Billie Eilish: Same Interview, The Third Year | Vanity Fair
Let's. Do this. You're. Three. Y'all. Been asking for it so here we are. My. Name is Billy Island Billy Eilish, name is Billy Eilish, I think, it's October, 18th. 2017. October, 18th 2018. October, 18th. 2019. I'm. 15, I'm 16, I'm 17, I have. 257,000. I have six, point, three million, forty. Point. Seven million. That's. Great that's so. Do. You Wow that's, crazy, one point one three million, nine, point six million. 152. Million. Google. Searches, of, me. Bing. Who, the uses, Bing. It's. A picture of me and Charli XCX isn't, it the one about me smiling, does, a lot. That's my face. No. That makes me feel good though cuz because sometimes, the most like pictures like you with like another celebrity are you with. Somebody. Else but that's just me she's hard come on I'd. Say probably Khalid, which, is weird cuz he's like just, a homing of mine Oh Haley, Bieber Justin, Bieber young, thug Avril. Lavigne Ariana, Grande Kid Cudi ty dolla sign Oh Taylor. God there's so many. But. Like Drake come on Drake. Drake. Is like the nicest dude I've ever spoken. To I mean I've only like texted, him but he's, so nice like, he. Does not need to be nice you know what I mean he's at a level in his life where he doesn't, need, to be nice but he is you know being. Apples, up next artist. Jeez. Hey. I. Did. Ellen last week Jimmy, Fallon so many festivals, I met Takashi Murakami and, went to his studio Dave, girl's daughter did a cover of my song he played guitar for her at a talent show I think there's, been a lot of that's happened in the last year. My. Skin was so bad, Jesus. Look. I'm glowing now yes. My. Skin got better I. Was. The season. Opener for SNL I just. Sold out a headlining, arena, tour did, Howard Stern Rolling, Stone cover el cover, v cover billboard, cover released, the album had. A number-one single had a number-two single, for like 16, weeks straight, or some right biggest.
Selling Album of the year I have. Drake's phone number. The. People that support, me my. Fans which I don't like to call fans my you, know my. Family, you know god, I was. So annoying then, finishing. This album and doing. The most crazy shows like I'm, capable of doing in, the next month I finished. That album thank the Lords above because I was about to jump off a building, to. Finish that album oh my. God. Exhausting. Thank God I finished that I can't honestly sometimes I think about it sometimes I'm like like. Me and Phineas have had conversations, while we're like can you believe we actually finished the album I swear, to God we thought we would never finish that ever. I love. That album um. Probably like I'm. 10. Dude, I love, it. It away. It's great sorry eh I never, went to school I ever got grades, sorry. A plus that's what I meant, a most, important thing right now though probably would be, maintaining. My. Happiness, which. I've been experiencing, for like the first time in. Many. Years. Lately. Which, is really cool and not that my friends aren't like also, the other most important thing in the world and doing, shows is also really important to me and doing crazy shows especially but I. Want. To stay happy, that's. A big goal for me. I. Don't. Know if I'm more confident, I just think I know what I'm doing more I. Think. I'm less confident, actually. True. I was less confident, for sure I. Was. Definitely not as confident, last year as I was before that, but. I am for. Sure a, billion. Times more confident, confident. Than both of those years I, feel. Like I'm probably the most confident I've ever been in my life I, guess. I. Don't. Know how the I don't know how it happened but I guess I am I, I'm definitely successful, I was. Thinking about that like earlier today because. Of this interview, I was like. Back. Then I thought it was. Like the biggest it. Was ever gonna be and I thought you. Know it was the most I was never gonna be recognized, and it was the most anyone's, gonna know me and it. Was the most money. That I would have the. Most clothes I have most, shoes that I'd have and, what's. Crazy it wasn't. Success. Is not. How. Well people know you it's, how, you're. Like. Looked, at I genuinely. Did. Not think. People. Would care I, like. Can't even stress. It enough I can't. Believe people care, so much. About. Me it's, crazy to me I. Might. Be safe if I go to Trader Joe's No. Not. Safe I tried, it I went, to Trader Joe's did, not work, nope. Did not work. Tried. It I also tried Costco, which I thought I'd be safe at and that didn't work fuck's.
