.

This is their like shining pony. This is on all the commercials. - Something at the end of it tastes like broccoli. - Try it again. - I don't know if I want to. - You ate the bisque twice.

- Ah, bisque was this. - No it's sour. - This is not noodles and shrimp, it's more from outer space. - These are... I'm honestly, always surprised at how well they cook like little frozen shrimps.

- Describe it to me, you walked in the door for work. What did you see? - In front of you, the host podium, to the right, all the little lobsters with their little hands. - Oh, shit the fish tank. - The fish tank.

And for one month, there was a smoking section. - Well, but it was carpeted. - Well, one month of you were in there. It wasn't like they... - Oh yeah. - It wasn't it a special... - This is June

is smoker month, come on in. Have a cigarette and your shrimp. And then July, that's enough of it. Fucking gross. I didn't like it, but it is better than these.

But I think this shrimp on its own was the best shrimp. - Huh? - This is the best- - But how about this shrimp? - Ah, ew. Slimy. - Salty.

Slimy, gooey. - What if you ate it together? - Yeah, I know, I can't. - Just try. - I can't. - You can do anything. - They were only halfway through.

- I believe in you. - Makes it taste more like bang, bang shrimp from Bonefish Grill. - You're very specific.

- I've eaten a lot of food. - Is it better? - Yeah. - I'm right, you're wrong. - You're not a rank queen. Show 'em your tattoo.

- I got tattoo. Look, those are my cats. - Meow-meow, those are my cats. - Well, those are our cats. - Our kitty cats, Alfred and Grandpa Berry. - And I got adorable little K on the back of my neck.

- You can't see. - But you can't see. But Keith did not force me to get it. - I did not ask for anything. - He's very nervous about that.

- Concerned that people might be 'cause you know, a cult leader would do something like that. And Keith Habersberger is known for loving himself and loving Le Keith. Very nice, it wouldn't put it past me. - Well, anyway, you guys watch, you can sit with us. Listen to us.

- Matt's there now too. - Matt's there. - It's a party in there. - Yeah, we gotta boy finally. It's a boy. (chuckles) - (chuckles) Okay.

Well thanks Becky, we'll see you next time. - Thanks. - Let's keep on chugging through this river and stop at the next port for some more seafood. When I was a young boy, my father... No, when I was a kid, I went on the big red boat. So it was like a Disney cruise except with like Bugs Bunny and stuff.

Anyway, I had a really good time. It was when the Macarena came out and I did the Macarena on the boat. And then I came back thinking that it was just a boat thing that I learned, but everyone had learned it all over the world all at once.

So last time I went on a cruise ship. (chuckles) Salmon. I already had salmon on the salad. Let's see if they can do it twice. Salmon's so nice, they gave it to me twice.

That's a big bite of salmon, Keith. Very good, taste like lunch salmon. It's not fancy, but you could've dressed it up maybe of something, you know? We had the glaze salmon earlier, it was too sweet.

So maybe they maybe, I don't know. Nashville Hot Salmon. I think that they're glazed for the Nashville Hot Salmon should work on the same. Oh, Hey. Speak of the devil, Salmon New Orleans.

Who makes a New Orleans? This is an okay way to prepare a salmon. If you're like a real restaurant. I don't know if it's okay to do this a real lobster, but I'm gonna eat it.

Salmon New Orleans. Woo. There's the flavor. That's dinner salmon, that's fucking dinner salmon right there. This has got the most seasoning of everything I've had so far today. Today's catch.

Oh, this is a today special. So this is the Tuesday special, ah Desiree? - [Desiree] I really don't know. - It's today. Today, it says today's catch.

Today's Tuesday. Let me know in the comments below if in your area, it's Tuesday. (chuckles) Okay, we can't it's watches day came out, it's not Tuesday. But it could be, by the time you get around to it. Look at this Rainbow Trout.

Look at it, wow. It looks good. Smells like a well seasoned grill. Smells good. Got a little bit of lemon. Little bland.

