Dating a Japanese guy (the good and bad/my experiences)
Honest, thinking, on a foggy night on this what's. Up guys and bubblegum. Gang that's, right if you subscribe, to me you weren't a part of the bubblegum gang whether you like it or not. And. For those of you who aren't subscribed and would like to be part of the bubblegum gang go ahead and smash. That subscribe button. Wow, such, a youtuber, now but, yeah make sure you get subscribed even, though you haven't seen the video I promise you'll like it okay don't promise but. Anyway. Yeah. Just. Try it out and awesome to my subscribers, if you hit the bell button you'll, see my videos when I upload them, so that's, cool if you like my videos. If. This is your first time here you probably don't know I lived in Japan for four years I speak. Japanese kind. Of and. A, lot of people ask me in the comments, have, you ever dated a Japanese, guy would you date a Japanese, guy blah-blah-blah-blah-blah. Hey. That'd be cool beat. Me. I guess but. Yeah I get a lot of people asking, if I've dated a Japanese guy or if I would or, what's, my type like, that and I. Have. Dated. A Japanese guy once. Seriously. Dated one I kind. Of dated this one guy but I don't really count it as a relationship because we couldn't even speak each other's language, at all that, don't count so. My. First and only real relationship, with the Japanese male, specimen. Lasted. Around one year and, today. I kind of want to talk about the differences, between. Japanese. Guys and foreign guys and like I don't know the issues that I had with dating a Japanese guys opposed, to like the issues I have dating an American guy. But. Yeah I think a lot of people watching my channel are probably interested in moving to Japan or, living in to wait, that's the same thing to be honest I feel, like there's this weird. Fetishization. Is that word Finnish ization. Of. The, country, and like the men too. It's, the same way for females, of course but, I think there's a lot of girls that are like oh my god I just want to date a Japanese, boy you're a Korean boy well I can't speak on any other culture I can tell you the downfalls, of Jay dating, Jay.
Dating, I can. Tell you the downfalls, of dating a Japanese man, and, that's, what I'm gonna talk about today so let's. Get. To. It. Okay. So the first thing I hated about dating a Japanese guy and I, think this is probably one of the biggest problems, was. We could never figure out if an issue was. An us issue or if it was like a culture, issue so like I don't know you know men, women different. Obviously, gonna have conflicting, opinions, about certain subjects, and at. The end of every argument it kind of come down to okay, well I'll drop you at your door, so we, just have a different opinion on this topic it's. Kind of hard to tell if it actually is like that or if I don't, know if you guys just if you don't mesh. In that, area, for, example my, ex thought, that, marijuana. Was on the same level as meth. Amphetamine. I, did. Not have the same opinion, on the subject and I'm sure there are a lot of Japanese people that. Don't put them in the same category but he was kind of like okay well I'm Japanese this in my opinion this is what they teach us this is how we think cuz I'm Japanese and I'm like okay but very, plain. Not. True. So. Get your facts right so. Yeah and then you had the thing like he, would go to work and I was a young 19 year old that was really needy, and I would want him to text me all the time which is crazy because I'm like the opposite now but, at the time like I was just like oh good. I. Know. What. Head he texts me that cool oh he. Just texted me saying I love you. So. Yeah depending on the person, they could be really. Cold when. They're at work and really concentrated. On work which i think is kind of like a Japanese stereotype. So I, don't know if that's like all Japanese, people or if that was just my boyfriend at the time but. When he would be at work it was like he was in his own little world and we, wouldn't communicate that, much and. I wanted him to communicate with me I wanted him to come over after. Work and that was like kind of an issue I mean, now when I think about it I was, like way too clingy. But, at, the same time like there could have been balanced, there and I think it was like we were way too different, in that area and I don't still to this day like I don't know if that's cuz he's Japanese and, I'm American, or if. That was just his personality, so there, is a lot of like should. I accept, this because it's part of the culture and this, is how he grew up or do, we have to work on it and find a balance because I. Don't. Know this is not a culture, thing this is just personalities. That we have to like figure out. So. Yeah, that, was like a big thing a really big thing and I hated, that was like the, biggest, pet peeve of mine when, that was the end of the discussion, well I'm Japanese and this is how we think so sorry you're not gonna change my mind boom bang like, that happened. A lot and I, feel like I feel. Like that could be common I don't know might have just been my experience couldn't. Happen I don't know if. I was dating a Japanese person, now I'd be like uh-uh no we're figuring this out I don't care cuz. I'm American. I, don't. Know so maybe it wouldn't work out I don't know what you know but, yeah that was that was an issue one. Thing I noticed about Japanese, guys like, my Japanese boyfriend and just like Japanese men in general is they. Tend to like pay for meals and, like pay for dates a lot more than the, American guy that I dated. Of. Course at the end of the relationship we, kind of split things up but also I was in a different position like, I was just working a part-time job he was working full-time but. He did like tend to take care of the meals and stuff more which adds up to a lot when you're hungry like, me I. Think. That's like really common for Japanese, guys to like. For. Heutagogy, so, go to somewhere out. With. Someone else know if it's not gonna and, let me get my answer on to number three. Always. Always. It's, not a coffee unless you spill it on yourself. Okay. This is like me, off so much but. It wasn't his fault it wasn't my fault. It, was nobody's, fault but we could not watch certain television, shows together because.
