Epithet Switched | EP1 - Racket in the Museum!!
[NARRATOR] INT. SWEET JAZZ MUSEUM - NIGHT We’re inside Sweet Jazz Museum after-hours. Nobody remains. It’s dark. And quiet. ...Until a BASEBALL SHATTERS A WINDOW. (crime sounds) Following the sound is a young boy with a baseball backpack and brown hoodie: Giovanni Potage. [GIOVANNI] ...Hello? [NARRATOR] No response. [GIOVANNI] Hellooooooo? [NARRATOR] Still no response. His face breaks into a smile.
[GIOVANNI] Yeah! Take that, Mom. Nobody’s even here. “Security guards” my foot! [NARRATOR] He starts wandering the halls of the museum. [GIOVANNI] Ain’t nobody gonna catch GIOVANNI POTAGE! Kinda wish someone coulda seen me enter, though... I mean, I broke the glass and everything! Just like a real bad guy! [NARRATOR] He wanders into the main lobby.
[GIOVANNI] Now, where’d I leave that sword, again...? I’ll bet it’d be the perfect weapon for a supervillain >:D!! [NARRATOR] He keeps walking, totally lost in thought. He doesn’t even notice that he isn’t alone until he suddenly bumps into Molly Blyndeff. [MOLLY] AAH! [GIOVANNI] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! [NARRATOR] Instinctively, Molly KICKS Giovanni, sending him flying across the room and SLAMMING against the wall. ...So much for not being seen. [TITLE THEME PLAYS] [GIOVANNI] Episode 1: Racket in the Museum >:D! [NARRATOR] Flashback. Earlier that day:
[GIOMOMMY] ...so THEN I tolds her, I tolds her, Linda! You can’t just take my stuff without asking! Maybe I NEEDED those anti-lint rollers! (inaudible phone conversation just imagine it okay) ...What? (more inaudible phone noises) Of course not! But I COULD’VE needed them! [NARRATOR] Giomommy— a portly woman with a cigarette in one hand and a phone in the other— gossips eagerly. On the other side of her, Giovanni and his classmates stand around, whispering. [GIOVANNI] She’s distracted. C’mon, this part of the museum’s boring! [NARRATOR] Fred, a curly-haired boy about Giovanni’s age, stammers nervously.
[FRED] B-but, Gio! The teacher said to wait for the t-tour guide! [GIOVANNI] We’re NEVER gonna be good bad guys if you think like THAT [NARRATOR] Another classmate with short orange hair pipes up: [BEN] Wait, good bad guys? So... is that good or bad? [GIOVANNI] It’s good! I mean... bad! REALLY bad! [NARRATOR] A girl with ear piercings adds— [SPIKE] So... we SHOULDN’T sneak off :/? [GIOVANNI] No! We WANT to be bad, Spike! Gosh! ( ･｀O ´･) [GIOMOMMY] GIOVAaNNIIII! [NARRATOR] Giovanni winces as his mother’s attention is turned to him. [GIOMOMMY] YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS BETTER NOT BE TALKING ABOUT SNEAKING OFF AGAIN! [GIOVANNI] We’re not, Moommm >:c [GIOMOMMY] GOOD! [NARRATOR] She goes back to her phone.
(ominous footsteps) [GIOVANNI] Let’s get out quick, before— [INDUS] SORRY, CHILDREN. [FRED] AH [BEN] HOLY- [NARRATOR] Too late. The classmates YELP in fear as a large, muscular, intimidating man STOMPS into the room, his face apparently angry. This is Indus Tarbella.
[INDUS] I UNDERSTAND WE HAVE LITTLE TIME. LET US BE ON WITH THE TOUR. [NARRATOR] The children shuffle nervously. Nobody wants to try running off while this guy is around.
Giovanni realizes this and groans in displeasure. [GIOVANNI] >:c [GIOMOMMY] Oh, good, you’re the tour guide. Don’t worry, I’ll keep my eye on the gremlins. (more phone noises I couldn't find an sfx for) REALLY? He used HOW many coupons????? [NARRATOR] Indus glares down the children.
They all stay obediently attentive, except for Giovanni, who rolls his eyes. INDUS EPITHETS. Rare powers. Some people are born with them... others are not.
Do any of you know what someone is called who does NOT have an epithet? [CLASSMATES] A mundie... [INDUS] And those who DO? [CLASSMATES] Inscribed... INDUS Correct.
[NARRATOR] Indus turns his glare away and starts marching down the hall. The children follow. [INDUS] Each inscribed person is born with a word attached to their very soul, which bestows upon them, very unique powers. [NARRATOR] Suddenly, he whirls around again.