They're not bad. It needs to be brighter. I know the lemon could brighten it a bit and you might be like, Keith, what do you mean, brighter? Food isn't bright? Yeah it is.

It mean a acidic. It means something that makes you say, "That's a sassy." Sazz.

when something has Sazz. Bright, that's what I mean. I put lemon on, now let's see.

Better, but it lacks depth. That's what I'm looking for. It doesn't taste like it has any seasoning at all.

Walt's Favorite Shrimp. Who's Walt? Walt wasn't any of the guys that I read off at the beginning. Walt, maybe Disney? Walt Disney? Look at these shrimps, these don't look real. Let's try Walt's Favorite Shrimp.

Why not, who this Walt boy truly is. Whoa, it's cocktail sauce. It's like fried cocktail shrimp. That's pretty good. Pretty good. Walt, he's onto something.

Let tell you what, if I were you? I vote for Walt for President. Depending on who's other candidates are. Little boy, Keith come blow your horn because it's time for Keith's lunch.

When I was a child and he gave me ranch, Oh, how did they know? So good, as a kid, I used to go to chicken tenders. We'd go to Nashville to the mall. We'd drive an hour from car to someone of the surrounding Nashville area malls. But Hickory Hollow is the number one. (mumbles) Chicken dips.

Okay? Crunch, good. Flavor, pretty good. Dryness, super dry.

With the right amount of mashed potatoes, we can bring in the chicken back to life. Ugh. It's such a fight in my mouth every time, How it look? Is it normal? (chuckles) How's it look, does it look normal? Okay, let's go to the fish and chippies, fish and chips, fish and chips.

Gotta wake up, Keith. Wake up, Keith, you got this. You got this, look at this, whoa! (Keith singing melodies) Wipe out. Fried Fish and Chips.

This is a big piece of fish, Huh? Can I get an Amen? - [Crew] Amen. This is serious fish filet. And is good, the tartar sauce is a little too sweet in this instance, but fish wise, is good fish. Shrimp on a stick.

I took the shrimp off the stick. Shrimp on a stick and it's called Shrimp Skewers. Shrimp on a stick.

It taste like steak. Taste good. Shrimp sticks, shrimp sticks.

Hey, how come nobody's ever taken a bunch of shrimp? Ground it up, turn it into fish sticks. But they're shrimp. Hey, did you guys like when I was eating the shrimp sticks? What if I told you, there's another one. I think taco sauce is actually maybe secretly old shrimp sauce.

Really want us down the stick. It's got like sweet spices. So it balances the salt on this really well, but also has just a nice warmth. It's like being hugged. When was the last hug you had with one of your bros or your babes, or your gals, or whatever you call your friends. Get a hug if you feel safe, get a hug.

Hugs are nice. You know the say to hug your partner for like two minutes a day, probably just hugging any old person for two minutes is weird, but by a bit by about second number 90, you get used to it. Let's move on to the stick.

Oh, heck no. Let's move on to the crap. Wild-Caught Snow Crab Legs. Now why do they call 'em snow crabs? They're not living in the snow.

It is lightly cut up for me, but not fully. How many people you think are ordering this to go, none? Is there a hammer near by? Turns out no. This is how it is sometimes when you're at a hotel. Oh boy, that's heavy. It worked, thanks John.

Snow crab legs. Crabtastic. There's nothing special about it, other than it is expensive, you know? They didn't do anything to be like, make it their own.

Okay, we've had our surf and now it's time for our turf. And we're gonna start with the shitiest turf. We're gonna start with the sirloin, the seven ounce sirloin.

Why is it the shitiest? Because it's the cheapest quality cut that we have. Not that it itself is bad, it's just of the three it's the lower quality option, but a sirloin. Look at it, it's got a nice sear. Let's try the seven ounce sirloin. Okay, drastically under season.

No seasoning whatsoever. I taste char the grill, so if you like that sort of chard taste, that's good, but it's got no salt, no pepper, no nothing. Tastes like beef straight up just beef.

