017: The 4 Moments That Influence Trust
Hello. And welcome back to the resiliency. Ninja podcast, I'm Alison, Graham your host and today, is, a cha, Fridays, and of, course the cha is the noise that a resiliency, ninja makes as its watts problems, out of its way and succeeds. Anyway. No, matter what is happening in your life and today, we, are going to talk, on a part, of the building your army of allies, message. That I've been sharing for a lot of years and we're going to dive in to, how do you build trust, and more. Importantly, than that we're actually going to talk about the four points. In time in a relationship, when. You, can maximize, and, control, or at least really influence. The level, of trust that other people have in you and of course Trust is, the. Essential. Element of a profitable, relationship. In business. If you, are looking, to sell something if you are looking to get advice if you are looking to connect authentically with, someone if the, trust is is down. If, it's, it hurt in any way it's. Going to be harder, and chances. Are somebody will choose, your competition, over you if you. Can't develop trust, the, thing is is that Trust is a very much an ambiguous term and, so. It can be it, can feel, like well how do I actually, achieve. It and that's. What this video is about I'm going to share with you four moments, where, you can influence, the, trust level in a, relationship, and I created, the system that sort of framework when. I was going in to speak with one of my clients we were doing a workshop on building your, army of allies and creating. Profitable, relationships, to sell business, and. They. Are in the financial sector so, of course Trust, is something that. Is. Imperative. I mean you can't have, a financial, transaction without. A trusting, relationship and. So, they really wanted me to go deep on the trust and I thought well if, it's. Something that you can only influence, but you can't, control. Because it's really somebody else's perception. Of you. The moments, in time that matter most, and so, I've created four, of these touch points so there are other places in the relationship where, Trust is important, but these are the four that I think are the most important, and please, leave, a comment let, me know do you agree are these the four most important. Opportunities. You have to influence. Trust so. First let's. Go we've got number one, is your. Reputation. Before, somebody. Even meets you they. Are going to decide if they've heard about you if you. Are going to be trustworthy, or not I, remember. When my dad was alive he used to say I wouldn't. Trust that guy as far as I could throw him and it, might be an old, sort. Of saying I, don't, hear it a lot anymore but, if you're. In the financial sector or if you are. Somebody. Who has a business a product to service that somebody, needs to buy from you you do, not want that being said about you because, if somebody is. Thinking. That, chances. Are they're going to say it it's, interesting even people who don't gossip, when. There's a trust, breakdown, in a relationship. That. Word, will get a lot around more. Than any other topic in, I. Think human, behavior, because. Most. People like me I'm not going to tell people if somebody screwed up or they dropped the ball on something, whatever, but if I feel. Like somebody is not trustworthy, and I. Know somebody who I care about or and trust is. Going. To. Engage. With them in a professional level and I know there's a trust problem that's. When I'll step in and. I'll. Say something and, I know this happens with other people as well I'll, say something like you, know I just I really want you to check references first, or, I. Had an experience that led me to believe that, maybe, that's not the right place to put your money or. You. Know whatever the case may be or just know what you're getting into, those. Types, of warnings, only. Come, when. There's a trust freaked, so. Your reputation is. Absolutely. Imperative. So. How do we develop, a great reputation, well. That's, all about your personal, brand, and, every. Interaction you have in public will either add to. Subtract. From, or, reinforce. The opinion, that people have of you and, collectively. That, will create your reputation. That's, why it's important, to act as professionally, as you can when, you're in public now. We all have bad days, myself, included where, I think oh gosh, why, did I react that way or why did I say that or why did I get so worked up about that that's, just being human. But. We need to act. In, as, best away we can in the most authentic. Joyful. Thoughtful. Professional. Way that, each of us can each and every day to, help influence. Your reputation so, first one touch. Point is the reputation what do they hear about you. Before. They even meet you. Your. Second, opportunity, for, influencing. The level of trust that people feel about you is, in. Your point. Of initial, interaction, how. Engaged are you are you making eye contact do.