[INDUS] Who here is one of those few? [GIOMOMMY] Ooh! Giovanni here’s inscribed! [GIOVANNI] MOM ( ･`⌓´･)!! That’s top-secret bad guy info, I TOLD you! [BEN] But you told us (・-・?) [SPIKE] Shut up, Ben. INDUS Small child what is YOUR Epithet? GIOVANNI I’m not telling YOU >:c [GIOMOMMY] Oh, it’s Soup! Giovanni, what have I told you about respecting your elders?! [INDUS] Soup... [NARRATOR] His harsh, thoughtful gaze falls on Giovanni.
Giovanni puffs up his chest and tries to stare at him back. After a long, intense moment— [INDUS] ...Very well. Are there any others who are inscribed? [NARRATOR] From a distance away— [MERA] OH! Oh, Sir Indus! I can tell them my Epithet :D! [INDUS] No— Mera, that’s not— [NARRATOR] Mera Salamin, a very small woman with blue hair tied back into a ponytail and martial arts tape wrapped around her hands and lower legs, runs up to the group while carrying a large wooden box. MERA I’ll help :D! My Epithet is very entertaining to annoying kids! [INDUS] Mera— [GIOVANNI] Oh yeah? What IS your Epithet? [MERA] My Epithet— [NARRATOR] She sucks in a deep breath, then SMASHES the box between her bare hands, releasing all the contents inside. [MERA] —is FRAGILE! [NARRATOR] The kids are silent in shock for a moment. Then— [FRED] Did.
Did you just break a bone? [MERA] It’s probably just a small fracture! I’m used to it. [BEN] Hey, look, guys! Free treasure! LET’S GET IT! [NARRATOR] His rallying cry breaks the others out of their stupor! [CLASSMATES] YAAAAAAAAH! [NARRATOR] The children dog-pile onto the spilled contents of the box. [GIOVANNI] Aw, YEAH! [NARRATOR] Giovanni goes for the treasure, too— but his mother grabs him by his hoodie and holds him aloft. She still holds her phone in the other hand. [GIOMOMMY] Yeahh not you. [GIOVANNI] Bu— MOoOMM ( ･`⌓´･)!! [GIOMOMMY] You know how I feel about you in DANGEROUS situations.
[NARRATOR] Giovanni kicks his legs, trying to escape. [GIOVANNI] But I WANNA be a CRIMINAL! How’m I supposed to be a good bad guy if you never let me DO anything, MOM? [GIOMOMMY] Well, your dreams will just have to wait. (more mysterious unheard phone noises) Sorry, what were you saying? [NARRATOR] Giovanni continues to struggle in vain. [GIOVANNI] UGHHHHG! You’re no fun D:<! [INDUS] ...CHILDREN. [NARRATOR] The classmates, being reminded of Indus’s presence, pause temporarily in fear.
[NEIL] We outnumber you, you big... uhh... fatty! [SPIKE] YEAH! [NARRATOR] ...aaannd then go back to SCREAMING. [INDUS] Hm. They do not seem interested in the tour. [MERA] A! I-I’m sorry, Sir Indus! I... uhh HEY, BRATS.
[NEIL] What’d you call us? [MERA] Do yooooouuuu wanna hear a stooooryy? [BEN] Stories are lame! [FRED] I like stories... [MERA] Well this story is about MAAA-GIC~! [NARRATOR] THAT gets their attention. [NEIL] Ooh! Like ghosts? [COLE] Or the power of love? [INDUS] Wait Mera. It isn’t necessary to— [MERA] It’s fine, I got this! The story is about a MAGIC NECKLACE called the Arsene Amulet.
[ NDUS] Mera— [MERA] And I hear it has the power to STEAL a person’s Epithet! [NARRATOR] She snatches up a pot from the floor to prove her point— and it promptly SHATTERS in her hands. A shard cuts her hand and she SQUEALS in pain. Indus facepalms. [INDUS] Mera. That exhibit is not PUBLIC yet. [MERA] a S-Sorry, Sir Indus...
[NARRATOR] Indus sighs, seemingly frustrated. [INDUS] I’LL stick to giving tours. YOU stick to moving boxes. [MERA] Yes, Sir Indus! [NARRATOR] She picks up another box, and starts running off with it.
She doesn’t get more than a few steps before it spontaneously breaks apart and spills its contents, as well. [BEN] MORE TREASURE! [CLASSMATES] YEAAAAAAAAH! [NARRATOR] The free-for-all resumes. Indus sighs without much emotion. [MERA] HEY! GOBLINS! Leave the artefacts ALONE! or... I'll... uh... ( ゜- ゜) BREAK MORE BOXES ( ･`⌓´･) [NARRATOR] She dives into the pile, trying to stop the chaos and immediately BREAKING something in the process.