Like Some shows an. Intervention. Do, you. Do. Shameless. Barris. The Wiener act like they don't have Japanese, subtitles for those types of shows and, then it's like hard to understand, what's going on if you do not speak the language so he could speak English, like, he, could probably work in English like he could have everyday conversation. But I think like watching TV and stuff was kind of hard for him to hear so, that was annoying, I remember wanting to watch shameless, and like, binge watches I. Remember. Wanting to watch shameless, with him because. You know I kind of missed that trashy. Midwestern. Life. But. He could not really, understand. Shit like we would put on the English subtitles, because I think that would help him a little bit but, he still he'd be like I don't really know what's going on and it's. Like dude come on like and then, I remember once he tried to put on cycle, pass like, the anime on Netflix. And it didn't have English subtitles and, I was like. Bro. Is, even. Japanese, cuz I don't, understand. The word jeans it's them I don't know how to save in, nuclear. Something, or another. Artificial. Intelligent. Of. Thingamajig. In English. So, how am, I supposed to know that's what that means in Japanese so, that's something else you gotta think about like it's cool to have somebody to binge watch TV, shows with but if they. Don't really know what's going on or you don't really know what's going on because of a language barrier that, shit sucks, oh. My. God why, is life, so I, don't want to go on, because. Every, time I finish a thing something, is gonna happen, okay, so this one's kind of like intertwine, with the last one did but, the fifth. Wait. The. Fifth one it's about the language barrier, there's some times where actually it really sucks and you, wish they could speak the same language. Fluently. Or. Like. If like. In English there are certain times where, you say something with, a certain type of emotion, and it means something completely different. The. Same thing with Japanese, in Japan a lot of times they don't tell you straight. Up no they'll, just be like mmm. That's a little mmm and you're like kind of expected. To, not push it like you're expected, to be like a whole calendar I understand I understand right okay, nevermind we don't have to do that. That. Shit. For. Me it was like okay by the time we're in a relationship, why. Do you why do we still have to do this like guessing, game thing.
What's. My boyfriend's. Actual, opinion, on the subject. The. Answer is you. Want to do it you, want to do it no. I don't really want to do that what. Me. As an American I'm like okay our art we passed that but I think is like still just like a part of the culture and that comes to another point, fucking already, okay. That's boo pissed me off because when, you're arguing with someone and you, want to yell at them they. Should go back like, I do, and. He'd just like stand there and. I was like okay well now I just feel like Satan. Come. On yellow bag like aren't, you mad I'm, mad man. And again I don't know if that was just his personality. But, I guess it was kind of good because it kind of diffused, the situation but. There, are other times where I'd be like saying something like. And. He'd be like. And. He, tried to say something back in Japanese, and I'd be like listen so, it makes it really complicated. Like because you know when you're in the moment and you're just like man you're, like. What. You just said and it just hits different, just. Hits different, feels. A lot better whenever, they like can, talk back to you, you're fucking gasps ITT, what what are you talking, about we don't we don't have gas lights, you know that's, not what I it's electric. No. That's not really right balls you don't want. What. Are you saying, so. Yeah arguing was really, difficult I'd. Totally forgot about that until now I'm getting like war flashbacks that's, so, annoying, okay number six I think, this is because he was a little bit older and like, very Japanese, and very traditional but. There was a time when he told me like Japanese, people are really strict about qualifications. And you. Need to go to college you need to get a degree you. Should probably go watch I. Literally. I was like looking online to see which college. I wanted to go to I. Was. Like so young I was like 20. I wanted. To do YouTube I want to do like I wanted to do creative I was in a vex I was taking dance and singing lessons and I don't know like still like I don't feel like I need to spend a bunch of money on college loans I don't feel like for me that's the life that I wanted to live and he, kind of like was really pushing, that on me like no you need to go to college you need to do this and this and this and that's extremely important, to have qualifications, you need to be qualified you need to get a job I still, consider YouTube, and stuff a job but it's just like an. Unconventional. Job, it's like doing what I want to do and. Again. Could be his personality. But I think in Japan like there's a really it's. Really strict about like getting, a job by a certain age and, everybody adheres, to a certain type of standard, and I. Just you. Would think I want to be in you, you know who I turn, into I turn into that, raccoon. From, that one anime, and I'd, end up alone in some karaoke, room singing. Japanese scream, oh and. Nobody fucking wants that one, good thing that did come out of that though is he kind of forced me to get the, qualified. For the jlpt, like, the japanese language proficiency test and