Sake The reason it was like affecting, me so much last year was because all. I wanted to do was go out I don't, even, think. About going out anymore, I. Like. This life, that I have I like. Pain, in this it's very weird but it's very cool and, I can, I feel like I can say that now because I used to hate it I hated, doing press and I hated being, recognized. And I hated. Kind. Of everything that had to do with it. There's. A lot in Fame that's, gross and horrible and just. Miserable but. I'm. Very grateful for it and it's really rare and it's really I'm very, lucky so I'm done. With complaining, about it I complained, about it for so long. Probably, that stupid. Cheeto head man, November. 6th there's, an election soon I really. Hope everyone votes so. The, world doesn't end there's, an impeachment going, on. Honestly. The news is so bad I can't even oh yeah, Beyonce, had some twins, and. She still looks fly. Kalani's. Pregnant. Grete. Thunder honestly, she's, been. Kicking people's ass. As. To get it that, can die okay, as skin it's must be like let's get it but like a skin is so annoying, stop, oh that, stupid snapchat. Filter that's like Jenna, Jenna, I'm. Kind of over the whole like. Dueling. That. Is so ugly. Like. Smoking. Looks cooler than Julie I think. Don't like, don't smoke but yeah like. People. Think I'm pregnant and sad people thought I was pregnant first I can't they, did think I was pregnant. There, was like a story on snapchat the other day it was like wait, did, Billy Eilish have a baby, like. What. Biggest. Rumor though now. That. I sold. My soul to Satan. No. I don't have a boyfriend I, can't. I could not have a boyfriend that would just be mean to him I. Don't. Know I almost had, one for like it. Wasn't really exclusive, I. Hate. That's. So funny. I. Don't. Have a boyfriend I. Actually. Did then but. I don't know I still, am on good terms with everybody, um. And. I still have so much love for like the. Person that I was within and, but, I am, single. And. About to turn 18 goal. For. The first time in my life I don't, feel. The need to be. With. Anyone, for. The first time in my life I I. Don't have my eyes on anyone I'm not in the mood I. Don't. Have enough stamina, for. It right now and. I'm totally, fine with that so. Who. Knows, I'm. Open to it. I think, the month of May probably mid May I was in a horrible place, mentally. So. I'm. When a friend of mine died in June it's. Pretty bad in January. I had, a meeting showing. Me the schedule for, the whole year and. I. Sat. There and was. Totally silent and totally, still and just tears.
Like Just. Streamed. Down, my face I went to my. Garage. And, I just cried. It. Just was very overwhelming, and I was in a really bad place so. I. Don't. Want to take it for granted I. Don't. Want to take it for granted I catch myself. Sure. Even some things I've said today I catch myself what. Am i doing what am I saying, what 40,000. People what. Are. You ever conscious. That you're doing something that you don't want to be doing but, you. Just you're just doing it it. Was, like that, because I was, taking, it for granted and I that, makes me really mad and I don't want to be and I just was I don't. Know I worked really hard on not doing that as I said in that and I've kind. Of held my ground a little bit I think I have like kind. Of accomplished, not taking it for granted I've been really. Grateful, for everything and really aware lately. And I just, was realizing, that I was giving too much of myself to, other people's, lives into other people's situations and I was. Like you know what I need this, attention. On me right now so. Yeah. Fruitvale. Station Rubel station Fruitvale station the. Storyline, is so heartbreaking, dude, that. Grabs you and pulls you in oh. No. This I can't afford a real change they are real my chains were gifts I did not buy anything that I'm wearing I stopped. Wearing real, jewelry like. Real diamonds and stuff. Because. A. I'm. Gonna break that, be, i'ma, lose that. See. I. Got. Other to buy you know what I mean I, like. Bright green a lot I like. Black it's. Been pretty dark lately, so I've just wanted to be dark with it black is like the. Only time I can go through the airport and be fine that's. Cool because the airport is normally like basically being at a meet-and-greet but. If I'm wearing a black beanie and a black shirt and some black pants and black shoes I'm pretty good I don't. Like them all like I'm not opposed, to anything, anything. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. I feel. That there is pressure on me but I don't feel the pressure you know what I mean I feel. It less now that it's bigger in a way it's, like. Performing. In front of. 80,000. People is way, easier than performing, in front of eight people I. Don't. Know why I kind. Of would say, the the. No respect. Element. Of the getting recognized, I want. A hug I want. To talk to somebody and hear how their day went I don't. Want a camera, shoved in my face. Mm-hmm. It's. Gotten much worse since. Then. Excitement. Makes you be. Kind of stupid sometimes I did, this show last. Week where, I went down into, the, crowd, and I, just. Did this to all the hands, and, somebody. Grabbed, my hand and. Yanked. Me so. Hard, and. I. Had two security, guards two of my security guards with, my hand in one hand and or my arm in one hand and. Literally. Going like this to try to pull me away and it took a, minute. To do it I'm like bending, over and I was also singing ocean ice at the same time I was like like. And, I and then that when they finally let go I like fell on top of this. Thing and then somebody. Stole my ring somebody, grabbed my hand and pulled, my ring off stole. It whatever, I expect that and then I. Leaned. Back into this one area of all these fans and this one girl just went. And. I. At first I was like she, probably didn't mean to because she kind of went like this, they're. Only trying to be loving and sometimes. It just comes off wrong that's it. Don't. Post. Everything. You think. Should. Give it to myself then do, but. I do it now I don't anymore yeah, that's, what I was just saying, sometimes. Better to shut the up I would. Tell 16, year old me to to. Remember who her best friends are and remember who the people that care. About her the most are and not, throw. Them away for, somebody else or for something else. I. Really. Hope that I'm not an asshole, because. I'm really afraid that I will be and I really don't want to be you better not be an asshole or. I will whip your. Ass I, don't, know if I'm my asshole I might. God. She's, God. See, I didn't oh my. God, I was, so bubbly and okay. But. What's funny that wasn't, actually in real life I just, was new to new, to interviews, and I thought I had to be all like bubbly. When. I watched that when the other one came out last year I was like I like. Didn't know I could swear I was saying like freaking what the heck what the heck laryngitis. As heck tiring, as heck mine, asshole I don't think I'm asshole maybe, I don't know I, performed. For a. Bunch. Of Jared Leto's friends and Jared Leto in his, house I performed. For Leonardo. DiCaprio, injured. Big. Huge. Living, room bieber, watched my Coachella said. That's. Crazy Mel see sporty, spice came to my show Avril, Lavigne came to my show Thom Yorke came to my show Dave Grohl's come to my show Billie, Joe Armstrong came to my show. Julia. Roberts has come to my show Leonardo. DiCaprio, watched my S&L show but, a backstage, I don't even know why he was there Chris. Rock um.
Well, I didn't know for those last couple of they were in there Bieber. I was, thinking about that the whole time Bieber. And Haley were both watching me and I I luckily. I didn't see them because if I had seen them I would have lost my, whoa. Lil, Wayne Oh to perform, with Lil Wayne that's, a great answer, myself. I hired. Another whatever other. People doing, shows with other people is really stressful. Brockhampton. Tiara, whack is sick my, favorite, artist is techno there. Isn't one, song, that I don't like that he puts out every single. Song that that man puts out I love. Shouldn't. That count as your favorite artist is an artist that puts out music that you only like you. Know what I mean. Having. The approach that no one's had trying. To write something no one's written so. Stupid. I remember that try, to write something no, one's ever, heard. God. What an idiot, see that's why I'm still. Bad at it because that's what I was trying to do whoo. True. That's, so funny, um, yeah. She's. Right. Yeah, I still. Bad. At it okay honestly, I don't know because I kind. Of have no idea, what to expect like, I, thought, I knew like, last year I thought I knew what the what. People would like for my album and I thought I knew like what. Would be popular I was so wrong bad. Guy is like the biggest. Thing ever now which is so weird I did not think anyone like that one so. I have no clue I'm I almost have a feeling that the one that I would. Say is my favorite like. One. Right now, people. Might not even like it so. I have no idea. The. Music industry man we're. All sad as hell all these artists we're sad as dude everybody. I know that's an artist we, are sad mother. So. Annoying I. Somebody. Got that tattooed, that. Quote. I. Don't. Think it's fair, to say that we're all sad because I don't think that's true I was just sixteen and friends. With a bunch of other. You. Know, young. People that were kind of going through the same stuff like having. This crazy, spotlight, on them and they were. Sad too and. That's. Why I think I thought that but I hadn't. I didn't, experienced, it I think, it's a it's a beautiful thing we get to do I think it's really difficult and I think that's what people don't realize and that's why I wanted to say that then yeah.