[INDUS] Mera, don’t— Hhhhgh. Is it not YOUR duty to assist in these occurrences? [GIOMOMMY] A yeah yeah, I got it- MY boy’s right here! [GIOVANNI] Sigh. [INDUS] Mera, remove yourself at once. [MERA] No, no, I got it— (shriek of pain) OW! NO BITING! (more phone noises amongst crime noises) [GIOMOMMY] Yeah? NOOOOO! He did WHAT? [GIOVANNI] Mom— [GIOMOMMY] Not- not right now, sweetie. [NEIL] STAY DOWN, WEIRD LADY! [MERA] Argh! YOU stay down! [INDUS] Mera, remove yourself! I shall take care of them. [GIOVANNI] Let...
[BEN] Hey, check out this cool sword! I bet it’s super cursed! [GIOVANNI] Me... [SPIKE] Forget the sword, check out this mask! [GIOVANNI] GO!!!!! [NARRATOR] With a sudden BURST OF STEAM at his feet, Giovanni ROCKETS out of his mother’s grasp, landing in a cool action pose on the floor. A suave, classical bad-guy theme begins to play >:D [GIOMOMMY] GIOVANNI! What have I told you about running off like that? [GIOVANNI] You can’t pin me down! I’m a BAD GUY! I DO WHAT I WANT! [NARRATOR] With a BATTLE CRY, he starts running off, his steamy, soupy aura blasting behind him and giving him a burst of speed! [GIOMOMMY] GIIIOVA-NNIIII! [NARRATOR] She HACKS and COUGHS, trying to fan away the soupy fog with her hand as she stumbles through it. [GIOVANNI] Ben! Toss me that sword! [NARRATOR] Ben grins and throws the “cursed sword” his way. Giovanni catches it as he runs off, into the...
INT. AQUARIUM EXHIBIT - DAY [GIOVANNI] FREEDOM! [NARRATOR] ...but he is suddenly tripped up by a small tower on the floor, causing him to fall and drop the sword, which clatters across the room. From the floor, he looks up to see a blonde teen: Percival King.
She looks down in concern. [PERCY] Oh, dear! [NARRATOR] She extends a hand while the tower BUZZES with static electricity, as if it’s been turned on. [PERCY] I’m terribly sorry. Are you—
[GIOVANNI] I don’t need your help! [NARRATOR] He SLAPS away her hand and gets to his feet. PERCY Well! Do you pick a fight with everyone you meet? [GIOVANNI] Yeah! ‘Cuz I’m— [GIOMOMMY] GIOVANNI! [NARRATOR] Giovanni readies to bolt, but Percy grabs him by the hood. [PERCY] Your son, Ma’am? [NARRATOR] She hands him over. [GIOMOMMY] You. Are. GROUNDED. [GIOVANNI] Wait!! At least let me get my swooooord ( ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) [NARRATOR] He’s dragged off whimpering.
[MERA] Epithet Switched!! ow... [GIOVANNI] Epithet Switched!!! [INDUS] (via intercom) ATTENTION. The museum will be closing in five minutes. Make your way to the exits.
NOW. [CLASSMATES] (sounds of sweet freedom) [BEN] Hehe, dude, look. I totally nabbed this cool mask from Spike.
[NEIL] Maybe it’ll hide your dumb face! [BEN] Heeyyy! [NARRATOR] Giomommy walks by, still holding Giovanni by his hood. [NEIL] Hey, Gio, you coming over to play ball today? Andrew ‘n Spike are! [GIOMOMMY] He’s GROUNDED! [GIOVANNI] Hmph >:c [NARRATOR] They leave. [INDUS] (via intercom) The museum is now closed. If you are still in the museum...
GET OUT. (static noises) [NARRATOR] Time-lapse of the security camera footage. Mera runs about moving ropes and boxes while Indus stays in the center.
Then they both retreat out of the room to the back of the museum before Molly and her Banzai Blasters enter, followed soon afterward by Giovanni, who is kicked by Molly into the wall. We’re back to: [MOLLY] Oh! Ohhh my goodness, I’m so sorry! [NARRATOR] She runs across the room and offers a hand to Giovanni. [MOLLY] What’s a kid like you doing— (gross spitting sound) [NARRATOR] Giovanni SPITS in her hand. His spit is red and hot. [MOLLY] What the— EW Hey, what is thAt??? [NARRATOR] She waves it off.