You Have a firm, handshake all. Of, those little, pieces, of the puzzle are you dressed appropriately. Even. If your casual, do you look like you're put together or do you look like it just rolled out of bed and came, into the office you. Know we've all had those days I get it but. You want to be sure that you're making the best first impression that, you possibly can and this. Isn't about having great hair this, is about being. Engaged, in. The interaction. How. Many times have you met somebody or been introduced, and you, can tell they don't give a that, you've met them and, they're. Maybe, playing, along but really, they're looking over their shoulder, to see who else is more important, who's, coming, to meet them at a networking event or they. Don't remember your name which. Is fair, that's another topic altogether but. I'll tell you this though. Numb. One, way, oh I. Don't want to say it's the number one but it the, top three ways that. You. Could. Lose trust. At, the moment, of introduction. Is. By. Using, a cheesy. Elevator. Pitch. Here's. Why now. If you haven't heard of an elevator pitch I will. Do another podcast. On, that so that's why you need to subscribe. Do. You love how on four cha Fridays I just throw that in every now and again just right. In the middle I'll, tell you it's, a good idea to subscribe, and. It's. Appreciated if you give a five star review and write a review, just. Saying okay, let me back up here. Elevator. Pitch essentially. What it is is that when somebody says to you what do you do. You. Go into, a value. Proposition, statement. That. Often. Is really adjective. Heavy, it. Generally. Is delivered, in a way that makes it feel very uncomfortable. For. The giver not forget about the receiver and. It. Rarely. Answers, the, actual, question, which. Is what do you do, and, I've. Heard, you know crazy. Answers. To this question. People. Say oh well I helped bridge people's, financial, reality, with their. Their. Hopes, and dreams and. I'm like oh do you work at Disneyland, like come. On b-ball know, you're, a financial advisor or and, you know what I know people, tell me well if people think it's boring, when I say I'm an accountant, or I'm a financial adviser or I sell, I, you, know this widget, but. What do you do. You're. An accountant, you're, a financial, adviser you sell a widget and, here's. The thing when it comes to trust, as soon. As you start adding like, a halo. Of. Around the. Answer, to. The very first question somebody. Is ever going to ask you in a relationship. You. Are risking. The amount of trust, that that person, is going to have in you I would. Take a boring, answer that is concise, accurate and. Understandable. But. What do you do over, a floury. You. Know explanation. Of your value, proposition and spewing. On for a minute or, two to answer, the question. Any. Time because. Here's, the thing the boring, succinct. True. Answer. Will. Build more trust in a relationship. Than. The, crafted. Elevator, pitch, now. It doesn't mean you don't have to be able to deliver you your value, you absolutely, need to but there's a time and a place and within, first you, know three minutes of meeting somebody is not, the. Place it's not, and I. Wish. People. Would start using the elevator, pitch in the, right way at the right time and it is not at, the, beginning of a relationship I don't know if you're, watching me on video you know how passionate, I am about this if you are listening on the podcast I, hope. You can hear, it in my voice. Please. Stop using the elevator pitch because it kills trust. I'll. Do another video on how what's, a better way to incorporate, all of that information and. Another. Podcast if you subscribe, you'll, get a chance to get that or you can get it on my online program that. Teaches all, of, this plus. More in four, and a half hours of video content broken, into little itty-bitty pieces and we're. Cheese etc it's my profitable, networking, program online I.
Will Put that in the comments, because I think that's really important, especially as we're talking about this. So. Let's get back on track we've got your reputation. Is the number one point of influence, for, your level, of trust ability, the, second, is that, first, time you get to intro. Someone, when. You when you're introduced, to someone so you want to be engaged you, want to be authentic. You, want, to avoid using a cheesy canned. Elevator pitch that is. Not. Gonna work just. For the record okay. The. Next, time that, you can influence trust is. Throughout. A relationship. Based, on your consistency. Of delivering. On promises. Now. These, promises. The big ones like. I'm, going to send you that on this day a proposal. Or, a, client delivery, or I'm going to show up on time those, are the simple. Ones. What. Is really, valuable are, the. Little offhanded. Oh let's. Do that or oh I'll send you this how. Often, and, hey. By, the way I'm guilty of this too I'll, be in an event I'll have a conversation with, someone and I'll say oh you know what I'm gonna send you a link to that, article. Or, that. Technology. That I love that, I'd love. For you to share with you or a link. To my online program and then. I don't do it. Have. You done that where you say, you're gonna do something and then you get busy and you forget, to do it, so. How can we counteract, that well one, thing I've started doing a long, time ago I actually here's somebody's card right in front of me I, bend. The cards, that I need to follow up with because. That means there was something important that we talked about that I need to follow up on see, look here's another bent card. With. Notes on it on what I said so, that's. An another, touch point of being, consistent, in, your, activity, and consistently. Following, through on the, little, promises. That you make to people it's, route conversation. And the big ones to, the.
