Overcoming Obstacles with Michelle Blundell-Dunkerley

Overcoming Obstacles with Michelle Blundell-Dunkerley

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Hi guys and welcome to the very first episode of, bold, moves, a series where we're going to be sharing the stories, of people, who have made bold moves in their lives and careers whether. It's turning their side gig into a full-time hustle, or, overcoming. Some obstacles or, barrier they faced our, mission is to get you inspired, to. Make the bold move to take your life career, and business to the next level, I'm, your host Angela, Merced and. Let's hop right in and meet our first guest. Hi. Guys so today we're. Going to be talking to Michelle, Blundell Dunkerley, she's. A financial, and security adviser we're, gonna be talking to her about her work and also another, topic, that was really important for her to share and that is her struggle and her healing from complex, PTSD. Michelle. Has been featured as one of the 100, Calgary female entrepreneurs, that you must do business with with and volume. 2 of no magazine, and you. Can check her out and the rest of the gals at the no tribe comm she's. Gonna be one of the many ladies that I speak, to from the no tribe, so. That you can get to know these amazing gals as well so congratulations Michelle. I'm being featured in the book and welcome to the show, thank, you very much I'm really glad to be here Angela, that's, great, so. One. Thing I found really interesting about, you is when, we first got introduced, to each other I just loved the way that you introduced, yourself, to me and. The. Tagline that you use and part of what I do for, my clients is, I, help, them to communicate what it is they do in a way that's really memorable, no, how, do you introduce, yourself, can you tell. A little bit about what you do and yeah. I take care of your business and your family when you can't and, I've been in the business for 20 years and others and I haven't, met anyone I can't find money for. That's. A great motivator, for people to check, out what you do I think. Really. Strikes your curiosity, so so, tell us a bit about the. History behind how. You got to be doing what you're doing what, you were doing previously to, this, and.

The Reason you made the career switch yeah. Well. It's been a crazy, ride over 20 years I. Started. Out on the trading floor as, a trader with it, was Greenline back then there now TD Waterhouse and. Did. That I ran there new issues desk for central Canada then I supervised, traders, and then I got into the financial, planning and I, I think it was an O to I. Think I actually got into it. And then. In. 2008. I took 8, years off and was a stay-at-home mom because, my husband was traveling the world for work and. We. Moved back to Calgary in. 2015. January. 2016, I'm in Costco, I run into somebody I worked, with on the trading floor and she's. Like do you want a job and I'm like yeah, I can go back to work now so I went back as an assistant because you know eight years out of the business something's, gonna change perfect. You, don't want to sit in front of people saying I'm the expert if I've missed out on eight years of what's happened, right so which, I hadn't, you know and, so anyway and then yeah in 2017. I just said no I'm gonna go do it myself, and. Yeah. It's been awesome. Perfect. And you mentioned, before that you work with your spouse yeah, yeah, my husband. Is. Also my business partner okay. What. Happened when I when, I because. I had worked in the office as an assistant people got to know me got to know my ethics, and my integrity and so. When, I came, out as an advisor that I had three advisors, approached me in the first six months and asked me to take over their clients, so, I went from zero to, big. Really, fast and I, don't. Want, just anybody, handling. My clients, and my, husband, wasn't. Happy, with. His career and I, said why don't you just come do what I do and, he's. Really good at it so that was awesome that, was about. He. Would take care of my clients, the way I want, them taken care of yeah. That's super important, for sure totally. Do, you have any tips for other. People, out there that are working with their spouse or partner in, order to stay seen and, to keep things working, smoothly, how, do you handle that um. We. Get along really well like. We. Actually, met, on eHarmony. Okay, they. Did a personality, profile. And matched us up and they did a really good job and, in, fact. He. Scored the same as me he got a perfect score on the. Aptitude, tests, that they make you take when you wouldn't become an advisor and. Both of us like killed. It because we've, got the right personality, for it. So. Yeah the algorithm, has really do work on those. Well. That's good so first tip is make sure you get along with your spouse. We. Did Renaud's like I bought my first house, I think three days before our first date so. We. And then he had. Bought his house six months before that so, when we met we both had our own homes and, we. Ran out one and sold it and, ran. Out the other sold, it well. That's a lot to go through you guys must really like each other yeah, they're, stressful, I know that we're always renovating. Over here oh yeah. And it is and if you can get along when you renovate you can work together, that's.