so I do have my qualification. For that and I'm like. So. I'm kind of glad I listened to him with that seven seven eight I don't remember one, of them the, next one so, funny, thing is you ask people. How. Do you learn Japanese and they'll be like, deta, japanese person. But. The, thing is he. Tried to make it easier, on me so instead, of saying okay, pseudo is like to do something so if you put a noun in front of pseudo it's doing, that thing that was your Japanese lesson for today that's all you're getting go, home take the jlpt live. Happy oh. Yes. Instead of saying clinical. He won't know that he'd. Be like it. Clinical, field building positive so. He'd like use not Japanese, words he'd use like English, words to, make it easier on me but it's, like okay, dude you're not helping me learn the language, now I'm just learning like a distorted, form of English like, a half Japanese, English, weirdo. Mix like, what am I do, that thing I can't even get a job at McDonald's they, use okay go I'd, be fired in, two weeks, two-a-days two minutes, probably. So. Yeah he had good intentions he, was trying to make it easier, I appreciate. Him but at the same time. Okay. Number nine, Japanese, people tend to be a lot more, reserved. And embarrassed. Very shy so unless you go out and date somebody who's dressed all crazy and, like is in, that world they're, probably not gonna understand, you as much like if you dress like this so. We had a big problem because. He. Was kind of embarrassed, about the way I dressed but I don't think it makes him a bad person I just don't think that we meshed. I think, that. He. Should have probably went with a girl that dresses like normal. And. I should have not.
Dated Anyone but. Yeah, he was really he was kind of embarrassed, specially. Especially. The way I just when we first met because, I'm embarrassed about the way I dressed when we first met if, you want to see it I have a video about my old fashioned in Japan we'll put a link to it but, yeah he was really embarrassed which kind of confuses, me because it's like when, you first met me I was already dressed like this so. You. Didn't think this would be a problem, did you think this was a foodie koster. Like. Bro. I swear the. First time we met. Man. And I know now, like knowing him he was not trying to be rude but it was so fucking, rude I walked, up to him I was like hey and he goes I. Should. Have been the moment then I knew oh my god this guy is not ready he's not. So. Yeah he didn't know was how I dressed, and that was a huge, problem during the relationship because. That's. A huge problem now like I cannot, not. Dress this way. So. That really sucked, but I. Guess. He got over it. Okay. So the last thing and I guess this makes this 10 things unless, I'm off which I probably am because that. Happens a lot I. Think. One of the biggest problems for me dating. This person, besides. All the shit I just said because that stuff really sucked too was, I don't really know if he was dating me because he liked my personality. Or. Because, he wanted a foreign girlfriend. And, to be honest I feel like that's really common like I hear a lot of Japanese guys like a coffee. No kanojo machine, on Keiko, could eat that scared me die now it's, good with it we have to be to be nice and it's like dude it's, like the same you, guys and me like we should not be going, to date somebody just because they're a, different race, like. As. It was not cool and I think over there it's just more widely accepted, because it's not like. America, where it's like a melting cloth so people are more like okay, when people say shit like that and it's just it's fucking annoying and I, feel like when you date a Japanese, person there's always gonna be that doubt like. I. Have. Pink hair. Like. I said he didn't fuck with the way I dress he, didn't want me to do the job that I wanted to do he was really shy like, in various, like in the end I really feel like there. Were just too many differences in, general, and maybe we were just together like I was really lonely my first year in Japan he. Probably wanted a foreign girlfriend. So. I feel like outside. Of those circumstances, we didn't really fit that well together and, that's, why it didn't work out. That's. Why I didn't really work out but, who. Knows I, mean. If. You want to try to go into it then. Be. My guest in. Fact you'll probably have a better time than I did because I was kind of crazy so. That's. Some good ikana those are all the reasons then, it's been working out and I. Guess, those are the things that you have to look out for if you date a Japanese, person I would say make sure that you find, somebody whose. Personality. You mesh with before just like going straight into a relationship, like we did because you're, gonna have to spend a lot of time with that person and. When. You want to watch shameless. And, they. Don't know what's going on it makes it makes life real hard. Okay. Guys so have you ever dated somebody from, a different country if so what were the cultural differences, that you experienced. And what. Did you like about it more than dating, somebody from your own country let, me know in the comments, and I. Will read them I'm. A bad, boy good, thing also, let me know if there's any other questions you have or if you want me to do any other type of videos on this kind of topic because, I'm. Having a real fun time exposing. Myself, and. English, yeah. Gonna dog oh my shit the most that I take in a rocket. What. Is I think, you. Know not very an agenda stop. Because. I got.