Fourth, Is I, don't. Know I don't want to rate these as more powerful, because I think they're all equal, but. It is an opportunity, for you to, shine. Your. Fourth opportunity. To build trust is how. You react, when something, goes, wrong. Because. Let's be, fair. Something. Is eventually, going, to go wrong in a relationship, especially. In business right. Maybe, customer, service doesn't deliver maybe, you can't get them if you're in the financial sector you can't get them approved for a loan, maybe. You. Drop. The ball in an area maybe somebody else on the team does or, technology. Doesn't work it, happens. And I've. Found, that people are really, understanding. When something goes wrong but. They're not understanding, about in, what, will hurt the trust is if you don't react, in the. Right way and, so. I've, sort of thought what are what are the best ways to react, how, can you react when something goes wrong well. Often, what will happen is you, know the fight flight or freeze so. A lot of people will they don't want to deal with the mess ups so, they ignore it okay, hope. It's gonna go away here's, the problem it, doesn't go away the trust. If you, flight, or freeze. It. You. Can't get it back or it'll takes a really long time to build it back instead. You want to fight you want to show up you not fight obviously but you want to show up and say I'm all in I'm gonna fix this issue and then. What do you do well I think number, one take full, responsibility. No. Passing, the buck, just. Accept. It even, if it wasn't your fault doesn't matter do you want to be rich do you want to be right be. Right no, you know don't, be right it's, not about being right it's about making. That other person, feel like, they're, gonna get somewhere in in, that. They're feeling like you are making it right, so. Number one accept responsibility. Even if it wasn't your responsibility. Next. Thing you can offer an explanation but you can't make, excuses. Actually. I just, recently I, I messed up I forgot to do something it was not, a huge deal but it is a huge deal because it's somebody who, is a really quality prospect, I promise to drop off some books, before. He went away on vacation and. I put it in the wrong day so. I think in the email I actually said I've realized, my mistake I've called the office I've missed, you so. Sorry completely. My fault no. Excuses. What, I did was I actually put it in, the. Wrong day and my calendar is a reminder and. That's. What happens so now I've. Taken responsibility. No. Excuses, but offered an explanation just, so he's not thinking I'm completely flighty. Third, thing is now. You got to take steps to make it right and in. This case before, he gets back from vacation I will have my books delivered and, I'll figure out something that, he really likes that I can. You. Know add to it like a gift basket or something and then. The. Next. Thing is to share the learning, what. Did you learn from, this going wrong I think. People love to see growth they love to see that next step in it it increases. The level of trust because. You. Are you're. Showing, that there's forward, momentum and then and I think people will accept that things go wrong what. They want to see is how are you gonna deal with it and are they gonna continually. Go wrong or and, you're gonna therefore, repeat these mistakes or are, you gonna make it right so if. You, have messed up or somebody on your team is messed up please step. In take responsibility, give. An explanation but, not excuses. Do. A next step to try to fix it make it right and then, figure, out what are the next steps in the learning, because. Those, opportunities, when things go wrong or when you can accelerate, the. Trust-building. Opportunity. It's in the trenches, where, we build trust. Now. If you've seen me speak at a conference you, know that one of the things I do is, I. Lay, out and I actually draw out the. How. A relationship. Involves how do you go from unknown, to. A loyal, client. And referral, source and one. Of the things that we'll talk about all of this along the way so your mini bonds and how are you showing up what your reputation all, of that and then. One of the things I inevitably will say is, you. Can't have loyalty. Without. Longevity. Can't. Have loyalty, without longevity.
And So. Trust. I think we we have an initial. Reaction, to trust so we either our gut says oh, my. Spidey senses, are up about this person and I don't there's, just something off. And. Or. So. There's that side or it's like yeah I really like this person it's a good vibe and I want to get to know him or her a little bit better. That. That, piece so when we continually. Reinforce. By. Consistent. Action and. Reputation. Building and every, time we see somebody following. Through on what we promise and then. When things go wrong because we know they will reacting. In a very professional way that's. How we create, long-term, trust. Like. True. Essence. Of you trust where you have loyalty. Because. Trust. Is one piece loyalty. Is where the magic happens when. Your, competitors, try, to swoop in and. Find. Your clients and take your clients but they are not going, anywhere because they are loyal, to you and they're, gonna be your cheerleaders, and sending you referrals, you can't do that without trust, and. Hey. I'm, gonna do another podcast, on, referrals, see, I come up with these. Look. I'm writing it down for those of you who can't see me on the video and just listening on the podcast because. We. You. Know getting referrals as a whole other conversation, so, I will do that on another episode but I, so, I hope that helps, the four moments in time when, you, can, best, influence. The trust in a relationship in business let, me know is there another point, of contact, with that I haven't thought of in the comments below let me know what when. Do, you think you have the most control over developing. Trust which of those four is most. Important, to you please. Subscribe. I know I joke about it through throughout. The segments. But it's, so important, to get subscribers, and to share this message I am out. There putting my heart and soul into doing these podcasts and I hope you're loving them, and the only way more, people are gonna find out about it is if you share if you leave a review, write. A couple sentences, give. Me a recommendation on, LinkedIn, and by. The way don't don't, be shy, connect, with me outside, of this, podcast in the video send, me a message on LinkedIn and we. Can connect so. Until. Next time embrace. Those obstacles if you're going through them you know and, that's just it's. Just life and you. Can succeed and be joyful, anyway. It, doesn't matter what's coming at you so until next time.