He sticks out his tongue, getting up. [GIOVANNI] How’d you like the taste of my Epithet, Lady?! [NARRATOR] Molly sniffs her hand ...then cautiously licks it. [MOLLY] ...It tastes pretty good, actually. Is this tomato basil? [GIOVANNI] Yeah! And I seasoned it my— I M EAN- NO! It's... LAVA or.. ACID!! LAV-ACID.
YEah [MOLLY] It tastes like Soup. ...is your Epithet Soup? [NARRATOR] Giovanni STAMPS his foot on the floor. GIOVANNI THAT'S TOP SECRETTT ( ･`⌓´･)! [NARRATOR] From the back, one of Molly’s Blasters pipes up: [URCHIN] Hey, Boss. I thought you said nobody else would be here. What gives?
[MOLLY] I wasn’t exactly anticipating a KID showing up. Why ARE you here? ...We had the perfect stealthy entrance and everything. GIOVANNI I broke in! ‘Cuz I’m a BAD GUY >:D!! [NARRATOR] Molly kind of smirks and raises an eyebrow. [MOLLY] Oh, is that so? Well, sorry, kid, but so are we. The ✨ BANZAI BLASTERS ✨ don’t have time to mess around. Poses, girls~! [NARRATOR] They dive into an obviously rehearsed, movie-poster-like action pose. It’s pretty impressive.
Giovanni’s eyes light up in recognition!! [GIOVANNI] YOU'RE THE BANZAI BLASTERS???!?!?!? [MOLLY] In the flesh. [GIOVANNI] You guys are, like, the BADDEST BAD GUYS around!!!! you HAVE to let me join you!!!!! [NARRATOR] Molly exchanges snickering glances with her minions. [MOLLY] Sorry, kid. This is my first mission as a Banzai Captain, and I can’t risk letting some little CUB ruin it. [GIOVANNI] But I’ve got powers! Really COOL powers! MOLLY Oh, yeah? Lemme show you something, kid.
(heh) Lemme show you something, kid. Summon some of that “lav-acid” again. Try and hit me. [GIOVANNI] Uh...
Okay! [NARRATOR] A small ball of roiling red liquid forms in the air. He chucks it at her face—! but Molly raises her hand and it instantly grows smaller and smaller, until only a drop hits her nose. (a drop hitting her nose sound effect) [URCHIN] Heh! Pretty impressive, right? [SKULLKID] Yeah! Boss is the best! [NARRATOR] Giovanni shrugs and looks away, trying to act unamused. [GIOVANNI] Eh. It’s dumb. (SHOCKED GASPS) [LAMBCHOP] How did he know ( ・◇・)?! [GLASSES] W-w-w-witchcraft! [NARRATOR] Molly slaps her forehead in frustration. She tries to grin.
[MOLLY] Girls— (egg timer sound effect as gio figures figures it out) [GIOVANNI] wait. is it actually DUMB??? THAT'S your epithet????? DUMB????? [NARRATOR] Molly’s grin freezes in place, turned to stone. [GIOVANNI] HAH WOW And I thought people wouldn’t take “Soup” seriously! [MOLLY] You dare undermine the Banzai Blasters? What kind of a hotshot do you think you are? [GIOVANNI] uhh.. a REALLY HOT one ✧◝( ･`∇´･) ◜✧ [NARRATOR] He tries striking a pose of his own.
[GIOVANNI] See? Now you HAVE to let me join you!!! [STINK] Hah! Fat chance, kid. [URCHIN] You’re nowhere near our level. [GIOVANNI] But—! [MOLLY] Sorry, but they’re right. It’s way too dangerous for a cub like you to be wandering around during a robbery.
(Whispering) Teleports behind you. [GIOVANNI] AH [NARRATOR] She grabs him by his baseball backpack and holds him aloft— like a turtle being grabbed by its shell! [GIOVANNI] Well, this is new :/ [NARRATOR] He tries getting out of it by punching AND kicking, since all his limbs are free, but still to no avail. [MOLLY] You’re lucky I don’t hurt cubs. Girls? Handcuffs, please. [GIOVANNI] WHAT ( ･`Ｏ´･)?! [NARRATOR] Glassesnervously runs up and hands her a pair of LEGITIMATE POLICE HANDCUFFS. She slaps one on Giovanni’s wrist and the other to the leg of the nearby receptionist’s desk.
[MOLLY] That should keep you out of trouble! [GIOVANNI] HOW’D YOU GET LEGITIMATE POLICE HANDCUFFS? [MOLLY] Stole them? Obviously. Come on, girls. [NARRATOR] They all start walking away. [MOLLY] Actually... hold up. Should probably make sure this guy doesn’t have any little friends coming after him.