Good I will make, sure the listeners and the viewers know, that that's the test yeah. The, renovation, or go traveling, together okay. Yeah that's like the Amazing, Race right yeah that's, a real test of. Relationship. So. As far as finding money for people can you give us just one insider. Tip that our viewers, are can, take with them to start looking in their budgets to maybe be able to find money for themselves absolutely the, biggest way I find, money for people is i reorganize. Their debt like, I tell. Them to get a line of credit and move all your, credit, card debt to. Lower interest, debt you'll. Pay it off a lot faster, and. Like. That's I have found my husband five hundred bucks a month when I first met him just. By. Already. Reorganizing. His debt because he had a guy at work who was advising, him and. He. Just had like, ridiculously, high interest rates and and you, know whoever was, at the bank wasn't working for him hmm. And. I find you know nothing, against the banks but. It's. Really hard to develop. A relationship with somebody at a bank because they're only in the for, eighteen, months to two years yeah. Though, and then they move on to something they may move on so you. Need to have that one person who really cares about you, right and your finances, I mean. I don't make any money when they do this I just want, people to have more money right and I want to. Spend be able to spend it how they want not, on things, like interests. And fees and, mm-hmm. All that hidden stuff that you hang, every. Month well it's a good tip because you're looking at really what's, a common, credit card interest rate right now twenty, twenty three percent it's nineteen nine, usually, you, yeah versus. What six for a line of credit is, six to eight yeah sometimes, or, depending. On when you took it out and what the interest rates were like it's, a huge difference, and it makes a big difference in terms of paying it off faster. Okay. Good tip for us. Thank. You for that you're, welcome. So. What would you say is the best most. Rewarding, part of what you do for your clients. It. Probably. Sounds like a cliche, but I do love. Helping, people I love, making a difference you, know. Money. Is such a stressor, for so many people and I get to take that stress, off their plate and that. To me is just huge, and I like, I love, people I love learning. About them I love knowing their, lives and, and just, knowing, that whatever we do is going to help them and their kids and their grandkids and. You know so, I just I'm. A sucker for helping, people. Awesome. That's great. You. Know that is a real skill to have, for. Sure I know. You talked about this when we spoke earlier was. And. Maybe this is a good segue to bring this the other part of what we're going to talk about is. You. Felt when you're growing up that you didn't really have that cheerleader. So for you you want to sort of be that person. Absolutely. Yeah you were lacking so, I know, what. You want to talk about too, what. Partially, was the. Complex. PTSD that. You. Dealt. With and overcame and, I. Didn't, deal with it yeah I, suppose. Yeah. But. Let's. Talk a bit about that so. Why. Is it important, for you to, share that story about, your PTSD. It's. Part of who I am I don't have a pre trauma history. You. Grow up in. An. Emotionally, abusive environment. It's it. Has a long, reaching, effects. But. Most. People with my condition, have. A hard time getting off the couch and. Getting. Out of the house they don't trust people like it's really hard for us to trust people when your, caregivers. Betrayed you right, though. Trust is a huge, huge, issue for for, people like us and a, lot of people. Can't. Hold down a job with, complex, PTSD and, I. Want, it I want people to know that yeah you can and and, you can go into business for yourself, and you can rock it how, you want, right. That's. Awesome, not. That you that. You can rock it not the other part yeah. Of course but so did. You find that, you had, some challenges, in your business because, of this and yeah.