I think you could eat the little A1 or a little burger sauce. Let's do it, everybody. Burger sauce! Let me hear you say, "Burgers sauce." Hell, yeah.

I forgot how good that one is. 'Cause I've been eating the taco sauce a lot lately. All right, this is the Filet Mignon. The Filet Mignon, as my dad always jokingly called it.

Yeah, that's a medium rare. That's like between a medium and a medium rare. That's really nice. Good job to today's Tuesday lunch steak cook. It's kinda hard to cut through this for some reason.

I'm gonna blame the knife. (grunting) Filet Mignon, a high class cut. It's a decent Filet Mignon in terms of the quality, not overly seasoned, but it's not under season either.

I would be totally happy to get this at Red Lobster. I would be disappointed to get this at a real estate place, but at Red Lobster, I think they're crushing it. I'm gonna give it 20 stars. And now for the hungry boy of the family or the hungry, it doesn't have to be a boy.

It could be anyone really, but it's a big steak. The New York Strip Steak, characterized by having a long thick piece of fat on the side, being generally leaner than a rib eye, but fattier than a filet or a sirloin. That looks pretty nice, right? Not bad. The most seasoned, and it's a pretty good quality cut.

For a chain restaurant is totally fine. And this tastes like this steak from Outback to me, better than a lot of seafood. And this is to go and it's still good. So I actually imagine in the restaurant, these are delicious. I think these steaks are top notch, top notch. You might be thinking Keith, those are the classics, that's gotta be it.

No, there's something more. And I don't remember what it is, but the title card will tell us all right now. Signature Feasts. Thank goodness there's a feast ahead of us. I'm starving. To join me for feast time, is everybody's favorite daddy.

Jared Popkin! - Woo! The bitch is back and he's a lobster, baby. Go big or don't go, baby. - Woo. - Pop is home.

I look like I could be the badass plaque, the sign flipper outside. Guy, it's like, yeah. - I just want you to be, it's gone. I want you to be like, then do a whole commercial line where just an unenthused lobster is working at Red Lobster.

- Cool, that's kinda sad. - Yeah. - He's like killing his buddies. - Yeah.

- But he's a lobster. (laughing) - Let's have some real lobster. I recognize this. This is some guy's favorite shrimp. - Okay. (chuckles)

I know that guy, yeah. - Some Walt. - Walt we'll call him, Walt. - No, that's his name. Where do you wanna start? - Kinda wanna start with Walt's favorite. - Let's do it. - Yeah.

Okay, here we go. After you, my lady. - Not bad. - Not bad at all. - It kinda taste like catfish batter.

- Catfish batter? - The batter you put on catfish - Oh - sorta your meal breading. - In my mind, I immediately looks like a cat food. Like he was talking about his kinda cat food. - Like fish for cats. - Yeah. - That's cat steak. Catfish, cat chick.

Oh, I know this goo. - You know it? - This goo is the Langostin goo. - Wow. - It's it's like chowder made in lobster garbage.

- I didn't wait for you. It's not bad. - Yeah, but the more you eat it. - The worst it gets? You're like a drunk sailor. You're like a drunk little sailor on your little boat. Throwing nets out, catching different lobsters.

You're like, I'm tired of these lobsters. I've had 'em all. - When people live on boats, do they cook on the boat? And how do you cook on a boat and not burn the boat? That'd be a good challenge. Try guys boat cook.

- Scallop. - Scallop. It's a typical scallop, it's a little burnt. - A little bit burnt. - Kinda taste like ham. You know what? The other ones I have are wrapped in bacon.

- Bacon wraps. - Maybe they took the bacon off. - They unwrapped it? (chuckles) They unwrap these scallops. These wrapped scallops that are unwrapped.

- I went to Joe's Crab Shack. - Did you? Did you say it like that, like you were from the Midwest for a thousand years? - Joe's Crab Shack. - Joe's Crab Shack. - Bragging Joe's Crab Shack.