It Was terrifying and it's like it still is but I enjoy. It and I I. Don't. Know Android, oh I, just want to do I. Want. To create what, I want to create when I want to create it it's gonna change no. Matter what same. Whatever, I want, oh my. God telling myself to do something different, next year I'm gonna just do what I want next year, so. I'm doing this year. That. I dress. And look really different than my music which is true for all the old music I have or like the stuff I put out like years ago but you got to remember I was 13, when ocean eyes came out and then. I was 14. When. I wrote, like. All the rest and then I was 15, when I wrote don't smile at me with, my brother when, we put that out no. I'm 16, and all. Year I've just been making music that's gonna come out when I'm 17, and then when I'm 17, I'll probably be like yeah this isn't me now but it was me when I was 16 and then I'll make music when I'm 17 and then when I'm 18 I'll be like this, isn't me now a. Genius. Oh my. God hell, yeah, damn. Articulate. She. Stated. It perfectly, dude, she. Put it better than I could have put it I mean. It the thing is that the ones that annoy me are the ones that are pretty true, like. My voice is really, soft. And. It's. Not belty and. And. That. People think that I oh I whispering, all my songs and like. I do in a couple songs but I feel like people just say that about because that when they've heard one. Song like listen to wish you were gay a Bishop, Elton and, like. My belt is not even close to it, Adele belt Adele, was like a literal, God but. It's, just different like, you. Don't have to be shouting, to be good. At singing my brother is my best friend my brother is my best friend my best friend is Phineas. But, he is also my brother, Instagram. Probably. Instagram, I just, remember hurting my feelings, lately, I really. See everything but that's the problem is that I see everything so then I see everything I don't want to see him you, know it's just this. Mmm, thing. In my brain so lately it's I don't, like looking at it. A, fan. Brought me a notebook, filled. With, huge. Like, letters. From, my fans to me all from different people and it's like tons of pages it's. Incredible. People. Throw a lot of things at me on, stage I've. Been thrown you know bras avocados. A girl gave me is, huge. Like. Stuffed, blows. That she made with this like velvet, material and, I. Have been sleeping with it for a week now. I. Wasn't. Gonna tell anyone that. It's. Really cosy, though. But. The other day I was lying in bed thinking like what, if she put a camera in this thing. It's. Really. Hard to talk about my life and have it not. Sound, like I'm bragging. My. Nose is so cute in. That, sorry. I just look at that nose look. A little button sometimes. I'll catch myself in, a conversation, with someone acting. Like I'm in an interview and in interviews you're trained to talk about yourself and not ask the other person about themself and so, I'll catch myself in art in conversations. Where I'm like, like I'm not. Be. I'm being, interviewed I'm acting like I'm being interviewed instead of acting like I'm talking to a human being and I think, some artists, and celebrities haven't. Even learned that and still, just do that and people, I love do that that, I've met where they just they're. Trained to, talk like they're in an interview and that's normal but it's like we forget that we're not though, yeah. The first year I was like you better know how to drive right and, didn't. I say oh. No. I, saw this part recently, it was like you. Better know how to drive because. I've been putting off drivers in because that stuff stinks I hate that stuff oh. That. Stuff, stinks. Why. Didn't I say that sucks like I could have said that that. Suck at what that stuff stinks oh my god so. Cringy. Jeez. Hey. Billy a year ago you have your dream car can, you believe it no you can, but. You can no cuz it's your car now um, it was a Dodge Challenger matte black. Actually. Literally two months from today is, my birthday so two. Months after, that day I got my dream car and I cried for about three hours. You. Better have a Lamborghini. The. Mom moment to please this is my mom she. Is sick as a booty I don't mind I can stay here that long. I love. It next. Year I hope you're very very, happy, and that, your happiness, you have this year continues, and only grows. We. Have everything you want in life and, you. Help change the world for. The better mom is definitely gonna help change the world though more than I am.