That's Showing up in your business yeah. I. Still. Experience. Flashbacks. And and, terror. And, so. Having. My husband actually as my business partner, has. Been a, huge, help on those days where I just I cannot. Face any people it's two people he out there. I. Can, send him and he can take, care of stuff right and I've got an assistant, and you just have to put in the. Supports, that you need right, and nobody. Has to do it all themselves right. And and I think part, of being a good business owner is knowing, your, limitations. Finding, people, who can turn. Your weaknesses into strengths, right. Yeah. Yeah. Totally, so yeah your husband is your safety net that's, great yeah. So. How now, you you, sort of explain the difference to me about. PTSD. And complex, PTSD what, difference. Can you define that for our. The. The, only real difference, is the length of time that you were traumatized so. Normal. PTSD, it comes from an event, or a couple of events kind of thing whereas. Complex. PTSD it. It's, like. Day-in, day-out your whole life, right. And so I. Kind of think like I always felt like I was at war with my, family always trying, to defend myself always. On alert always the. Verbal attacks and, the humiliation, and things like that so I. Am. Really thrilled that, I. Got. Out of that and. Yeah. Sorry, I sidetracked. So. Going. Back to your to your question. The. Difference, is, it's. The prolonged, and it's, the day-in day-out and. And. Doctors. Are now starting to to. Differentiate. Between complex. PTSD and. PTSD. Okay. That makes sense so it's the length of time yeah, so. It's. When you grow up with it yeah I think it's something that never goes away, but, no you, learn how to manage right. And you learn how to deal right, right. Right, so. For, you for yourself, how how. Are you able to take, that first step what, is the first step in managing, this, and dealing, with it, what. Advice do you have for other business, owners who are struggling, with. This yeah. Talk. To somebody like. Find. Someone, you can trust to, talk to I mean. My husband has been my therapist, many times. Because. For us. When. You have complex PTSD you, typically, had you, know you, know you weren't very loved and so. You, struggle. With that and so, my. Journey I've had trouble with counselors, because. Most. Of the time they look like a deer caught in headlights and, because, I just come in and say okay here's my story right and it's. Too much for them and they can't handle it and, so. That. Can be very damaging to, people, so, but, just stick with it stick with it and persevere. And I, I. Work, around stuff right, I've. Always been a square peg you. Know and, so I've always had to do things slightly differently and. It. Still works right, it may not I may not be going from A to B in the line that most people think should, but. It's my journey and I'm, doing, it for. Sure so for you it was finding, that person even. Though you didn't, find them initially. You just kept trying to find yeah. And then I did get a get some good help and yeah. And it's just you just gotta feel it the, only way out, of pain is through, it unfortunately. And. You have. To feel it and half, the time we develop these the. Complex, PTSD is, because we're avoiding feeling, because, the feeling is too painful and, then.

You. Know so. You. Gotta you gotta just feel, it and annex. Feeling. It and accepting, it I think. Are, two. Of the biggest things, interesting. Interesting so yeah going through the pain rather than trying to mask it or, ignore. It, yeah. Like I have. To say for me cannabis. Was a lifesaver, I three. Years ago got, a prescription, because. I'd heard that it helped people with PTSD, my. Doctor, was against, it because there wasn't enough information my, counsellor was against, it but. I was like I gotta. Know something's. Got to give, right what, it for me though is it. It gave me. Like. It made me feel and so. I would feel these things and I would work through them and. It. Was awesome like, it. Is changed, my life, amazing. Yeah, that's. Amazing actually to know we, have I've just heard a statistic that we have the most cannabis. Outlets. In all of, any city in Canada so. That's. And. I don't even show up here okay. Well we have the most here so we're already stocked. Up already, a. Prescription. I order it online, okay yeah you can do that too, walkins. We have lots here so, but. You would suggest that somebody like, you, go through this, with, the help of somebody else. The. Only thing that really really saved me was my husband's unconditional. Love and. And then that, translates to my kids unconditional. Love. Being. Loved is what is the. Biggest cure, for, me right, as I, wasn't I never felt loved yeah. For sure amazing, that you came out of that and you found the. Thing that you needed right I think a lot of people probably maybe. Haven't gotten there yet but. There is a goal that they can oh yeah, I mean I did spend six years as a single person before. I found my husband because I would have a date and I would see a red flag and I'd be like ah I don't want that you, had a probably, dealt with yet, you hadn't gone through, it like no III, didn't. Even realize I had it, when I married, my husband, like Oh interesting. Yeah, so, how long ago would you say you had that realization, like, okay I have to have to do something about this have to get some help. 20:13. Probably, 20, yeah. Yeah. It was about because I think I was about six months where my dad died and I. Got I just I had, had enough I was tired of being in pain all the time and. I. Said I gotta do something about this and I. Actually. Got a lot of help when I moved to Calgary cuz. I was living in small town BC, and you know the, services, aren't always you. Know. I mean. They were good they were helpful but, I really, got down to it here and me, out away, from. Everyone. And I, cut out all the abusers, in my life so I don't have contact, with them, some. Of them have died and, the. Ones that are left are I I. Wish them well I'm, on. The sidelines, cheering their, life on, but. I can't be a part of it and. That's what I loved about you and we talked last time is that you, wish no harm like you say and you, even told me that you told your sister hey if you're willing to change your ways I'm willing to you. Know have, a relationship, with you so that's that's. Amazing because I know bitterness. Can really, plant. Its claws in you and grow, into. Something that really takes over your life I don't, know what that, life. Zero-interest. I you. Know what the first part was really crappy, so the rest of its going to be really good. In. Charge now so, I can make it that way. So. I know you're doing a talk on. Overcoming. Obstacles in, Calgary pretty soon here so how can people find out more about that and I, intend, that yeah, it was, called mompreneur, life but, they just changed the name to real, bhisma.