- We're gonna get some Joe's Crab Shack. - Well, every hour at Joe's Crab Shack you had to shake the shack, which meant you... - (chuckling) - Which meant you played love shack over the intercom system and all the servers and host, had to be goofy and dance around the restaurant, which you know, I fucking love. - I feel like you should contact the CIA, that sounds like literal torture, like waterboarding.

- It was fun, we had a good time. Is this lobster? No. - This is Garlic Linguini Alfredo. - We already had pasta. - Garlic Linguini Alfredo. - Well, at least it's still not sliding.

- Was it sliding before? - No, that's what I mean, it should, right? It should react to being handled like this. That's fucked, ah. - Garlic fettuccine time.

- So rich. The lobster tough. - It was pretty good. - Is it? - It was a little tough.

The pasta felt a little overcooked. Can you overcook a lobster? - Yeah. - They did. - It's too tough, it's overcooked.

- All right, we got another big one coming. - Bring it over. - A big baddy. - It's an Admiral's Feast. - A feast for an Admiral. Usually I don't really know what I'm looking at, and Keith gets it, you know? - Catfish, this is catfish. Nope, that's shrimp.

- You're all right, buddy? - I look like catfish. - I need you to be an Admiral, meow. (chuckles) - Catfish. - Yeah. - This is the first time I've encountered a clam strip today.

- These actually look fun. You okay? You ready to dive? - Why are clam- what kind of clams are this shape? - Anyone know what kind of clams these are? - I never stop to think about it. Let's try it. - You want any sauce? No, you're just going? - I gonna try it, it's a clam.

- It took a popcorn chicken almost. - Yeah. - You know? - It feels like I'm in Fort Lauderdale. - I'm from Fort Lauderdale. - As if why you like it? - It kinda gives me Fort Lauderdale vibes.

Yo, let me try one in here. All right? - It's a lot. - Oh, it's too low, it's too low, here.

- It's too low and it's too many. - It's too low. Yeah. Was it good? - Better than the other scallops? - Really? - Oh, those are pretty good. - Shrimps are back. - Shrimps are back.

- Still good. - Still good? - This shrimp feels softness like a spray. Bind it. - Urg, I don't like the way you said it.

I get what you mean. - It's hot. Let's have the shrimp, whatever this is. I assume it's fish. Let's rip it apart. It's fish.

- I don't want a big piece. (chuckles) - Just take a little piece. You don't have to bite the whole thing. - Okay. - Oh, that's different than before. - How so? - 'Cause it's a different fish.

I don't know what it is. Probably like something cheap, like Tilapia 'cause it's so small. - This is really deep fried.

This is really breaded. - It's really better, it tastes like butter. Help. - Oh my God. Oh my God. - Help, I'm too greasy. - Oh my God, I feel like I'm like, I feel like he's my little baby.

- Anyway that was the Admiral's Feast. And I think it was pretty good. - Actually, I really like the Admiral's Feast. I feel like an Admiral. Shout out to all admirals. - Hey, admirals.

- There's a shout out just for you. - You ever have Admiral Nelson's Rum? - Oh yes I have had it. - 'Cause remember it's like $2 cheaper. - $2 cheaper, that's not enough. (chuckles) - Well, you're in college, it makes a big difference. - Yeah, it makes a huge difference, that's dinner.

If you save $2 on every fifth that you're buying, you can buy another fifth. Grab another big bowl. - Oh yeah, let's go. What does this say? (chuckles) - This is the Harborside Lobster and Shrimp. - Oh, Harborside. - We're finally having full lobster.

I was always so confused at this style of serving, right? - Yeah, it's so confusing. - It's so bizarre. - Yeah. - How is it doing this? Why is it outta the shell like that? What's happening? It looks like a loaded baked potato. - I feel like any moment it's gonna like be alive, gonna go in. (chuckles) - Well, let's take a fork and just jab at it, I guess. - Is it supposed to do that to the fork? - It's fine, it's just normal.

You just grabbing yourself, having a jungle on. - Just grab it then. - Just grab a little jungle. - Just take it. - Boom. - (chuckles) I'm terrified. I don't wanna eat it now.