I Think. And. We. Do a brunch, and boss moms, there's, actually one this Sunday, and then. November. 24th, is mine and it's, a bunch of business women that, come and and. I'm. Just going to talk about my. Journey and, really. I. Genuinely. Believe, anyone. Can, do anything they set their mind to and I. I am, grateful, my dad I believe. He had see PTSD, as well undiagnosed. But. He always believed, in me and he always said I could do anything I set my mind to and he. Didn't believe that my gender was gonna, hold me back or any of that and. So. That voice, was. Always there going you can do this you, can do whatever you and that now I look and I go you know what I've. Surprised, some pretty awful. They're really not, this is not an invitation but there really isn't a lot more that that, can. Take me down you know what I mean if I if I'm not down, yet and. So. I'm just I'm just grabbing, life and I'm living it that's, amazing and, I know what you mean about the that. I had a dad like that too who, really, encouraged, me didn't. You Iggy my gender at all he always joke and I say I'm she treated me as a son he never had because. I was out there fixing, the car with him and doing the landscaping, and all that kind of thing so I have one daughter like that and the other ones learn more like me and doesn't, want to get dirty. Was. The helper around so, same. Same, with him I just I never had that. That. Feeling like oh I can't do this because I'm a girl I I never I just didn't yeah right. That's, amazing I can see where you get your cheerleader. Nough strum yeah. Yeah, I think I genuinely, think. That if it. Was okay for my dad to be because he's, from the era where I mean. When my mom died and we said he might be depressed he bit our heads off because that's, a huge shame right, to that generation and. I. Always wonder, what his life would have been like if somebody could have, intercepted. At some point and and, he. Didn't you know and then my mom just, manipulated. And abused him as well and you. Know and and I just I always wonder if, if. It was okay, to say hey I'm not okay, right actually, as a guy right his guys aren't allowed to have feelings and. He, wasn't for sure and he was a very emotional, person right, now. Feeling so and, I, think that's you know another, big factor but, yeah I really wish I could have known my dad after some healing. Yeah. You. Could have seen a big difference in him like me and, yeah, i i'm, glad that we live in this era where it's okay, to talk about mental health issues mm-hmm.