- You gotta eat it. - (grunts) (chuckles) Oh, God! - How do you like it? - It wasn't terrible. - It wasn't good. - It wasn't good.

- It's really tough. - But it wasn't terrible. - Really tough. - What? - What's in this cup, you think? - Shrimp. - The shrimp.

- Shrimp Scampi. Look at how much butter there is. Don't worry, there's more.

Woop, shrimp fell out. - Oh my God. - Let's try the butter shrimp. - What? It's so buttery, you made it way too much buttery. - It was in there, it was in there.

- Oh, that's a good point. - It was in there. Defending I removed the butter. - That's a good point. That's very... - I was like eating butter.

- This has been interesting. Has it all been this interesting? No? (chuckles) This is a ride. - I'm on ride. - Yeah. - You want some of the shrimp stick? - We're gonna have to, right? Yeah, okay.

That was keep saying I've had enough. (chuckles) - It doesn't taste like anything anymore. Food just doesn't... My brain is like, no.

But they're better than that. - They are better than that. - But then I got these little cherubs. What's left? - You have more coming? We have more coming? I feel like we're surrounded. - I've had a bowl of shrimp four times.

- Oh, you'll love this. - What's the suspense? - You're gonna love this. It's just a cup of sand.

- Cup of sand? - Yeah. - Oh, God. I know what this is. We had it. Except this time you pour it on the noodles.

- These noodles aren't moving either. - That's 'cause they need the butter. - That's garlic butter, Garlic Shrimp Scampi.

- Shrimp and Scampi. - Are you doing the noodles and the shrimp? Yeah, I kinda do it like, yeah. - Okay. - It's better with the noodles than it was by itself. - These noodles are better than the last noodles and the garlic with the shrimp is pretty good. - It's pretty good.

♪ Bar Harbor Lobster Bake ♪ - Ding! Whatever's left, throw it in Carl. - Who's Carl? - He works there. - Friends with Walt. - Yeah, this is like, we got a little bit left of everything, what do we do? Throw it in a bucket, Carl. Serve it as the Bar Harbor Lobster Bake. Did you know about the red tide? - What's the red tide? - I don't remember if it's a parasite or something else, but it's bad.

- This isn't the red tide right now? - No, typically it's just for harvesting. - These are not terrible. - Uh-uh. - These are actually quite good. - Mussels. - Yeah,

second mussel round. - They're kind of a sweet buttery taste. - They do, everything has a buttery taste. - Kinda white wine, yum, yum, yum. - Oh, this is good though. - Baked lobster.

- It's a little tough. - Little tough, neutral flavor. Well I guess we gotta eat this god damn shrimp again. Oh Hey, unfried Bay Scallops. That's a fun unfried Bay Scallop.

Better fried. - Yeah, it's better fried. (chuckles) - I got an idea, though. - What? Oh, you look like a cartoon character from the '50s. It's not allowed to be shown anymore.

- Yeah, I don't want anything else in there. - We have to eat the menu. - I guess have to try the shrimp. How much mercury you got to eat in a day.

- The planet. You know, in these moments you get to ask yourself, like what is pain? - Pain is temporary. Most of the time.

- Yeah? - Well it won't last forever, I think. I believe in you. - We believe in you. We believe in you, lobster man, Keith. - Pop is out.

- Okay, Popster the Lobster. Bye Jared. - Bye guys. - Let's move on to the next portion of the video, which is two more bags of food.

Bing, bing, bing, bing. Special interruption of Eat the Menu. Try Guys have a Patreon on

And we have a entree submitted by one of our Patreon's, our Patrentree, if you will. And this one is from Kayla? Thank you so much, Kayla. Kayla wanted me to try something she does, which I appreciate because this is a thing you people do in chain restaurants. I do stuff like this as well.

So she normally has a crab rangoon stuffed shrimp, the mushrooms with crab and they pushed it into this, we're talking about biscuit. We thought we had some of the crab rangoon shrimp left over but I ate them all, they were too delicious. So I'm just gonna have it without that. But I'm gonna remember that flavor and I'm gonna add it in, no problem. Kayla's Patrentree.