Being More normalized yeah, and honestly I don't even see, complex. PTSD as, a brain like as a mental. Health issue okay. It's. A central nervous system injury and. Yeah. Like you, physical. It's. As. You're growing and you're developing like. You. Know when you get that shock you know and you you sort of jump without, with all the time for me and people, would say, and do horrible, things and and so, you're constantly in this hyper, vigilant, state right and, you. Know oh yeah we. Need to talk about it we do yeah, for, sure well maybe some of these folks can catch you at your, speech. So that you're giving yeah. Which would be great, so, I've just got a few questions for you to wrap up all right questions, I asked all. Of my, guests, because, I am a branding, expert so. We want to know a little bit about how. You brand yourself and. Give. Them some insights into that so. How. What, does he what do you stand for what is your brand stand for and how are you different, okay. Um. Basically. My brand is me because, I, I work, for freedom, fifty-five are contracted, with them. But. I it's still me but sitting, across the table from somebody, and talking. About their finances, finances, and with. People people, get with me straight. Talk all. My clients love that when I explain. Something to them they get it right, the, number of times I have heard a client say to me I have. Been in other financial. Advisors, offices, and they. Were talking Greek I had no idea you. Actually. Make it understandable. Because it's really not that hard right, like it isn't, and and. I, think I think. People get too bogged down in, the, big. Words and, sounding. Like they know what they mean and then you lose everybody right, I like to take the, big concepts, and break it down to like, grocery. Shopping right and how would you handle it for grocery shopping right, take, you down to level everybody gets it everybody. Gets it yeah I gotta, go babble when we just speak, in our language our, vernacular or not the clients vernacular, yeah and I get, sometimes. I slip out the jargon. Back. Myself up right. Yeah, and it's I don't do anything we, don't swim in any paperwork, until I'm comfortable, my. Client is comfortable with what we're doing and. So. They. Have to understand, it and and. The, beautiful thing about that is nobody, calls me when the markets go down because, they knew it was coming all right you you inform, them that this is what happens it goes yeah it also goes up yeah, yeah, this is just kind of the ride you have to you. Know go, along, yeah. Yeah, yeah yeah, I get that good okay. My. Integrity because that's a big deal to me being, honest, an honest, person it was actually a survival trick, tool, in my home growing, up because. I was, in trouble for everything, and I. Didn't even have to do stuff but, they. Could never catch me in a lie right. And and because. I just stayed honest, my dad was like that too, what. Would you say that your brand or yourself, you stand against. Anything. That. Dehumanizes. Anyone, I am a humanitarian. I think, you, know my. Clients, if you have you you get treated the same if you have ten dollars or ten million dollars because I see, human, beings I don't see dollar signs. Like. Yeah. For, sure and I'm sure your clients feel, that too when they're talking to you oh yeah, yeah, well, and you've got to think I I sell, life insurance who, do you want by your side when you're grieving yeah. You know want somebody who's gonna fight on your side or, or. Not right and and. I, mean I see. People at some of the worst times and I'm, able to just comfort, them. Definitely. Want somebody on your side fighting, with you not against, you on this case especially. It's. An optional stuff dealing with your finances, and oh yeah. Your insurance. Things. Like that mm-hmm. Oh yeah Trust is huge I'm sure huge, feared.

These. Are kind of fun questions, all, right if there, wasn't to be an actor to play your, brand in a movie who they'd be who'd you choose to, play the player, brand and why. Julia. Roberts cuz she's got that big smile, and everyone. Knows me for my smile. Incredible. Yeah. Yeah. What. Other brands would would, your brand be friends with. Hmm. That's. An interesting question enough, I don't know how to answer that because. My. Problem, is, you. Can't guarantee that brand right, that's. True you, know and so I'm. Kind of my own thing when. I separate, myself already, because. I. Don't. Know maybe. IBM, I guess, I say you you'd want to be friends, with somebody who's tried, tested, and true like exams, yeah. Who's, got a track record. Proven. And honest though. Exactly. Trustworthy. Yeah that's really a good, one for that. So. Tell us what is one crazy but true fact about you I. Recorded. The song my, husband and I danced to at, our wedding a. Link. To that in the show. Know. You could sing that's amazing, yeah, I was, really into singing back then and I just decided I wanted to do that I knew. A girl who had recorded. Herself and she walked down the aisle to herself and I thought you know let's do that for the first dance, well, that's confident, I. Didn't. Even want to show up to my wedding because I was somewhere was what every staring, at me I. Did. Show up though I did just for the record. Awesome. Well it's been great talking to you Michelle thank you so much for sharing, you. For having me I'm gonna, put some links below where you can find Michelle actually how can people find you let us know what's your, page. Under. Michelle blundell dunkerley I'm. Not very active on Instagram but, I do have an Instagram page okay, I'm getting, better I'm starting. To learn all this social media stuff great. Having you thanks, for joining us everybody, I hope you found this interesting, and helpful and don't.

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2019-11-06 21:11

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