Let's give it a taste. I wish eaten it earlier 'cause everything was pretty revolting to me right now. That said, not bad. And I think that part of America's beauty is the ability to create your own chaos.

This is chaos, but actually it's kinda good. Thank you, Kayla. I love you. If you want submit your things put 'em in my mouth.

Go to and I'll do it. Kids Menu. You've been doing a lot of shopping for new pairs of jeans at Kohls. And now it's time for Red Lobster, but what are they going to eat? Well, I'll show you what they can eat. They gonna have the Garlic-Grilled Shrimp again. I don't know if I've had garlic-grilled shrimp.

I feel like have a garlic saute shrimp. This is a garlic-grilled shrimp for babies. Good grill flavor, feels like there's lemon on it. Salt, pepper, yum, yum, yum.

Very good. Children are gonna think that's good. Oh, I haven't seen this fish before. This looks a lot like the Admiral fish. Baby kid fish, fish for kids, kid fish, kiss kids fish. What's not to love.

I like this fish. I think they're just fried fish across the board has been good. I actually like that and taste good salty. Chicken Tenders, for children.

Hey, we've been get- I haven't talked about it, but they have these big ass ketchup packets there. And since its for kids, put some ketchup on this chickens 'cause that's how children eat chicken. As good as less dry than before. (mumbles) It hurts my tongue. That time I know it's the ketchup 'cause ketchup has salt and vinegar in it. My little tongue.

My baby tongue. Mac and Cheese? Why is it just for babies? It must be Kraft. And this happened at the other place too, Chili's. Mac and Cheese from Kraft box.

I got an idea. (whistling) I can breathe through that. You'll hyperventilate. There's not enough oxygen, it's bad. It's good if you're a child at a home and your parents left you with a babysitter. Oh God, okay.

We're so close, this is new. Guys is new Popcorn Shrimp. Look, it's new. It looks terrible.

Shrimp for babies. - Oh. (chuckles) - Remember that other shrimp that I said tasted like a paste or something? It didn't, this one does. I don't know if that was just one. Oh that, see that? That was shrimp. Remember that idea I had about grinding up shrimp and making shrimp sticks? It was a bad idea.

Don't worry, we're almost there. The petite lobster babies. Maine Lobster Tails.

It smell like spray paint. Nick, come over here. Forget what I said and I want you to smell this.

- That's spray paint. - It's spray paint. - That's spray paint. - It's spray paint. - Ugh.

- Anyone else wanna give it a whiff? Anybody wanna remember what spray paint huffing is like, Jonathan? - Jesus Christ. - How did they do this? - Oh God. - Oh, I can't eat this one. No, that's a toxin, It's too obviously, a toxin. I do think maybe they cooked this, they set it down.

Another person came through and they just covered it in epoxy. And this is the children's menu lobster. Well that was the kid's menu. I think the fried fish was still okay.

But thank God we did it. I can feel the food that I've been swallowing in my chest. And the only thing that's left is to have a little bit of dessert.

Sweeten up the night with whatever confusing concoction they have. It's the for dessert. We don't have the key lime pie.

I know, I know they don't sell it anymore. I wish they had it, but we do have some fun stuff. We got a Vanilla Bean Cheesecake.

Whoa, mama. We got roughly a pound and a half of cheesecake. It feels like ice cream, it's freezing cold. The Vanilla Bean Cheesecake looks good, though. I like cheesecake as much as the next guy. Boring.

It taste kinda like a cheesecake milkshake, but cold. The crust sucks. It's too granulated. What, can I even damage it? I'll get ice cream from ice cream one. I want cheesecake.

It's too cold. It kinda taste like what I think Ned tried to do in our without a recipe cheesecake and if he had been successful still would've been bad. Turns out, he tried to make an ice cream cheesecake using ice cream as the milk, basically. It didn't work. It was a good idea, we all thought.

It turns out it was a bad idea 'cause it's not good. It just doesn

2022-03-30 10:10

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